Really resonated with your honest words re:anxiety and how it manifests in how you use/monitor your use of social media. I find myself doing this too, albeit on a micro scale where my instagram is a private account with about 150 or so followers of family, friends and acquaintances. For me it’s the fear of judgement, of not being accepted. I’m also noticing this seep through into my real life, daily interactions where I’m questioning whether I’m censoring myself and limiting my self expression for fear of being rejected or if it’s because I don’t care?
Can really relate to this, and I’m thinking of going private with my account for this reason— but I am so much more afraid of the judgement of people who know me than strangers.
I love reading all your emails and posts and grateful for you and your expression. I started following you moons ago when Ash introduced me 😢
I’m also sometimes mortified of expressing myself at times and I can’t seem to ‘work out’ why. I want to let go but find so many good reasons why I should not. As soon as I don’t get the response I wanted or was expecting, I stop. One day…I’m sure I’ll work it out in one of these lifetimes…xx
Aw, my heart skipped when you wrote Ash. I think of her every single day. She was so generous with her connecting people. We’ll get there— Little bit by little bit hey? Xx
Hi Peta, wow thank you for this. I usually tell myself to not look at the phone in the morning. After my morning prayer I saw your email. And your writing for me is something that nourishes my soul. The realness, God in the process, the struggle and the living without filters and saying it as it is. I do believe the disconnect from social media to connect with real life matters. It matters so so much. After all, our real life is here offline, although most of us forget and we put our whole attention online and the “life” we’re portraying there. I appreciate you and admire you! Love from Ecuador!
This is such a beautiful post, start to finish. I had so many thoughts pop up throughout reading, but all I can really say is... beautiful, and thank you <3
What a yummy post. I’ve been realising recently how much of my creativity is rooted in anxiety. It doesn’t make it wrong exactly, but it’s interesting to note how my creativity is often inspired by the need to belong or to feel safe. We like to put creativity at the top of the pyramid of needs but for me and I suspect you, it’s fundamental. Like books. Please keep publishing real things. Lots of love, Aoife
What a beautiful, thoughtful post! Yes, in this world of tech and AI we must be vigilant to not let ourselves be lost and art forgotten. Thank you, for the reminder!
I have a note on the table in my room where I enjoy my morning coffee and pray and talk to Soirit about whatever might be on my mind. I wrote the note and I read it to myself each morning after I light a candle, burn some pine, and say some prayers. Part of it says “The divine expresses itself through me... my contribution is an offering.” I too have a tendency to overthink what I share on social media... questioning how others will perceive and project. But the quote helps to ground me back into truth. And if I pause before I post and ask myself if what I am sharing feels good enough to offer to Spirit then it is certainly good enough for IG. xoxo
This was a timely and beautiful read. My life path of new age spirituality - reclaiming god as the creator has paralleled yours over the years in a very comforting way. As you started shifting my spidey senses picked up on little things you would write and it would give me the courage to accept the changes I was facing in my own perspective. It’s such an interesting journey. Thank you for always honestly speaking your truth and sharing it with the world. I know it’s not easy bc there are so many crazies online. Putting your words out there leaves you vulnerable to their psychosis and abuse… it’s not for the faint of heart. But I want you to know for every crazy comment there are likely a thousand souls like myself that were quietly touched by your words, whose hearts were given healing salve from your brave shares. So thank you for continuing to create art for the sake of creating and thank you for sharing it with the world because it has truly meant so much to me when you do. On another note I’m currently reading the artists way and doing the workbook. It’s been a rich and rewarding experience if you haven’t done it already I encourage you to check it out! I too am a lover of books, they are one of my most cherished belongings. So I hope you find it in you to publish another, I would love to own it and it to my precious book family! Lastly I have been avoiding sourdough making even though it is literally one of my favorite foods - since I was a child. So I’m taking your post as a sign that it’s time for me to surrender and finally give it a shot. Wish me luck and let me know if you have any tips!! Sending you love dear stranger / friend ♥️
There's something truly magical about making sourdough at home. The slow, days-long process for a loaf of bread is a wonderful parallel to the slow, long form approach to creativity that feels so hard to reach in today's fast paced world of instagram and tik tok reels.
I find that the kind of creative expression I yearn for is the type where I don't want to be interrupted which feels near impossible with a toddler and a newborn. I don't want to go to the effort of setting up paints and canvas only to be pulled out of the zone before I've had a chance to do anything. Sometimes it feels easier to just not even try, but maybe like you that's an excuse that anxiety hides behind.
Absolutely. Ah, it’s so true. Sometimes too when in the thick of early motherhood, the home/our running of it is our primary place of creativity, and then we catch little opportunities to write or paint in the gaps. The lengthy hours for uninterrupted creativity will return, but for now it’s just not that season. I get it all too well. In writing this piece alone I stopped to feed, make snacks, tend to big tears. I almost didn’t publish it because it felt so scraggly but that’s also part of this season. Feel you! X
As a brand new mom, navigating breastfeeding, contact naps, and slowly understanding what new shapes my creativity will take in this season— thank you for publishing this!
Your work is amazing! I've been a big fan over on IG for a long time, and so happy to have found your substack. Also have committed to learning Italian this year! Do you have recommendations for lesson/learning tools and resources you are enjoying?
Really resonated with your honest words re:anxiety and how it manifests in how you use/monitor your use of social media. I find myself doing this too, albeit on a micro scale where my instagram is a private account with about 150 or so followers of family, friends and acquaintances. For me it’s the fear of judgement, of not being accepted. I’m also noticing this seep through into my real life, daily interactions where I’m questioning whether I’m censoring myself and limiting my self expression for fear of being rejected or if it’s because I don’t care?
Hmmm I hear you. Sometimes it’s also wisdom— we’ve learned the time and place for saying certain things. Not black and white is it!
Can really relate to this, and I’m thinking of going private with my account for this reason— but I am so much more afraid of the judgement of people who know me than strangers.
I love reading all your emails and posts and grateful for you and your expression. I started following you moons ago when Ash introduced me 😢
I’m also sometimes mortified of expressing myself at times and I can’t seem to ‘work out’ why. I want to let go but find so many good reasons why I should not. As soon as I don’t get the response I wanted or was expecting, I stop. One day…I’m sure I’ll work it out in one of these lifetimes…xx
Aw, my heart skipped when you wrote Ash. I think of her every single day. She was so generous with her connecting people. We’ll get there— Little bit by little bit hey? Xx
The last paragraph 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I couldn’t agree more. Loved every word
RELATABLE! Love this so much.
Thank you for sharing Peta 💕
' 8234 ' I love the specificity of this number.
Thank- you for being you, Peta Kelly. ❥
Xox
Love every single word ❤️🌸
Thank you for sharing this!!
Hi Peta, wow thank you for this. I usually tell myself to not look at the phone in the morning. After my morning prayer I saw your email. And your writing for me is something that nourishes my soul. The realness, God in the process, the struggle and the living without filters and saying it as it is. I do believe the disconnect from social media to connect with real life matters. It matters so so much. After all, our real life is here offline, although most of us forget and we put our whole attention online and the “life” we’re portraying there. I appreciate you and admire you! Love from Ecuador!
Gaby C. 🩵
Amen sister xx
This is such a beautiful post, start to finish. I had so many thoughts pop up throughout reading, but all I can really say is... beautiful, and thank you <3
Pleasure :)
What a yummy post. I’ve been realising recently how much of my creativity is rooted in anxiety. It doesn’t make it wrong exactly, but it’s interesting to note how my creativity is often inspired by the need to belong or to feel safe. We like to put creativity at the top of the pyramid of needs but for me and I suspect you, it’s fundamental. Like books. Please keep publishing real things. Lots of love, Aoife
Absolutely. Thank you for the encouragement beauty x
What a beautiful, thoughtful post! Yes, in this world of tech and AI we must be vigilant to not let ourselves be lost and art forgotten. Thank you, for the reminder!
I love this, I love you x
❤️❤️❤️
I have a note on the table in my room where I enjoy my morning coffee and pray and talk to Soirit about whatever might be on my mind. I wrote the note and I read it to myself each morning after I light a candle, burn some pine, and say some prayers. Part of it says “The divine expresses itself through me... my contribution is an offering.” I too have a tendency to overthink what I share on social media... questioning how others will perceive and project. But the quote helps to ground me back into truth. And if I pause before I post and ask myself if what I am sharing feels good enough to offer to Spirit then it is certainly good enough for IG. xoxo
This is beautiful. Thank you !Xx
This was a timely and beautiful read. My life path of new age spirituality - reclaiming god as the creator has paralleled yours over the years in a very comforting way. As you started shifting my spidey senses picked up on little things you would write and it would give me the courage to accept the changes I was facing in my own perspective. It’s such an interesting journey. Thank you for always honestly speaking your truth and sharing it with the world. I know it’s not easy bc there are so many crazies online. Putting your words out there leaves you vulnerable to their psychosis and abuse… it’s not for the faint of heart. But I want you to know for every crazy comment there are likely a thousand souls like myself that were quietly touched by your words, whose hearts were given healing salve from your brave shares. So thank you for continuing to create art for the sake of creating and thank you for sharing it with the world because it has truly meant so much to me when you do. On another note I’m currently reading the artists way and doing the workbook. It’s been a rich and rewarding experience if you haven’t done it already I encourage you to check it out! I too am a lover of books, they are one of my most cherished belongings. So I hope you find it in you to publish another, I would love to own it and it to my precious book family! Lastly I have been avoiding sourdough making even though it is literally one of my favorite foods - since I was a child. So I’m taking your post as a sign that it’s time for me to surrender and finally give it a shot. Wish me luck and let me know if you have any tips!! Sending you love dear stranger / friend ♥️
There's something truly magical about making sourdough at home. The slow, days-long process for a loaf of bread is a wonderful parallel to the slow, long form approach to creativity that feels so hard to reach in today's fast paced world of instagram and tik tok reels.
I find that the kind of creative expression I yearn for is the type where I don't want to be interrupted which feels near impossible with a toddler and a newborn. I don't want to go to the effort of setting up paints and canvas only to be pulled out of the zone before I've had a chance to do anything. Sometimes it feels easier to just not even try, but maybe like you that's an excuse that anxiety hides behind.
Absolutely. Ah, it’s so true. Sometimes too when in the thick of early motherhood, the home/our running of it is our primary place of creativity, and then we catch little opportunities to write or paint in the gaps. The lengthy hours for uninterrupted creativity will return, but for now it’s just not that season. I get it all too well. In writing this piece alone I stopped to feed, make snacks, tend to big tears. I almost didn’t publish it because it felt so scraggly but that’s also part of this season. Feel you! X
As a brand new mom, navigating breastfeeding, contact naps, and slowly understanding what new shapes my creativity will take in this season— thank you for publishing this!
Your work is amazing! I've been a big fan over on IG for a long time, and so happy to have found your substack. Also have committed to learning Italian this year! Do you have recommendations for lesson/learning tools and resources you are enjoying?