Enough. Let's have a more relaxing holiday season.

For the mums who always do the most.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately.

Mental capacity stretcheddddd.

The other day I missed a follow up appointment with my homeopath because I got the time zone wrong. That same day I accidentally sent a message meant for Erik to my Dad (it was about dinner, so breathe easy). Then, upon realising my mistake, I went to resend the message to Erik and ….. I sent it to my real estate agent.

Yep— I did it twice.

The next day I missed a scheduled meeting, something I NEVER do.

I pride myself on being switched on.

Too switched on, if you know what I mean.

So switched on I never switch off.

Meerkat.

Eyes in the back of my head.

Never misses a beat.

Thinking 10 steps ahead of everyone, all the time.

You forgot? Don’t worry, I remembered.

You didn’t think of that? Don’t worry, I did.

I forgot my snacks! Don’t worry, I packed extra.

See this photo of me as a baby. I was as alarmed and alert as they come.

We’re preparing to travel overseas, from warm summer to cold winter then off to warm weather after that. Taking Christmas overseas is no small logistical operation. A robust collection of homeopathic remedies, two totally different climates of clothing for three kids, Christmas gifts for the extended family we’ll see, the right nappies in the right places, drinking water, scheduling catch ups in teeny windows— all that jazz.

Before we go, we have three family birthdays (Figgy, Pax, my sister), an early family Christmas, end of year plays, kids markets, Tae-Kwon-Do grading, more events than usual, wrapping up my first trimester of Homeopathy study, and an unexpected surgery for a family member.

I’m throwing Pax a big 5th birthday, because last year his celebrations were small because we’d just had Figgy. It’s a ninja themed party, with a bouncy castle (!!! Pray for us!!)

a game of ‘pin the sword on the ninja’ courtesy of nanna

a cinnamon scroll cake (20 cinny scrolls stacked on top of each other

as per the request!)

a piñata full of Freddo Frogs and all those choccies we ate in the 90’s that don’t frequent much in our as-organic-and-seed-free-oil-free-as-possible-without-being-obsessive-household.

I don’t do bday parties in halves. Maybe cos my mum never did. I have a winter birthday in Australia and so mum went full max effort on planning indoor parties for me. Think fairy parties, discos, a gym bus that came and parked on the lawn. We each had a party every single year, so the standard is high. Not ‘boujee’ high, just ‘effort’ high.

One year for Sol’s 6th party, I had ‘the flu’. I was on about day 7 of it, and also 24 weeks (ish) pregnant with Figgy. I threw the party, albeit slightly bent over. Nobody got sick at the party, as expected, but I will keep my thoughts on the contagion theory for another day(s).

It’s all so little in the scheme of things, I know that. I recognise how trivial these things are. It’s not big life stresses (except the news of the urgent surgery for our family member, which did throw us all, but privacy for now).

For some of us, even if things are not life threatening, doing things to a super high standard can feel like a matter of life or death (my homeopathic treatment is taking these layers off for me— more on that later).

Despite a lot of awareness of my tendencies, I find myself biting off more than I can chew as a pattern at this time of year. I always say I will keep it chill for birthdays and Christmas but…. I have very little chill in this area. I require some chill.

I love Christmas.

I really love Christmas.

I have always loved Christmas.

Even with no money as kids, my mum always made it so special for us.

I saw something the other day that said :

“Becoming an adult is realising that your mum was the holiday magic; the Christmas decorations, baking holiday cookies, creating traditions, staying up later to watch Christmas movies. It was always her.”

The other day, premenstrual and feeling just zonked. I’d just finished doing a big sesh of ordering all kinds of gifts and logistical things to all kinds of places for all kinds of things and I had that exhaustion that consumption always brings. Over-Consumption is so life sucking.

It’s that same kind of exhaustion after being in the shopping mall when it’s busy, or after scrolling too long on Instagram— that feeling of being completely drained of life force. Energy spent on the wrong things. It’s yuck.

Just when I thought I was done with my list, finishing off with a titanium cooking pan for my dad, I thought about how nice it would be to order framed prints of the kids for everyone, so I did that.

Finally done, I thought I’d go for a nice walk in the sun with the kids to pep me up. Either that or zonk out and watch a cringey Christmas movie. But a thought creeped into my head:

“You should write hand written Christmas cards to every single friend this year. Nobody does that anymore. Do it now though so they make it in time all around the world. You should send that local non toxic perfume to Laura, and one to Liz…. ”

ALLLLLLLLL the other things I could do.

What will we eat on our Early Christmas down under? Better order something nice now.

How many kids will be joining us at Christmas? Better grab some extra stuffed koalas at the airport in case there are some surprises.

Have we found a church to go to on Christmas Eve where we’re staying?

Xylitol spray for the plane— I think it’s in the car console.

Plane snacks. Don’t forget.

Does each kid have an even amount of presents?

How many Tae-Kwon-Do lessons will we squeeze in before we go?

Dam- their grading is the week before we fly.

Did I give enough to The Salvation Army? Factoring in inflation, I should give some more.

On and on.

Until we say enough.

This week, I said enough.

I’ve said this so many times, but it’s often not our lives that are tiring us, it’s our mental activity. It’s alllll the things we allow to occupy us that are not the correct uses of our time, attention and energy.

I’ve also said, it’s often not our children that tire us, it’s all the things, people and thoughts we give toooo much energy to, that don’t really need it— poor phone boundaries, over consumption of information, our attempts to keep up with the joneses. When we reorder our attention, vitality returns.

Kids love presents for sure, but do you know what they love more? A joyful mum.

My life, my home and my children don’t tire me out. They give me life. I don’t say that in a cheesy or wanky way but for real. They are God’s greatest gifts to me and sure, it’s not always easy but I know one thing for sure— my mind, and my lack of boundaries with it + things like social media + information overload— they make me more tired than my kids ever have.

When I notice that I am giving unnecessary attention (and also my patience) to things that really do not matter, I pull myself back into line.

First and best energy goes to my home and those in it.

First and best Christmas energy goes to the true core spirit of Christmas— generosity, blessing others, joy, peace and the celebration of Jesus and the hope, joy and salvation He offers us.

How can I spread the Christmas spirit when I am faffing around trying to do the most, all the time?

Sure, I play Christmas music all the time, we’ve had our tree up for yonks, we have a very festive house. But I want the Christmas spirit to POUR out from me. I want to be the Christmas spirit, not try to manufacture it.

I care more about this than making it all so perfect for everyone.

I believe they all do too.

I’ve been asking myself how I can draw the line.

How can I take things off my plate so I can give my family the gift of a relaxed and joyful mum this Christmas?

How I can enjoy this sacred season for what it really is— a celebration and appreciation of all Jesus came to give us?

There have been several Christmas’ where I have been so burned out by the build up, that the day itself has been a total blah. One Christmas we drove three hours to family Christmas, I cooked the meal, we ate nothing cos we all had gastro, so we drove the three hours home on Christmas Day with empty nauseous bellies. The emotional implications of this are not lost on me. LOL.

I know I’m not the kid anymore, and it’s now my job to give a spirit filled Christmas to my kids. But I want to enjoy it too. I wanna drink it in.

We’re travelling for Christmas. Naturally, a mumma is going to be mentally ‘on’ with the logistics of being on the move with kids.

But my goal is to be able to turf what doesn’t matter, and amplify what does.

Joy.

Peace.

Giving to and blessing others especially those who really need it.

Family.

The life, living water and hope of Jesus.

I want to be childlike this Christmas in my spirit.

I do not want to have the life sucked from me from the over-consumptive nature of the holidays.

Simpler, but better.

The funny timing with all this, is that I’m currently taking a homeopathic remedy for the purpose of getting to the root of poor boundaries, over responsibility and perfectionism. It is a deep, subtle process and hooly dooly… it’s working. (Note, the same remedy won’t work the same for everyone, which is why I’m not saying the name of it— so you don’t go out and buy it when it’s not at all indicated for you). I just want to share how my own homeopathic treatment goes along with the things I write about for context.

I’ll get into this with more oomph in another entry.

I’ve got to jump off now and get onto a tutorial and then take the kids to Tae-Kwon-Do. Both are ready for their next belt and it is the coolest thing ever. Martial arts is so epic.

May your holiday season build up be peaceful, joyful and full of the true Christmas spirit. Less, but better. Simpler, but better.

Lotsa love,

PK. XX