Oh yeah. And imagine being okay with “ I moved and it sucked” and not to feel any shame about it. Just writing that pains me. Correctness is definitely and idol over here 🙋🏻♀️
Whenever your posts come through, I make a little date with myself to read them. Some people wait for the next episode on Netflix, and I wait for the Honeycomb. It’s honestly the coziest experience — comfy clothes, peaceful vibes, natural light flooding in, the perfect cup of tea, and my phone on silent. Thank you, as always, for your rich and thoughtful words.
“I have a lot that I need to ‘get over’, to really obey this simple call.” Ooooffff I shared something eerily similar recently. And — that I’m almost over it. Almost. It definitely took unhooking from so much of it. No longer picking up content or routines that abided to “the way that works”. Setting down the ideal of it all — to be “aligned”. Actually, aliveness is alignment. Following the clear word beyond my own ideals led me there (always). This part is brilliant inquiry — "But again, I am asking myself— “Is this my stuff? Is this Idealism? Is my sense of integrity actually working over time tricking me into thinking that I can’t go where God wants me to go without ‘losing myself?”
Read every single word between sips of coffee this morning—gosh I love reading your stuff.
And amongst the bits of genius and the occasional “toot toot” (expert choice of writing, by the way) “We want clarity because we want to be able to say ‘but God called me there’ rather than ‘I chose to go’.” Might just have hit the hardest.
So good, Peta. And yes: As much as we'd love to have everything in a nice neat "Here's the checklist — God", we just won't. It's not in God's nature to give us silver platters or silver linings; He would be reduced to a genie in a bottle. I admire your surrender to the flow of the spirit here! We really are always going to be initiated into surrendering the idol of "needing to be correct." Always.
Wrestling with faith so much right now. And often realising how much faith really feels like patience. And boy does that not grow so naturally on my tree. 🙃 Timely as always, PK. Thankyou for the constant reminder to personalise our faith and forever move toward what feels right and true.
I’ve had a guarded relationship with god, and my faith for almost a decade. Prayers have been a handful a year, and always for others. Yet, it’s been about 8-10 months & I’m noticing a ‘coming home is happening…maybe it’s the perimenopause, maybe it’s those couple moments of full embodied surrender. Idk. There was a young death of a good man in April. A godly driven husband, a father of 3 wonderful children, a respected and very beautiful man that happened. It shook my back home community. His wife & I having intimate talks while at UC Davis, and me praying with her because she asked me too. It wasn’t the outcome any of wanted. But it shook my faith tree enough to keep the door of hope open….my eyes water anytime I pray, or write the word god’ like I am here. Reading your writings and how you weave god’ and scriptures into it makes my eyes water that form tears. Again, idk. I just know I’ve been spiritually tired-a rock bottom of sorts-for a for a long time; the synchronicities between my job, home, and human connections these past several months are too loud for me to ignore. Im worthy of his time, his prayer, his forgiveness. I don’t have to carry the emotional load I think I do. That can be hard for a woman, like me. 💛
It’s Monday morning and you were my first email read before I head to St. Paul’s for work. (yup, you guessed it, one of those synchronicity’s)
This is so beautiful Shannon and I really get how you can feel not worthy of God's love-- I've felt that too. Does he really care about me? Is it really that personal? Am I just making it all up? It can get sneaky. But, we know. The love is too big to ignore. May God continue to lay the path and may you lay down your burdens again and again and again (it's a practice). XXXX
knowing that a change is coming but not knowing what it is resonates so deeply!
Oh the patience! XX
Oh yeah. And imagine being okay with “ I moved and it sucked” and not to feel any shame about it. Just writing that pains me. Correctness is definitely and idol over here 🙋🏻♀️
Yep those are the things we need to come to peace with. All decisions require deaths and some kinda pain (maybe!) . Xxx
Whenever your posts come through, I make a little date with myself to read them. Some people wait for the next episode on Netflix, and I wait for the Honeycomb. It’s honestly the coziest experience — comfy clothes, peaceful vibes, natural light flooding in, the perfect cup of tea, and my phone on silent. Thank you, as always, for your rich and thoughtful words.
I love this Jennifer, thank you for really reading and enjoying. Makes it worth it. Xx
“I have a lot that I need to ‘get over’, to really obey this simple call.” Ooooffff I shared something eerily similar recently. And — that I’m almost over it. Almost. It definitely took unhooking from so much of it. No longer picking up content or routines that abided to “the way that works”. Setting down the ideal of it all — to be “aligned”. Actually, aliveness is alignment. Following the clear word beyond my own ideals led me there (always). This part is brilliant inquiry — "But again, I am asking myself— “Is this my stuff? Is this Idealism? Is my sense of integrity actually working over time tricking me into thinking that I can’t go where God wants me to go without ‘losing myself?”
Love this Emily. When did we learn to downplay aliveness, you know? Xx
Read every single word between sips of coffee this morning—gosh I love reading your stuff.
And amongst the bits of genius and the occasional “toot toot” (expert choice of writing, by the way) “We want clarity because we want to be able to say ‘but God called me there’ rather than ‘I chose to go’.” Might just have hit the hardest.
Xx Also, loveeee Martine ❤️
Thank you Sarah !! Xx
So good, Peta. And yes: As much as we'd love to have everything in a nice neat "Here's the checklist — God", we just won't. It's not in God's nature to give us silver platters or silver linings; He would be reduced to a genie in a bottle. I admire your surrender to the flow of the spirit here! We really are always going to be initiated into surrendering the idol of "needing to be correct." Always.
Love to you amazing woman xx
Another share that hits all of the heart strings.
Grateful for the reminders per usual Peta! xx
Pleasure, Elise! X
Wrestling with faith so much right now. And often realising how much faith really feels like patience. And boy does that not grow so naturally on my tree. 🙃 Timely as always, PK. Thankyou for the constant reminder to personalise our faith and forever move toward what feels right and true.
Working on that patience virtue with you xxx
I’ve had a guarded relationship with god, and my faith for almost a decade. Prayers have been a handful a year, and always for others. Yet, it’s been about 8-10 months & I’m noticing a ‘coming home is happening…maybe it’s the perimenopause, maybe it’s those couple moments of full embodied surrender. Idk. There was a young death of a good man in April. A godly driven husband, a father of 3 wonderful children, a respected and very beautiful man that happened. It shook my back home community. His wife & I having intimate talks while at UC Davis, and me praying with her because she asked me too. It wasn’t the outcome any of wanted. But it shook my faith tree enough to keep the door of hope open….my eyes water anytime I pray, or write the word god’ like I am here. Reading your writings and how you weave god’ and scriptures into it makes my eyes water that form tears. Again, idk. I just know I’ve been spiritually tired-a rock bottom of sorts-for a for a long time; the synchronicities between my job, home, and human connections these past several months are too loud for me to ignore. Im worthy of his time, his prayer, his forgiveness. I don’t have to carry the emotional load I think I do. That can be hard for a woman, like me. 💛
It’s Monday morning and you were my first email read before I head to St. Paul’s for work. (yup, you guessed it, one of those synchronicity’s)
This is so beautiful Shannon and I really get how you can feel not worthy of God's love-- I've felt that too. Does he really care about me? Is it really that personal? Am I just making it all up? It can get sneaky. But, we know. The love is too big to ignore. May God continue to lay the path and may you lay down your burdens again and again and again (it's a practice). XXXX