When I celebrate my body...
When I celebrate my body
my radiance
my clearness
I’m not celebrating skinny-ness.
I’m celebrating something so unspeakably precious and private
that no one on this earth could ever claim to have been a spectator.
When I celebrate my body,
I celebrate that I
have felt and freed things
that have for so long felt impossible to feel.
I am celebrating
the relationship between myself and myself
between myself and the young girl that sat on the public bus everyday
scared shitless
as fights broke out on top of her
the girl who sprinted home from the bus stop
down the alley
looking over her shoulder
the little scrawny girl
who learned to run
and run fast
the girl who became a woman who felt safe
perpetually preparing
for shit to hit the fan.
The girl who became a woman
so hypervigilant
that it slowly bled her life force
her attention
stole her peace.
When I celebrate my body, my radiance
I am celebrating that in this moment
I have collected a part of me that
I’d left behind
listened to her.
witnessed her.
believed her.
And each time it isn’t easy
No. God no.
But each time I go back
and get more of me
each time I tell the truth
more fully
my body changes
so when I celebrate my body
I’m celebrating feeling something
I haven’t for so
long been able to feel
I’m celebrating telling
the truth to myself
even when it felt like knives
I’m celebrating my liver,
for gracefully holding
onto emotions
that I wasn’t ready for, just yet
my womb and my boobs for all
they’ve done to create and nurture my children’s lives…
My adrenals, god those legends
My digestive system for
lovingly showing me the
parts of my life I haven’t digested.
There is so much said
about the dangerous beauty standards
and so little said about the real
dangers of a woman living
her whole life from the neck up
and so little said
of the beauty
and energy
and radiance that comes
when a woman
decides
With every organ
With every feeling
With every hurt
With every desire
With every knowing
that she will whole heartedly
join her own team
and this… this will be the new beauty standard.
A woman on her own team.
Antidote 3 coming Nov 2022 (tix this week!)
Body Luxury 2 coming 2023.
Love this PK ❤️ beautifully written, deeply felt x
I waiver between listening to my soul and being guided purely by her, and understanding what is programming that is that noise that pretends to be my soul.
A part of me still wants my body to look perfect for the world so I can look more "spiritually aligned." I know there's this myth about what the perfect spiritual body looks like and yet I still want to look that way.
The struggle is daily and it is real. In so many other ways I feel like a badass in my life and business, yet when it comes to my body and eating, things are still very much like I'm a child.
The crazy thing is that I studied wholistic physiology, mindful eating, all sorts of diets, I was a intermittent fasting goddess, a pescatarian of 20 years this December and that piece feels very aligned. I have no interest in eating meat ever again. Yet, MY BODY, my body needs me to listen with even more clarity. Sorting out the noise from my soul is my biggest task. I'm ready.