Do not make anymore decisions until you have decluttered your house.

Order and beauty-- you need it.

“We should not fear the future. We should fear the many moments we let slip here and now.” ~ Dominique Loreau

I have been on one this week, in a good way.

Premenstrual and a bone to pick— I’m sure you know the mood.

One thing I promised myself this year, was that I would declutter— not just my regular quarterly declutter, but another level. The goal can be summed up as less but better.

A capsule wardrobe that I love— less items but nothing that irritates me when I look at it.

A home that is even more orderly and beautiful— things we love, and nothing that we tolerate even though it’s of no use.

A creative life that is simple and ordered, not ambitious in too many directions.

Kids areas that are simple and easy to tidy, not anxiety inducing and overly time consuming.

This is an entry reminding you of how life changing it is to declutter, and some ideas that have helped me go next level with my own decluttering.

I don’t use the term ‘life changing’ loosely either.

Freeing yourself from the burden of excess, from the grips of ‘stuff’, and from the frustration of limbo and into the fresh air of space and clarity— it’s life changing.

We spend so much time and energy trying to ‘get clear’ and ‘move forward’ and ‘start new’, and from experience, we can never really do any of that while we are the owners of too much stuff.

Too much stuff, creates an overburdened mind, a taxed body and a weary spirit.

“An excess of things is invasive, overwhelming. It deflects our attention from the essentials. Our minds become cluttered, like an attic full of objects accumulated over time. We feel constrained, unable to move forward. But if we fail to move forward, we are not living. If we carry on accumulating possessions and pursuing multiple desires, we become confused, anxious and listless.” ~ Dominique Loreau.

On a mini walk the other day I said a prayer that I’ve said many times before when praying about clarity on some things— ‘Help me to know the way, but mostly to trust that it’s the way.’

We’re tossing up a few things right now as a family, not major things but just little direction things. Depending on the day, the time in my cycle, and whether I’ve had enough butter and sugar, my ideas change. I can wake up in the morning certain on something, and go to bed at night with a completely changed mind.

A strength and a weakness, a joyful thrill and a frustration.

Sometimes I say the prayer nonchalantly like I’m sending God a voice note: “Hey God, it’s just me. Can you just get back to me about whether it’s this way or that way? End of business today would be super. Ok, tata.”

Sometimes it is a little more earnest and desperate. Imagine me walking up a hill, weighted vest on (if I remember it), wired headphones in (because, you know), pretending I’m on a call:

“God look. Sometimes I drive myself nuts. You know it, I know it, my family and friends know it. I feel clear about the way, but then I’ll wonder if I’m actually clear or if it’s the devil on my shoulder. Am I self sabotaging? Is it intuition? I read this book once about how we shouldn’t focus so much on doing God’s will but on doing our will but God’s way. I read that rather than seek your will all the time as if every single step is fated, to trust the ways I’m called to go, but to do it your way— godly, honouring, honest. I know life’s not about you rolling out a play by play for me, I know that. But dam sometimes I wish I could just ask you a question like I asked chatgpt the other day to find me recipes for fermented buckwheat bread. You know, shortcut the lessons. I know, cheeky. But anyway, I’m tired of thinking today. My period is coming. Help me trust my clarity more. Let me know that I know that I know that it’s the next right step. Let me cast away doubts and guard my mind with even more precision. End of business today would be great but no rush.”

That night, I was going through my books to find one to read.

I was not in the mood to read about homeopathy.

I was not in the mood to read another novel that took me 50 pages to get into.

I was not in the mood for anything growthy and I was not in the mood for The Bible. Don’t come at me— God loves honesty. I’m rough, imperfect and deep down a vigilante and God knows it.

I saw in one of my many stacks of books, a book that I bought and read years ago— it must’ve been 7 or 8 years ago. I could see all the bits that I’d underlined and starred and ‘YEP’’d. I love reading back on books and seeing who I was back then. What pierced my heart? What shot me into inspiration? What soothed my mind? What jolted me into the right action? What hit so much that I put two exclamations !! beside it?

It’s kinda like the other day when I was clearing out my photos in my phone (I have 90,000 all the way back from 2012— in case you wanted to feel better about your own number). Looking at all of the screenshots of memes I’d saved from say, my super liberal vegan era. Gosh, I could not delete them fast enough. It was a nice walk down memory lane but, wow.

The book I was inexplicably drawn to was this one.

L’art de la Simplicite’. How to live more with less. By Dominique Moreau.

It is stunning.

It’s not just a directive for living more simply, but living more beautifully. I love her direct French style. No fluff. Straight up. Gosh, bring back directness!

I have another one of her books too, about the importance of making lists. Although, you can probably guess that she spells ‘list’ way more French and chic’ like ‘LISTE’. It’s probably what drew me to the books all those years ago— my love for Europe and all the ways Europeans are just cooler.

Now, I have read Marie Kondo and many of those decluttering and minimalism books— I have always been drawn to these philosophies and more so, the freedom and spaciousness they promise. This book though has remained my favourite over the years. Upon reading it again, I’m reminded why.

I cannot get enough of learning about life giving order— in our bodies, our homes and our lives. I love learning from all different cultures about what brings people vitality, peace and aliveness. It’s why I’ve travelled, bought a home in the Italian countryside, made sure to live in England so I can touch those roots.

It’s what inspires me to continue refining the philosophy for beautiful living and eating that I call Body Luxury, and put it into a gorgeous book that you can hold in your hands (in the works!)

Only a few pages in to re-reading this masterpiece of a book, my husband had ordered a skip bin, and half of my wardrobe was on the floor. I am nothing if not fast.

The next day, I spent hours on my pantry. Sweaty, premenstrual hours.
(I wish I took a before and after photo and done one of those ‘tap to clean’ things. Oh the satisfaction).

I didn’t realise how agitating it was for me to look at, until it wasn’t.

This is the thing— we don’t realise how much we are tolerating, how much is irritating us, until we are free of it.

We think we are tired of the things we need to do, but sometimes we are just tired of the amount of volume we are processing visually and mentally just by being in our own homes.

Colours that are too loud.

Stuff that has no right place.

Things that irritate us every time we walk by them.

Things we were given that we do not like, but keep in order to be polite.

Things we don’t use, but we keep ‘just in case’— an attitude which keeps us burdened and stuck.

Clothes that we don’t like, that are made from fabrics that are not natural, that are of styles that are not even our own.

Kids areas that cause too much chaos and stress to keep tidy, that make us more on edge than we need to be.

A general lack of beauty and serenity.

A general tolerance for ‘this will do’.

A general lack of order.

Order and beauty. Let these be gifts that you give to your family this year.

“We cannot be open and receptive if we have not made space first. Do not place material things above human values, above your own hard work and peace of mind, above beauty and freedom, or above living things in general.” ~ Dominique Loreau.

I’ve decluttered many times, as I’m sure you have too. We all get that sense when we have too much stuff. You feel it in your body— burdened, stuffy, unclear. Ugh.

‘Too much’ is a poison that disguises itself as a luxury. I have known the burden of ‘not enough’ and I have also known the burden of excess— both come with complications and I could write a book about it. I have given more than I can count both monetarily and in high value items.

I’m no stranger to big purges, and giving away things I still loved. I remember when I was living in Scottsdale, a land of much excess in parts, giving my sisters all of the designer bags I had because I was just so ‘over’ the stuff.

When we’ve moved or relocated, we’ve often given away every piece of furniture to a family in need or friends.

I love the feeling of recirculating goods— things we don’t need, but would make the world of difference for someone else. I know what it’s like to have very little and it’s in my DNA to always be helpful if I can be.

I am also very sentimental and this can create issues when trying to be a master declutterer. My kids art? Touch it and I’ll shoot you. I have a bag packed of sentimentals in case of fire— in it is all the cards and letters I’ve written my kids over the years (and other people have given to them also), the two rings my nanna gave me from her mother, the indigenous message stick one of my best buds gave me, the small collection of jewellery I own, our important documents, passports and my kids art.

I feel sentimental with clothes in some instances too. Although I have given away most all of my clothes over the years there are some I hold onto so that I can give it to my daughters— it’ll be super cool vintage one day. I wish I had more of my nanna’s clothing. She had a small and modest wardrobe, but I’d loved to have had just one of her dresses.

We all have that level of ‘comfortable decluttering’— this is the kind that we do regularly. We get rid of things that we’re happy to part with, relieved even. But that’s as far as we go. We don’t go to the next layer, and really declutter. We put things in the pile, then take them out, then put them back, then think “oh but what if this comes back in style” and “what if I get invited to….” Or “I should keep this and gift it”.

When we stop at ‘comfortable decluttering’, we’re not changing our ‘set point’, so we just accumulate again and repeat the process in a few months. We have decluttered out of discomfort, to find equilibrium again, because we’ve felt antsy at the amount of ‘stuff’ that is burdening us. But it didn’t change the way we live.

We haven’t yet become convicted enough to really change our ways and to live with the kind of less that brings lasting peace and freedom.

Decluttering should be life changing. Maintaining it, even more so.

We have to care a whole lot more about living a life where we’re not constantly overburdened by stuff.

We have to care a whole lot more about the clarity, peace, serenity and spaciousness that is ours when we live the fine art of enough.

We have to care about that freedom and time we get back when we don’t live in a way where most of our mental energy goes on tending our stuff, tidying our stuff, managing our stuff.

This week I’ve gone beyond my usual level of ‘comfort’ when it comes to ‘less stuff’. And I’ve only really scratched the surface, because I’ve still got more to go.

I don’t know who needs to read this very specific message, but your dream might be to have many homes around the world— make sure you ask your nervous system about this dream too.

It sounds so fun and awesome to have multiple homes, and in many ways, it is. But in most cases, it’s excess. Excess has consequences— even if you have the financial capacity for ‘more and more and more’, that doesn’t mean you are without the mental consequences. More, more, more. It’s exciting but it is tiresome. More to maintain. More to remember. More to tend to. More to care for. More to keep in mind.

There is only so much we can keep in mind.

Some practical things that may help you go beyond ‘comfortable declutter’ and into WHOA I AM LEVITATING declutter:

1. Get a skip.

It might not be called a skip where you are— but it’s one of those mega sized bins that comes to your house. Some might argue that everything is recyclable, and not to use a skip because it’s going to landfill. In an ideal world that would be the case, and if you can avoid it, go for it! If you can reallocate, recirculate, or recycle, everything that needs getting rid of, then Hallelujiah. We keep two big extra recycle bins at our house so that we can always recycle well. But waste is waste and sometimes no matter which way you slice it, some things are for the bin. Holding onto a ‘stuffy’ lifestyle, means you waste more time maintaining it. Time you could be reading with your kids, instead of huffing and puffing around the place, tired of picking things up that have no place to be put down.

By throwing out junk, it inspires you to be less wasteful. Also, holding onto things just because you don’t want to throw them out, means that you’re the one who’s holding onto the waste. it’s just like food— you are not helping hungry children by over-eating and shoving yourself full of waste— you are over burdening yourself. But you could buy and cook less food in the first place.

2. Get yourself in a savage mood.

You’ve gotta rev yourself up to be the right kind of savage for a good declutter. Have a coffee, pep yourself up, and get to work. Get emotional about how heavy it is to be surrounded by stuff and how caring for so much stuff is taking life force, joy and peace from your home. Give yourself a big kick up the bum. Remember how exciting it is to make space for new, to live with less mental burden and to be free of the ‘possession’ of possessions.

3. Know exactly where it’s going, or who to. Less vague donating, more focussed.


One of the things that felt tricky for me in previous decluttering attempts, was that I didn’t have a pile for some things. I typically have a ‘donate’ pile for any goods and a ‘throw’ pile for any junk. But some things don’t fall into either of those piles. Thing is, I don’t usually go to the bother of selling things (call me lazy, I just don’t), so in the past I have held onto things that didn’t seem to have a ‘place to go’. I know I could get onto Depop or similar, but I prefer to give things away. But sometimes, an item doesn’t feel like a giveaway item, nor a throwaway item.

This is one of the traps. We have to find our way around these traps to go to another level of decluttering.

This time, I created a new and small pile of clothes that I would get rid of if I were to sell them. This showed me that I was ready to part with the clothes, but maybe they were very expensive and not worn at all (bad purchase obviously) and so I felt a little wasteful throwing them into the big pile. Still, that is no reason to hold onto them. I decided that this pile would be for giving as a gift to women in my life throughout the year. It got me around that trap, and into that honesty of “I don’t want or need this, I’m holding onto it because I haven’t found a place for it to go.”

A vintage pair of white Levi’s that are gorgeous, but one size too small for me (tags on), a beautiful linen dress that I never wore (didn’t suit my boobs in this breastfeeding season), a super snazzy limited edition flannel set (my youngest sister who’ll love this for her bday), a brand new Sezane white shirt with tags on, some vintage hand bags I bought in Italy for collectors items but never use. These will go to women in my life as gifts.

It feels wasteful and non-intentional to just ‘get rid’ of beautiful items without giving them a proper place to go, and sometimes I think this is what trips us up when we donate. Our donating is too general. We are donating to a very vague charity. Maybe we hold onto some super nice things because we feel maybe a Good Sammy’s store is a bit too impersonal a place for a new *insert label or beautiful material* dress, but that you’d rather give it to a women’s refuge, or a friend, or your sister, or a mum you know. We can overcome this by getting even more personal with our donations:

— A family you know of who really need what you have/have been through a rough trot.

— A women’s refuge.

— A disaster relief.

— Another organisation or group of people dear to you.

— Keeping a few special things tucked away for loved ones birthdays.

— Making a small collection to be stored and given to your kids one day.

It might feel easier to part with your more valued things when you can make it more personal. Many things hold memories, and sentimental value, not to mention monetary. Sending them somewhere ambiguous might feel a little tough.

By the way, it is ok to tell the truth about this. This will help you go another level with clearing out, creating space, and the 198323 benefits that come from that.

I remember when Sol was a baby, and we were moving to London. My midwife Jo told me of a very young couple who were having their first baby, and had nothing. I gave them our new pram, our cot, our high chair, our changing table (because you only buy one of those with your first baby, then you learn!). We set them up with everything they’d need.

I went next level with this declutter because I envisioned where everything was going and who to. It wasn’t just a ‘pile to donate’, it was much more intentional.

I called a women’s refuge close by me, and arranged to drop off a whole bunch of different things and two bags of good quality clothing and shoes. This motivated me even more because I was imagining who was receiving it.

Here is what I also am not doing this round— I’m not giving loads of clothes to my sisters. HA. Hear me out. I have given my sisters loads and loads and loads in many different ways. My youngest sister’s wardrobe is at least 50% my old stuff. But here’s the honest truth. When I see my youngest sister wearing my clothes, styling them all cool, I think to myself ‘dam, should’ve kept that’. That’s not the attitude I want to have as a determined minimalist. It’s stupid I know!!

For the stuff that the women’s refuge did not want, I found another good home for. I got in touch with another woman who takes electronics, like a new hair straightener and bread maker (I am an oven baker only I’ve realised). I took time to allocate things carefully this time— Not that I haven’t in the past, but more so.

I have a friend who is amazing at repurposing old furniture, and she has taken so many things when we’ve decluttered in the past. I love having friends like this, because her and her family froth out on taking tables apart, making doors from them. One time we had an old outdoor lounge in the skip that was badly weather damaged. She texted to say she’d come round to visit, saw it and took it home. I asked her how on earth she would manage to repurpose it. She did! Some (many) people are more handy than I am.

“The price of disorder is a life overburdened with things we wouldn’t miss if they weren’t there: the things we had forgotten all about until we found them at the bottom of the cupboard, in a trunk in the attic. Things that are there in plain sight all the time: they stand alongside things we use every day, but they get in the way.” ~ Dominique Loreau

4. Help the kids learn the beauty of letting go.

It’s one thing to declutter for yourself as an adult, but I find it tricky when the kids have their own (worthy) views about what is sentimental.

My kids are no strangers to letting go. Sol watched as we gave away everything in London to a family. The kids always ask why we don’t still live in the houses where they were born and are quite miffed about it. It’s the downside to the international kind of life we have lived (and are slowing down from).

One thing that my kids hate parting with is their stuffed toys. Perhaps because they’ve moved around a lot, their stuffed toys have come along for the entire journey and are truly special to them. So when we declutter, it’s like pulling teeth trying to get rid of even just one. They all have a name. They remember exactly when and where we got them. I have to find the balance between reallocating some, and respecting that they of course get to have special things too.

My kids are very good at putting their clothes into piles to give to either their cousins, or another kids they know. They’ve got no problem turfing things and giving them away. But there are definitely some things that I dare not touch. I have bundled up things and donated them to the local Lions Shed in the past, only to then see a kid at the playground with one of the stuffy toys. UH OH! I just told them the truth on that occasion, but, I don’t do that anymore that’s for sure.

I’ve seen some decluttering accounts say things like ‘just get rid of the kids things, they won’t even notice!’. I do this too with the little faffy stuff, (especially with their unruly craft table), but not with their stuffed toys. They don’t have a tonne of stuff, if I’m honest. We’ve stayed at airbnbs before where the kids who owned the home, have had rooms full of squishmallows and smiggle gear— I felt like we were minimalist masters after seeing it!

This time, we bundled up about 20 toys. The kids know where they’re going and why. They also know that nothing new comes in if we’re not willing to part with the old. They get it. They also love the feeling of giving. Never underestimate the beauty of children’s hearts. It is one thing that always flaws me as a mum— the generosity and thoughtfulness of these kids hearts.

5. Get stoked about a capsule wardrobe.

Dominique said in her book that “Every woman has made a wrong purchase that spoiled her natural elegance.”

I want you to find freedom in these words. It’s ok. We’ve all bought colours that make us look tired and pale. We’ve all bought styles that looked good on that woman twirling in the reel on Insta, and make us look like a mutton dressed as lamb. Start again.

If you need to, sell the clothes that are not a fit, or are made with polyester and other artificial fabrics and use that money to buy a few good quality items made from natural materials— linen, wool, silk.

I really believe that we flush so much money away by buying too much of things that are ‘so so’— impulsive, emotional, thoughtless. The ol ‘buy once buy well’ is to be lived by where we can. I bought a Moncler jacket on sale in France TEN years ago, and still to this day it is my go to coat for winter. It was one of my best clothing purchases.

Dominique also says many funny and accurate things I agree with like “Unattractive clothes make us want to eat to compensate for our feelings of awkwardness.”

Dominique gives her idea of true and false luxury in the book, and I want to give one too.

True luxury is simplicity, the spaciousness for who and what you love, the correct unburdening of what is not yours, not being possessed by possessions, an orderly home that is beautiful and simple, a capsule wardrobe so that dressing is a simple joy, space for imagination, creativity and contemplation, sturdiness in a world of trends, things you love and nothing else, wool linen and silk, living each moment wholeheartedly.

False luxury is excess, opulence that is tasteless and anxious, too many choices, internal pressure to keep up appearances, too many pursuits, too little contentment, too much to tidy, too much to ‘keep in mind’, possessed by possessions, nothing is ever enough, nice stuff but no time for who and what matters, afraid of losing it all.

Get rid of that coffee table — the one that just collects crap and makes you anxious with your kids. You only have it because ‘people are meant to have coffee tables’. I’ve always thought coffee tables were stupid when you have little kids. Free the lounge room!

Get rid of everything in your home that ‘you’re meant to have’ but don’t love and instead keep only what is beautiful, meaningful or useful. Let the walls be bare until you have art that calms your nervous system— get rid of the stuff that shouts at you every day.

Get rid of the polyester and save for one good cashmere sweater. Get rid of things you tolerate, things that irritate you everyday as a gift to your mind. Once you taste simplicity, order and beauty you won’t ever go back to chaos, disorder and excess.

You know as well as I do how nice it feels to look around your home and see space, order and really love the things you have chosen— not just the things you tolerate (and that irritate you). Your body feels different, like you can breathe, like there is room, like weight has gone. It’s palpable in your physical body because you have let go of matter. Your body knows.

I have a few decisions to make, not about huge things but about directions to go, and I promised myself that I would not make them until I had completely a decluttering that puts all of my other attempts to shame.

Sometimes you want God to slap an answer down in your lap, but what God wants to do is help you to hear— not just today but everyday. God knows that excess is anti-life.

God knows that He never stops speaking, we only become less attuned at hearing.

Free yourself.

Unburden yourself.

Love Pk XX