Masculinity beyond breadwinning.

More thoughts on provision and protection.

I’m writing an unpolished follow up to my entry yesterday.

It sparked some convos’ and I’ve got more to add.

It is unpolished on purpose ok? I’m writing with my kids at my feet and I missed Padel to write this. I’m also on cycle day 26 so….

Obviously, it is a very (I dislike this word but I’m going to use it anyway) nuanced topic.

Firstly I want to clarify by saying that my husband is the financial provider in our family. As an eldest daughter of a single mum of four… let me assure you, it was a process for me to soften and rest into this.

Let’s rewind even more for those who aren’t familiar with my story.

Back in my twenties, I built an 8 figure organisation in the holistic health space. I then did what I promised I would do as a child — I retired my mum from her 40 year career as a high school English teacher and I paid off her ever growing mortgage. She deserved it and God gifted me with the tenacity to make it happen.

My husband and I had our first child in 2018. She was a world traveller from day dot— she came with us, strapped to my chest for a 7 city international book tour for my first book and looking back at our travel schedule back then makes me dizzy!!

I have a photo of her watching me give a big keynote to over 10,000 people when she was 6 months old (she was watching at the hotel room with my mum). At the beginning of motherhood for me, I did not immediately ‘soften’ or ‘relax’. I stayed at home with my babies always, but I have always had a mighty creative spirit as many of us do.

In some seasons, I deleted social media for 9 months and had nothing to do with public ‘offerings’ at all.

In other seasons, I created and self published books, or events, or short programs.

My nervous system slowly learned that I was not creating to provide for my family— my husband was doing that. I was creating for joy. To nurture. To connect. Because it was life giving.

Did I always have the prefect balance? No. Cue: mastitis.

But could I turn it all off at any moment and have zero financial stress? Yes.

I have created luxury limited edition books that I would classify as ‘expensive hobbies’ rather than business ventures. If you know you know. Italian paper? Yeh ok diva.

My point here is— when I wrote my previous piece on the topic of the family centred business, I was not writing it as if I myself am the financial breadwinner for my family. Could I be? Absolutely. But am I? No.

However. My husband and I have spoken many times about him managing say, my new podcast and using his vast business knowledge to help me become more efficient. When I considered stopping the podcast, he would tell me ‘I listen to every episode and you have a gift. You can absolutely stop if you want to, but I’d like to help you continue but without any stress.’

Protection.

Also… he knows how much joy expression gives me.

Also… he believes in the message of the podcast so much.

There are elements of running a podcast that are in no way in my zone of genius. Rocking up and waffling on for two hours? Easy. Thinking of growth, editing etc? Absolutely not.

I am grateful I have the resources to have a team who handles edits, and snippets because in reality, I could not do that as well as be present for my kids in the way I want to be. The wheels would in some way fall off at home. This is not a trade off I’m willing to make as a rule, but in all frankness, there have been days where the wheels have fallen off and i’ve realised— ok, too much.

Here is what I want to say though— I can thrive in my creativity and let it be a source of joy and life giving expression and service to my community, without the stress of provision— because of my husband.

If my podcast did grow or if I decided I wanted it to, I would absolutely call upon the gifts and skills of my husband so that I could stay in my feminine gifts and offload the logistical , growthy tasks that my husband is CHOMPING to get involved with.

While I am not the chief financial provider for my family, I know families in which the woman is… but it’s not as it seems. She might be the face of the business, but she couldn’t be doing it without the protection, provision and support of her husband. Her marriage still thrives because beyond simple finances, they are in their biological roles.

I have seen firsthand in my time in the network marketing industry where women have out-earned their husbands and it’s caused a lot of struggle for them. The man felt displaced, even depressed and purposeless. This can happen and I’ve written about it. Men need purpose. Men need duty.

We know that it IS the man’s role to provide and protect. Most often this involves him leaving the home to do his meaningful, purposeful work that provides for the family.

So, what then happens if a woman’s creative expression suddenly starts bringing in more money than the family expected? What then?

**HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS. I am not advocating here for families to decide the woman needs to be the primary breadwinner. I am simply shedding light on the ways family-oriented businesses can and do work, while maintaining biological roles.

So imagine this scenario ( it is one of literally a gazillion different ones that can occur).

The family lives on a homestead. The mother starts a creative hobby as an outlet because women have always had creative outlets. Because of the nature of our virtual world, and also the fact that the world is hungry for the wisdom and nurturance of women and mothers, her ‘little creative business’ grows.

The husband has been working away, long hours. It is a lot of work to maintain the small farm and as her income starts to really grow, she starts to feel stretched— more enquiries, more logistics— she’s feeling the pinch between her business and her home life.

Imagine if rather than it be considered ‘her’ money, the family considered it ‘family money’.

Imagine if the man stepped in with his manly skills and took tasks off her plate that were weighing her down, and taking away from the joy and creativity. He is not an extra in the family business, but a core contributor.

Imagine then he had time to spend on their land. Teaching the sons survival skills. Growing food. Adding onto the house. Unburdening the woman. Trading resources with neighbours. I bet you can add more onto this list.

The woman gets to create in a fruitful way and yet she feels so held and supported in the ‘tricky bits’.

He is not forgoing his responsibility to protect and provide. That is an innate duty of the man that is far deeper and more holy than we know.

Here’s what I came here today to write:

A man might be an amazing financial provider, but then what if the apocalyptic predictions start to unfold?

What if the power went out? The banks closed? What if all of a sudden, his protection and provision was all about his SKILLS and his GRIT and his STRENGTH and not just about how much money he makes?

You can be a wealthy guy and bring home a load of bacon and not know how to protect your family in the case of emergency.

You can be high in status but not connected with God, not spiritually anchored for your family.

You can be buying the kids the best running shoes but not teach your sons to fish, to defend themselves, to remind your daughter of her innate beauty and worth.

You can be super successful at work but not hearing your wife’s cries, nor noticing the ways your family needs leadership and correction.

This is what I mean when I say that protection and provision runs far deeper than just money.

Money matters yes— all resources do. But protection and provision sometimes requires more.

In our culture, men think they are alpha males when they climb the corporate ladder and can flaunt status and Rolex’s.

But true masculinity isn’t that. It really isn’t.

It’s the inbuilt ability to protect and provide for your family and ensure their survival in emergencies, and they’re thriving when it’s not.

Biologically, the woman is the man’s territory. He lives for her joy.

Biologically, the children are the women’s territory. She lives for their joy.

(The amazing course I have studied recently is called Freyja, by the way. Linked here. It is awesome for understanding the biological differences between men and women specifically regarding needs and communicating— however my interpretations are according to what I witness in culture too).

This is a far deeper and more holy dynamic than a cookie cutter approach would suggest.

If a woman is more joyful than she’s ever been when she is creating for her community, and the man recognises that the resources are greater, and that he can set up his home so that they are even MORE prepared for the future…. why wouldn’t he?

A true man won’t feel his masculinity is threatened if he stops climbing the corporate ladder. His sense of duty to the true wellbeing of his family matters more. He knows what true protection and provision is.

The world has feminised men.

The world has also sold men a false sense of masculinity.

Protection and provision is holy and YES…. It does include providing RESOURCES for the woman and children.

But RESOURCES also include SKILLS. PRESENCE. STRENGTH. CAPACITY. ADAPTABILITY. not just when times are good but when they are not.

That is what I came here to say.

Another point I want to briefly touch on is this. In the example of one friend who has an enormous business in the health industry. She LOVES teaching, consulting, and in true feminine style— connecting with people deeply. She has a great team that handles everything beyond that. She is truly one of the most radiant, relaxed women I know.

Her husband is not sitting back relaxing letting her just bring home the bacon. He is staunchly protective of her, her time, her joy. He from what I know, manages their land, which includes food, cattle etc. He also is very involved with the sons very masculine activities. This is also biological. Boys as they grow need their fathers more and more.

I am learning now in my studies that after a boy turns 6, he needs the correction and presence of his father more and more.

I am learning about how the mother will always tend to her children’s emotions in a beautiful loving way however, the father calls his boys into masculinity in a way only a man can.

There is also a lot of good to children having their father close to home in the case of a family centred business.

There is NO one right rhythm or dynamic for a family.

This reflection is not even based on my own life right now but from my observations of the world around me, and the things I am studying.

I have a friend who has been called to bring homeopathy back to the world. She recently trained 500 homeopaths. Next cohort, she expects over 5000. She has personally helped countless families heal in ways that are astounding, she has also been the personal homeopath to countless fertility cases which have seen success. She is building a homeopathic hospital. She does it joyfully, with the support of a team and most importantly, with the staunch love, protection and provision of her husband.

Imagine if she said “No, I can’t do this. I’m terrified of out-earning my husband.” Her family lives in a harmony beyond this. They yielded the call from God beyond this. They are a team. Their family is a team. She is radiant, joyful and although an amazing worker, she is so very feminine.

She has changed countless lives on behalf of God. And her husband has been instrumental in this too.

God meets the times. We are not living in the 1920’s anymore as much as many of us kinda wish we were. We can maintain biological roles and tradition and conservative values while also responding to the voice of God today.

This woman is one of the women who inspired these pieces. I interviewed her on Good Women show and it’ll be out next week (first week December 2025). Once you hear her, you will know why I was so inspired by her and her family’s dynamic.

I have conservative values. I love tradition. I also know that God calls each family differently and He calls us beyond our ideals and into TRUE faith and surrender.

God will never calls us into a dynamic which abandons our biological design. He knows us, He knows how He made us.

I am not writing to make a prescription. I am not all of a sudden a progressive. But honestly, can you see how these political labels keep us from hearing God’s voice in real time?

I am simply sharing my observations. Observing things softly allows me to soften my own rigidity and to hear God beyond the loudness of my algorithm.

I want this freedom for us all and it does not require we abandon our values.

Love Pk. X

Also, on that note. I have a brand new thing!! It’s a 160 page guide to integrity, freedom and peace— particularly around social media and expression. Take a couple of weeks off scrolling and free your voice, and your mind of that inner conflict you have when you approach your instagram app.