What if someone needs snacks?

Weekly honey 01. What I'm loving, what I'm reading + more.

Happy new week and welcome to the weekly honey— free to read weekly edition.

The weekly honey is a start-of-the-week hello, little riff from me, finished off with quick fire answers to the following questions at the end:

What I’m loving
What I’m reading
What I’m excited about
What I let go of
What I’m writing this week
What I’m undecided about
The unglamorous bit

then the BEEFY post on the theme of becoming on fire again, doing your most best and honest work and having fun doing it is coming on thursday.

So, happy new week guys!

It was a big weekend for our family. I was POOPED last night.

Our weekends are typically pretty chill— considering how action packed my weekends were as a kid with 38 different sports, I have swung the other way (ish) and made sure there’s plenty of ‘nothing’ space in our weekends.

This weekend we had a birthday party at the trampoline park, the kids tae-kwon-do, a best friend’s wedding in the hills, and my second youngest sister Leigh completed a 50km trail race (also in the hills).

Logistically a juggle but a worthwhile one.

It was a special weekend. Lots to celebrate. Special moments for people close to us.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how nice it is to be ‘home’ for these special moments— how grounding it is to be surrounded by people who have known you your whole life. I’m not just talking family, but friends too.

At my friend’s wedding I chatted for an hour or two with an olddddd friend— I grew up with her brother. We went to school together, played on the same soccer team. Tragically he died when he was 18 in a car accident, along with another school friend. The twenty year anniversary of their passing was the same day as my eldest- Sol’s- 9th birthday. I think about them every year and actually, a lot more than that.

When I saw this beautiful home gal at the wedding, we spoke about those days, who lived in what street, all the friendship dynamics from back then. How she lived in the rich area and I lived in the rougher area, lol. We both know each other’s entire family and our mums would stop and chat at the local shops. You know, those kinds of historical relationships.

Despite not seeing each other in 20 years— there is a history that connects home town people. Even after spreading your wings and living life abroad, there are people at home that you share so much special history with.

Erik’s standing there as me and this friend laugh our heads off — no topics off limits— just understanding each other. He couldn’t believe how easy it was for us to connect after so long without seeing each other. Also Aussie gals can be so rogue. Pure entertainment for my american hubs.

I really value my home town people. The friends who are not social media friends in anyway. The friends I’ll celebrate my birthday with this weekend. The friends, who know my whole family, and vice versa. They know and love my kids and me, theirs. They couldn’t give a hoot what I do work wise, they have known me through every chapter and evolution— they are the ride or dies.

Coming ‘home’ feels like coming back to the womb in many ways. It’s the comfortable origin, the place of familiarity. It’s not always the place of expansion but I don’t expect it to be.

I know I won’t be ‘home’ forever.

I used to grieve this while I was here. I’d watch my kids play with their cousins and sit there with so much joy and also so much grief knowing that dam, I love this so much while also feeling my soul be like ‘you gotta spread your wings again my girl’.

After living all around the world and coming home for big stints — I have learned to soak it in rather than worry about a day that is still to come.

My brother arrives this week ahead of my mum’s 70th birthday. The kids are so excited. Figgy said ‘I’m going to give Uncle Benne the biggest hug ever but he cannot take me home! (To Bali)’

My big kids are pumped to wrestle him and to show him their new Tae Kwon Do moves.

I turn 38 this weekend, and my mum turns 70 two days later. Yes I was her lion gate bday pressie 38 years ago.

Mum is celebrating her birthday not by having a huge party (we will have a family lunch- she said she doesn’t like enough people to have a big party, LOL) but by competing in her second Hyrox competition!!

Yes. Mum is smashing a Hyrox competition 10 days after turning 70. It’s her second one. Last year she came second in her age group.

This year she is doing it with my sister Leigh (the sister who just ran a 50km trail run yesterday) and they’re hoping to place again. I have ZERO doubt that they will.

70 years old. Smashing Hyrox competitions. This is the family I come from.

My youngest sister Sian had her first MMA fight the other week— lost only slightly.

My second youngest sister Leigh finished a 50km ultra marathon trail run yesterday and is now gearing up for Hyrox in a couple of weeks.

And me? Well, I workout 4 x a week, bounce on my rebounder and walk in the sun often. My marathon is the 10 years of pregnancy/breastfeeding on demand/cosleeping alright?

Never in my life as the eldest daughter, have I felt as lazy as I do right now amongst my mum and siblings VERY EXTRA sporting events.

But gosh I love watching events like trail runs. There is something so uplifting about these community endurance events. It did made me miss cross country running. I loved those days of running in the rain through the bush in a cross country race and then a week later, finding huge tics in my head while playing netball.

I do whole heartedly recommend going to watch a community endurance event though— it is good for the soul and the human spirit. The last big one I competed in was 2016 when Erik and I did the half marathon in Eugene, Oregon. I’ll never forget how epic the support was and how fun it was just being amongst that glorious-turned-all-the-way-up human spirit.

We were there for hours yesterday so we cheered for so many people coming in and honestly if it wasn’t for us, the cheering would’ve been so average. We really made sure the runners got a good welcome home. I was nervous to leave the event cos I realised those who hadn’t finished would not get the A+ level cheering that we were providing. Who would cheer for them like we were?!

Truly though, it was really special watching my sister come in at the end of her race, tears running down her face. She text me at 40kms and said ‘battling’. I wanted so much to run up the trail and find her, give her some lollies and run beside her the rest of the way but my younger sister told me that was a terrible idea. The oldest and youngest sisters are so different. HA!

I knew (at least part of) the motivators for my sister doing this run, and how important her training is for her mental health. So watching her come in after almost 7 hours of running, in tears, her whole family and her friends cheering… man it was so special.

Not even 60 seconds after finishing the race she saw that I was wearing my Salomon trail shoes and had a laugh ‘You came prepared too doll?!’.

Even after 7 hours of running up hills on harsh terrain she still has the energy to make fun of me— I’d expect nothing less!!

I told her yes I wore them in case she or anyone else needed help on the trail and I could leg it up there, fully equipped with the right shoes. this was true. I wore them in case I needed to go up the trail.

What if someone needed snacks?
What if someone needed rescuing?

That is the soundtrack inside the mind of the eldest daughter. It’s comical and also isn’t.

I did in fact feed the volunteer ambulance workers at the event. Sorry, but why had nobody else offered them a donut from the (healthier version of a) donut truck?

OF COURSE I am going to buy them donuts.

They were chuffed. And we got chatting about how much they love working trail events compared to regular running events because everyone is so happy and chill. Nature, man. It’s one helluva drug.

Notes from the weekend in short:

— Drive the distance to support your friends and family in special moments, like completing a perhaps once-in-a-lifetime ultra marathon that you know meant a lot to them on a deep level.

— Home towns can be a place of comfort, familiarity, grounding without needing to be your expansive place. Let each place be what it is.

— Friends’ weddings. I didn’t go into this in this post but I’d like to leave a note on it anyway: We’re not just there to celebrate and dance. We’re there to witness their vows. We’re there so that when they go through hard times we can remind them of that day and what we witnessed. Too many married friends confide in people who don’t value marriage. We are witnesses, not just wedding guests.

— Eldest daughters (and those identifying lol) can do the absolute most and still never feel like they’re doing enough. If this is you, I see you. You can have high standards without having impossible ones.

Now for the Weekly honey:

What I’m loving:

Getting as much winter sun as possible on as much of my skin as possible. Should I write a whole piece about how life-giving it is for women to sun their boobs? I might have to. As someone who had chronic mastitis for a long time, I have a LOT to say about the boobs. Start with 5 mins a day, bare boobs in the sun. Obviously you don’t want to overdo it. It’s a battery charger. It changes the tissues. It can positively affect milk supply (I haven’t needed this but it’s good to know if you do!!).

Think about the most pure, powerful red light machine on your tatas but it’s the sun.

What I’m reading:

I am always in a rotation— several books beside the bed and pick one each night kinda vibe.

— I have James Herriot beside my bed always. Just love how wholesome he is, and reading about a Yorkshire vet back in the 70s. So nourishing when you want to be taken back in time. It’s a major comfort read for me (all of his books!!).

— I’ll read a few pages of Neville Goddard every few days. I read the entire volume at once last year and I really believe you can read and ponder just one a sentence at a time because it is so rich and deep.

— Just re-opened The Essene Gospel of Peace because last time I read it I was in a different place. Love seeing what I highlighted years ago!

— I just ordered: Dumbing Us Down. John Taylor Gatto.

What I’m excited about:

Our next chapter as a family. Behind the scenes we are getting clearer and clearer on what we wholeheartedly want family life to be like, especially as kids get older. You may know that I am obsessed with the topic of how environments shape us, and I have been acutely observing how our current environment shapes us and the things I do/don’t love about it. I have written about this a lot in these pages but shall we dig in again? gosh i could chin wag about this all day.

We have been very rooted the last few years and conservative with decisions after living in USA, UK, Italy and Aus.

(Yes, we still have the Italy house— it’s being rented long term).

What I let go of:

Trying to avoid disappointing others. Sometimes living in personal integrity requires that you will. For some of us who grew up incredibly attuned to others’ emotions, this can still be very hard at times.

What I’m writing this week:

I am finishing off a piece that is probably my most requested ever— What it really took to build to 8 figs (in profit) in my 20s— an insight into my money mindset back then, work ethic, habits, what moved the needle the most and the advice I would still give now at 38.

I’m giving the people what they want!!

I’m about half way done and expect to publish on Thursday Aussie time.

Note, this will be for paid subbies so if you want full access, upgrade!

Price goes up on Wednesday for good so its a great time to get in at the lower price.

Substack is a very low cost, low effort offering. A great, simple way to go deeper with your fav creators without all the faff of new apps, logins etc.

The unglamorous bit:

One of the things I’m working on is to not let my mood influence my work as much as it can. I’m going to be writing about this actually— how being too ‘moody’ with your work slows all momentum. I’m writing this FOR ME as much as I am for you. Stay tuned.

Another unglamorous bit? I’ve had a bit of ‘cooking dinner fatigue’ lately. Yes I love providing wholesome meals for my family each night but also, wow we do it every single night. You know? We have Grill’d (burgers on uber eats) once a week and I would be straight up lying to you if i didn’t say I loved that night. I love cooking, I also love a night off or two. NO APOLOGIES.

You guys interested in my regular dinners on rotation? What are yours? Inspire me!

Here’s to a week of your most honest, exciting work that is life giving for you and all who touch it. Most importantly? May your home life flourish, may your kids get lots of sunlight and may you look up on a random 3pm arvo and say ‘I’m living my dream’.

My wish for you this week is that you can say the thing that is keeping the knot in your chest. Say it imperfectly but with the honesty and purity of a waterfall.

May you get your b00bs in the sun for at least 5 mins a day.

May you post the thing you have had drafted because it is a little edgy and may you find your people when you do.

I hope this week you lovingly admit that tiny little niggly thing that’s out of integrity so you can feel even more yourself as a woman and a mumma.

This week I hope you honour your mood but don’t let it rule your entire creative life because it keeps slowing your momentum when you do.

You can be on fire again without burning down. May you find the sweetest spot ever with your dreamy creative work and your flourishing home and those in it.

most importantly, i hope you can really soak in these golden days— without the urgency of the internet taking over. Your creative life gets to be as calm as it is exciting.

Your best work doesn’t need to be frantic. It can be as fun as it is smooth.

Lotsa love,

PK XXX