It will be an interesting week of writing for me— My left wrist is bandaged up and sore, so sore… but I can move my fingers!
On the weekend, I went riding with my youngest, Figgy on the back of our 3 seater electric bike. When I stood to wait to cross the road, the heavy bike tipped. It really is such a HEAVY bike— Three seats with a solid toddler on the back end. I caught the entire bike with my left hand to cushion the fall for figgy (which I did, hallelujiah, she was totally fine).
But ouchy for my left hand and wrist.
I’ve broken this wrist before, when I was 13 playing netball. I was taken to the first aid tent where they assessed me and told me it couldn’t be broken because I could move it. Later that night, it was hurting bad, so mum took me in and as I suspected, it was broken in two places. I remember my brother saying to me as we left for the hospital— “It better be broken with all the whinging you’ve been doing!”. I was glad to return to the house with a cast and validation.
But then, after 5 weeks in a full arm cast, the doctor took it off, only to tell me they’d set it wrong. So, lucky me had to have double the cast time. My wrist has always felt a teeny but munted after that— I can’t pull my fingers back as far as my right one. But, it’s never stopped me doing anything.
My husband made me an ice bath to dunk it in, which was SO painful my gosh. My pain threshold is so high. I barely made a peep during my three home births. But when it comes to cold? I am a total wimp.
I am actually a little suss on ice treatment because if the body is trying to send blood to the injured area, why are we trying to do the opposite with ice?
Anyway all that to say my typing pace is slower but I have a ripper of a post lined up for Thursday and I am chomping to finish it…. So onwards we go.
Something I’ve been thinking about a lot this week (aside from Mt Everest because how come I’m so obsessed?) is what it really means to be on fire again.
So many millennials are in a ‘pivot’ right now. I call it a pivot, but is it really? Is it that we took the long road home and now we’re finally pulling into the driveway?
Are you noticing it too? As millennials approach 40, they (we!) are making really good, life giving changes to not just their ‘work’ but their whole lives, including where they live and how they live.
They’re wanting to right the wrongs of the last decade with regards to where they’re out of alignment. I read something about 39 being the average age for a pivot.
It makes sense right? The 20’s are about trial and error, The 30’s, I sense are full of a lot of ‘shoulds’. We become parents (or not yet), we perhaps come back to the home town after years of living abroad, we realise that what we were working on maybe isn’t it anymore, we realise that dam, we’re almost 40, have I been cruising? Is this life really my own?
I also believe something happens as our kids grow, and we gain in our personal capacity— we have the energy to really change beyond our cozy comfort zone.
When I say that millennials are on fire again, I don’t mean that frantic, over caffeinated, impulsive, unsustainable ‘fire’ that is channelled towards our phones and our online image.
You know what I’m talking about and this is not what I mean.
When I talk about being ‘on fire again’, is this:
Making sure our lives are our own.
We want to feel on fire again, but not like in 2016.
We have children now. We’re grown. It has to be all new.
You know what I wanna feel when I say I want to feel on fire again?
That I am living focussed only on what really matters to me.
All those tentacle like distractions that held importance in other seasons? Gone.
Every night when my head hits the pillow I know I used those 24 hours in a way I’m proud of.. rarely getting dragged under by tides that are not mine.
That I can look around my life and say yes, this is mine. These are my choices. This is the life that i’ll look back on when I’m 70 and have no regrets. I want to live in an even crisper sense of personal integrity in this way.
Radical self responsibility instead of endless drama and never ending healing.
Relaxed, embodied vitality instead of performative wellness theatre.
Direct, loving and honest instead of spineless, agreeable and ‘nice’.
Precise, focussed, low screen time instead of scrolling disguised as work.
High personal agency, so we don’t resent everyone around us for not compensating
Doing the honest, hard thing instead of the safe, comforting thing.
It’s living where it is right for your family, not where it’s right on paper.
Telling the truth about what we believe now rather than performing an identity that’s done.
Lower screen time. Yes, way lower, but way more precise. More honest. More focussed. More elegant.
It means doing what I know I need to do regardless of how hard, or brave— not making every choice about safety and avoiding what I fear.
It’s simplifying— all those clothes that still remain in my wardrobe even after 15 clean outs? Never worn? Representing an identity that isn’t me anymore? Symbolic of all I am clinging to that won’t allow me to go forward? All the stuff I keep because it’s too good to donate but I can’t be bothered selling? The ‘stuck’ stuff? Time to move it on.
Leading as the mother on a whole new level, in a whole new sense of embodiment— remembering always that the children swim in the waters of the parents, especially the mother in early years and that the dynamic of the family matters more than any of the ‘good on paper’ stuff like good school, or alternative school, or hybrid homeschool coop. The family dynamic matters the most for a childs wellbeing.
Our well-being signals safety for our children. This is why so many millennial mothers are pivoting— new homes, new dynamics, new commitment to vitality, new boundaries, untangling from family drama and entering into all new sovereignty as a family….
You can live a life that looks good on paper but you will know the truth by how your home is. (More to come on this. Could go all day).
What we’re all chomping for is to be doing the pure, honest work of our souls… the natural work.. the joyful work… the meaningful work…. Not ruled by moods, or feelings but work that feels as natural as breathing. Delegating appropriately. Not doing things others way. Taking back full reigns of creative territory. Watch my class if you wanna go deep on this.
You see?
When I say that we are on fire again…
I’m not talking about becoming On FiRe and going viral and being up at 11pm smashing away at the keyboard….
I’m talking about a life that is completely your own… that is right for your family.. a creative life that supports your home, and a vital life for all within your territory.
This may mean a pivot.
It may just mean pruning.
Not just your creative life— your whole life.
Like, do you wanna scrap coaching and become a mountaineer you know?
I LIVE FOR THESE PIVOTS…. the ones where grab life by the balls and move faithfully towards what we know is the truest life.
In essence, this publication is all about ushering you towards a life— creative, home, body and a life in your mind that feels like it is your own. It is sovereign. It is excellent. It is beautiful. It is life giving for you and your children who are sustained by your wellbeing. It is not persuaded by the tides of culture or by the many temptations of life in this time. It is rich. It is holy. It is natural. It is vital. It is embodied.
I wanted to clarify that because I do not want us frantic. I want us breathing deeply. Soaking it in. As peaceful as we are invigorated.
So this weeks honey:
What I’m loving:
Walking. No phone, no audio book/podcast in my ears. I won’t be working out for a couple of weeks (because of my hand/wrist) so it’s all about that walking life now. My kids and I go for a scoot to get the morning sun, and then I had out for a morning walk. It feels really good to just simplify my movement to walking for now.
Meat stock. I put some lamb in the crockpot and it’s slow cooking in the oven. My kids have had a super good winter, but Sol is a touch under the weather/in a healing phase and so boosting them all with some meat stock. My good friend Dr Jen Floreani (she wrote ‘How to have well adjusted babies’), got me onto meat stock Vs bone broth a while back. Super rich in nutrients and less likely to create a histamine reaction.
What I’m reading:
I finished three mountain books last week, and ordered three more. I am obsessed. No new books this week, although one I want to mention that I spied on my shelf was:
Excellence Wins, by Horst Schulze.
He’s the co-founder of The Ritz Carlton . It talks about his approach to excellence and company culture. I LOVE this stuff. I finished it win 24 hours. Made me want to start a boutique nature family wellness resort, not gonna lie.
What I’m excited about:
I booked my family a last minute (two week lead time) trip across the world to be in the mountains. Any guesses where? I love these spontaneous trips. We used to do them all the time but have been way more conservative with travel in recent years. Sometimes, life calls for a YOLO moment.
My kids are excited and it’s also a 10 year wedding anniversary celebration.
Listen, I’m not lying when I say the mountains are calling me.
What I’m writing this week:
I’m half way through a piece titled: God made us creators, not beggars. Here’s what I call Visceral Prayer — it will change your life.
My readers have requested this in droves and it is such a BEAST of a topic… one piece won’t do it justice but gosh, you’re going to love this one piece. Stay tuned on Thursday Aussie time for its delivery.
The unglamorous bit:
Slowly weaning figgy as she approaches three and I find it so hard, emotionally. I feel my body is ready long before my heart is. I just value it so much, I want to nourish her this way as long as possible AND also… I do still have the capacity to do it.
Sol weaned quite easily at 18 months. Pax fed til 3 years (true booby monster!). Figgy is a bonfadie booby monster too. I am persisting despite feeling ready, and trusting that a natural wean will happen.
I wrote her a weaning book a year ago, because I felt I was ready then… but neither of us were. I’ve never had a baby self wean and I’ve also never run out of milk.
I love extended breastfeeding. I also sometimes feel conflicted with regards to when to stop, and whether I just make the call, or let it happen on it’s on time. Sometimes as a ‘natural mumma’ I feel we don’t talk about this conflict enough- we think we need to act all ‘ohhh i just love it 24/7’. I am breastfeedings BIGGEST advocate. I’ve breastfed day and night for 7.5 years total and endured a lot of mastitis during that time and I can that I both love it, AND find weaning tricky.
Alright that’s it for today! See you Thursday with a whopper.
PK XX
Ohh this is so accurate PK, my youngest is off to school next year and God is calling me deeper into my art, creativity, business and SO MUCH MORE. I feel on fire again, but not reckless forest destroying- a settling in who I am and what I’m here to do ( how good is getting older) It’s refreshing to know I’m not alone, so thank you for sharing.
so so so agree. currently in the process of major major pruning and have been for two years now. i'm building my life by design. a life that's really mine.