Launch a podcast, touch grass— staying grounded in the online world.

Launch a podcast, touch grass— a manifesto of millennial balance.

Hi you sweet lot,

It’s been a hot minute (a month?).

So first things first— I’ll update you after my last email. I found my new team member! And she came from this beautiful community. I had so many really wonderful applications— thank you. As the team grows, I know where to turn for awesome people!

This morning I launched a new show— It’s called Good Women.

You can watch it on Spotify, Youtube or listen on Apple.

I intend on publishing it here on Substack too as we get going.

I don’t want to sound like Meghan Markle when I say this (if you know you know, no shade!), but I have worked my toosh off to get it off the ground. This isn’t my first ‘create something while mothering’ rodeo, but it did feel more effortful.

Back to back filming sessions after a full morning in the sun with the kids, watching the episodes over in the crevices of the day to make notes/timestamps (not fun lol), assembling a team and onboarding and integrating, navigating communication challenges and different styles— woven around the rhythm of my home and in a period where my wonderful in laws were visiting. It felt significantly more energy taxing than publishing books even.

And it had nothing to do with the work.

Let me be clear— I am NOT complaining. It is a GOOD LIFE I am VERY BLESSED in ALL CAPITALS. I am not carrying water on my head for 6 miles or encountering the many savage challenges of mothers around the world. I am creating something I care about while getting to be at home with my children. Honestly, it doesn’t get any better than that for me. I am grateful to the moon and back x 1000.

I started work when I was 13 years old. I’m a worker. So hear me when I say it’s not the work that’s been hard.

It’s felt hard on a different level— mental. Spiritual warfare. Constant self doubt, over thinking, worrying about what I said, who will misinterpret it, whether little snips will get shared out of context.

Thoughts like: This is dumb, nobody needs another podcast, you can live a nice, peaceful quiet private life, why on earth would you subject yourself to the insanity of the public online sphere in a new and vulnerable way when you don’t need to? You’ll be a worse mum. People will say things and it will affect you. You can’t handle it.

Those thoughts sound so true until you recognise that they aren’t coming from God.

But there’s one persistent thought in there which I take and examine often:

“Why on earth would you subject yourself to the insanity of the public online sphere in a new and vulnerable way when you don’t need to? Why don’t you just enjoy a peaceful and private life, especially now with your kids? ”

Honestly, that’s a great question.

To be honest, most of the time I am enjoying a peaceful and private life with my kids— when my boundaries are strong and sturdy.

Do I need to do this?

Nobody has got my by the throat demanding me to do it.

It’s taking a lot of resources— energy, time, and definitely money.

So why??

Simply answering: I feel God calling me to. Probably not forever, but just for now.
I feel like God is compelling me to use my voice beyond my own ideas of ‘but I don’t want to start a podcast everyone has oneeeee’.

Not in a self-importance way.

Not in a self-inflated way.

I know the world will be perfectly fine without my voice.

But I am here. I am alive. God has given it to me. I feel a responsibility to use it. And because of that, I want to.

One thing I have learned about sharing your voice online is you need to know:

— What your values are.

— What is compelling you to do it.

— What is your responsibility and what is NOT.

My responsibility is not engaging entitled people who come and say things like (true story): What about people who don’t wanna have kids? Talk about that.

It reminds me of the people who comes into my inbox, i’ve never met them in my life and they say: TALK ABOUT THIS. YOU SHOULD BE SAYING THIS….

And my all time favourite… DO BETTER.

Girlfriend, where is YOUR platform? What are YOU doing other than berating people you’ve never met because their worldview doesn’t directly match yours?

I loathe this kind of entitlement if I’m being honest.

This ‘whataboutism’ is rife and insane.

These are NOT exaggerated examples:

You’re sharing a recipe with cheese in it BUT I CAN’T EAT CHEESE.

You’re talking about growing a business but some of us have normal jobs HONESTLY YOU ARE TONE DEAF.

You talk about how kids and family are so important BASICALLY YOU’RE SAYING THAT EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T IS WRONG YOU NEED TO EXPRESS MY VIEWS NOT JUST YOURS.

I shared a reel the other day calling people to start their own platforms— those who want to be more seen in others views and get frustrated because others aren’t performing for them like they want.

My message to them was this: Use YOUR voice. Not just in others comment sections but on your own platform.

Tell it how it is from YOUR eyes, rather than yell at a stranger expecting them to do it for you.

Don’t have the courage? Borrow some from the people who are using theirs.

OK, little ranty. I’m typing this one handed while my baby sleeps on me so I’ll stop there.

My point is to empower people to: stop trying to get others to be your voice if you’re a grown adult with your own. YOU use it. YOU tell us your views, your pain, your lived experience. Because only you can.

This should be empowering.

My other point is this. If you going to have a voice online, you need to know what is your job and what isn’t.

Entertaining every single projection from every Tom, Dick and Harry who stumbles upon your work isn’t your responsibility. It’s not a price you have to pay for your expression.

Micromanaging others perceptions of you isn’t your responsibility.

Being the voice of everyone and trying to include every single perspective into your message isn’t your responsibility.

Constructive dialogue, YES. Delulu dialogue, NO.

We need to know where to draw a line.

We need to know our values— integrity, freedom, compassion, faith, health— whatever is driving your message. These values will guide not only your words but also your reaction to others.

When integrity matters more to you than applause, you may just find more courage to post something that your old school friend Ricky will disagree with, get two likes and be able to carry on with your day.

I am upping my game in this arena as a commitment to me and my family.

I can express myself earnestly, without it meaning I owe my days and my peace to everyone who encounters it.

I serve God and my family first.

Creators need to take responsibility for speaking in ways that are not violent. Absolutely.

Consumers need to take responsibility for discerning what applies to them, understanding that strangers are not speaking directly to you because they do not know you. They are not your punching bag. Go to therapy.

So, this is where I’m at as I decide to tackle some controversial topics in as loving a way as I can without being a watered down snowflake trying to tippy time around absolutely everyone and everything.

Because I believe in free speech.

I believe in Truth.

I believe in wrestling to find it.

I believe in the healing power of expression for me and for you.

I believe in life giving ideas.

I believe we should all be safe to speak and disagree.

I believe we should hold ourselves to high standards of both creating and consuming.

I have prayed over and over — If there is nothing for me to do outside of my home, I am happy. Give me clarity to know the difference between what I am called to do, and what I am believing I have to do because of old patterns of over-responsibility or even perhaps more ego related like a desire for relevance.

I hesitated on THIS particular show for 2 years because I didn’t want to begin if it was rooted in anything other than a genuine compelling calling from the most True place I know.

The spiritual warfare has been strong and also comical at times.

Not only intense doubtful and dark thoughts, but some days of physical exhaustion out of nowhere with a certain flavour that I couldn’t recognise (foreign!! Not natural!!).

There are many moments where I have thought— Nup. Not worth it.

I’ve learned that that deceitful, lying voice stops us all too often. It’s definitely stopped me before.

I want to encourage you to sturdy yourself into the ground, into God if you are of faith, into your values before you engage online.

It’s ok to take time to pray and discern and root yourself steadily before sharing online. Actually it’s important to.

Today after launching, I laid on the grass with my littlest babe and played in her mud kitchen. We have freshly laid grass after two months of piles of dirt outside because of our pool going in. Laying on the grass with her felt like pure heaven. It regenerated me. It reminded me of the importance of physical regeneration when being online, and to never ever forget WHY we do share here.

Also, these moments with my family are the main point for me. It’s the whole point of my show— for women to know that these are the golden days, that society lies, to encourage women amidst a degrading culture to take it all back - your home, your voice, your vitality, your mind, your faith and your innocent honest wrestles on your journey of knowing God.

Two new episodes will be released every week because I am nuts, but also because I don’t know the longevity of this pod. It might run for a year, two years, or ten years. I know that I will give it all that I can while it’s alive.

For you, for our daughters, for our sons, for our families, for each other, for God.

Love, PK