The era of family centred business

Biological polarity even when the woman starts earning big bucks.

I have many medium sized posts to share with you in my drafts.

You know the posts where they appear to be too short for a full Substack entry but too long for a note?

It’s the kind of length that would work perfectly as an IG carousel.

My point being— this entry will be medium sized, like a burrito bowl that isn’t overflowing, isn’t under-filled but is just good for satiety.

We are in the era of family centred businesses.

The vision Erik and I talk about is this one— we want to be on land, have a home that teaches the kids real world skills, have a family business that we can all contribute to and that can teach our children real life lessons. Most importantly, we want to be together.

It’s not just us, either.

What I’m seeing is this:

— Women and mothers are being called to use their gifts and voices ‘for such a time as this’, but in a way that allows them to prioritise family and home. This is nothing new, really but I sense our generation really seeking this beautiful ‘sweet spot’ with it.

— Women and mothers are, perhaps accidentally even, earning bigger than expected money from sharing their voices/gifts and it’s made families stop and re-explore the most life giving shape for their family life.

— Men are in some instances, are responding to this new ‘shape’ and are stepping into a new kind of provision, taking a role in the new family vision.

Now, we know biologically that it is a man’s primal role to provide and protect. He is built by God to do this. A woman is built by God to nurture and connect. Women were designed to be the child bearers and child nurturers and men were designed to provide the resources for the family, so that a woman in those tender years is not expected to carry that burden.

In this modern world, with a smart phone in our hands, earning good money isn’t like it was back in the olden days.

So what happens when a woman’s creative business starts popping off?

Does the man start to feel ‘without purpose’ because he’s not the sole bread-winner?

Does he feel emasculated? Does the woman view him differently because she’s out earning him?

It all depends on the family.

Here’s what I want the woman to know— your man can still protect and provide for you even if your business is popping off. Provision and protection are deep and holy and extend beyond finances.

Women have an innate, God given ability to nurture, connect and see details in a special way.

I have seen friends who have grown enormous businesses as a family and then see them beautifully reorient their shape so that the wife can do what she loves to do— nurture, connect, create, but the burdensome load is lifted from her from her husband so that she can be bouyant and energised for her children. She gets the life giving rewards of her creative efforts but her husband steps in to manage all that would drain her of her peace, her vitality and her joy.

This is provision too. In conservative, anti-modern-feminism circles it could be assumed that the highest ideal is for the man to be the breadwinner independently and for the woman to have a ‘little side hustle’ if she wanted to. This may be the gold standard for many families.

But I don’t believe God works this rigidly. God knows who He has gifted and what with. He knows who He calls and what to. He knows who He has paired, and how they complement each other.

But God DID design us biologically differently as men and women, and these biological differences can still be honoured if the woman has a creative business that suddenly starts growing.

Men can still provide and protect.

Women can still nurture and connect.

The home stays or increases in it’s sense of harmony.

I’m seeing men step in and be the provider in new ways— staunchly helping to protect his wife’s time and energy.

He observes where she is joyful and where she is stressed.

He is taking off her plate the jobs in her business that are burdensome for her.

He is providing safety and an environment where she can be in the joy of her creation, and still be the thriving mother she wants to be. This is provision too.

When I talk about the fact that it is biological for a man to be the provider and protector (it is), that doesn’t mean that you can’t maintain polarity if the woman suddenly has a business that is popping off.

God is using and moving families in many ways, sometimes with the woman’s gifts at the front and centre— this does not mean the man’s biological role as provider and protector is diminished.

Women want a man who is capable of providing. Whether he is the main breadwinner or not, she wants him to be resourceful and motivated. I believe any woman who says otherwise is lying. No woman wants a deadbeat, lazy husband who is unwilling to serve his family. But this does not mean that a man cannot be a staunch provider and protector even when the family orients around the woman’s business.

Sometimes, when a woman out-earns her husband, it destroys their polarity. She perceives him to be weak or incapable.

Sometimes, it doesn’t happen like this. She earns big money because her work is popping off in a time where the fierce and loving feminine voice is needed. She leans on her man, he protects her from all the vipers and stress that would usually drain her femininity. It all depends on how the family navigates it and how they maintain their biological roles regardless of income.

As my mentor Dr Sasha says— The dishes are not a masculine or feminine job— they’re a crappy job that needs doing.

Sure, the bins are my husbands job in my household and cooking dinner is mine. But is our polarity dependent upon this? We can’t see things that shallowly.

We believe in God’s biological design. Also, I know that simply ‘doing the feminine things’ but not BEING a feminine woman, is not what I want.

You can do ALL the pinterest worthy trad-wife things and not BE feminine, soft, serene.

You know?

I am learning to go beyond the shallow and into the depths of biological masculinity and femininity and it is confronting, especially for those of us who were hardened, and who still grip to hyper independence. I believe reclaiming our femininity is the healing for women of our generation.

So, essentially, even if the woman is creating boldly now in the way God has called her, her man can still be the strong, sturdy masculine provider and protector she needs. Biologically, he needs to be this too. Men do not do well mentally when they feel useless or displaced.

We are entering the era of family centred business and it is beautiful.

Orient it in a way where God’s good design is honoured and where everyone is thriving in their gifts and design— where family is first and life is breathed into the home. Forget what the influencers say— listen to how God is calling your family in real time and pay attention to the primal, unwavering truths of your biology.

You will know by the harmony, the aliveness, the peace and joy within your family.

Speaking of which…. My baby turned two last week!! (Scroll below to keep reading)

We celebrated with an gelato cart, friends and family, facetimes with those far away and a special doggy cake my mum made. It was beautiful and she is VERY much two now.

Figgy is the sweetest youngest sister ever, the family comedian by a long shot, and sharp as a tack (sassy too).

She won’t go to bed without giving sol and pax ‘kiss cuddle’… She helps herself to icecream straight from the tub which is a third child rite of passage I believe. She puts on ballet shows and says ‘mum see dat?’ when she does tricks on the trampoline.

She is the local dog whisperer— knows every dog by name and walks confidently up to even the HUGE Rhodesian ridgeback on our street and gives her little hand for a lick first, then a cuddle.

I’m so grateful God blessed us with Figgy.

Also I don’t wanna be an influencer but if I was, I’d influence mummas to have another child ;) Children are the greatest blessings and it’s true what they say… third child is a gateway to a fourth and I’ve heard parents with four or more kids are the most chill. Can you confirm or deny?

So, new from me……

— I have a BRAND NEW 160 PAGE BREATH OF FRESH AIR FOR YOU. It’s called: Honest: Creative Integrity in a Performative world. Be one of the first to Grab it here. It’s not a social media growth guide, it’s a freedom, peace and integrity guide.

— If you don’t know yet, we are 12 episodes into GOOD WOMEN, my new show. I will begin releasing some of the episodes on here too, for those who don’t use other social media platforms (I know there are some rogue buggers amongst you, and I love it). We will wrap up season one after episode 18.

— I also recently did my first pod interview as a guest in YEARS! I joined the awesome guys at Here For The Truth. You can listen here.

Love, PK XX