Tales from our family travels.
New chapters and wise words from Aunty Martine.
I’m writing to you from a little cafe in Franklin, Tennessee.
(Reader, note, at the time of posting this, we’re in Lake Tahoe visiting family).
It’s called Onyx and Alabaster and it’s an interior design house X super suave coffee spot. The coffee is good. And that’s coming from an Aussie coffee snob. I got a choccie croissant too, because I’m on day 1 of my cycle and I did a (slightly half assed) workout this morning at the gym and who I am explaining to again?
I don’t explain my chocolate croissants.
They’ve got worship music playing softly, which is beautiful and also, it’s Tennessee. Faith is loud and proud which is refreshing coming from Australia where it’s slightly underground but there is for sure a new groundswell. People are becoming desperate and disillusioned and people are in pain and seeking purpose and that is when people seek and encounter the truth that sets you free (of which there are many levels, as I am learning).
Last night we went to dinner at a place called Herban Market, which is all organic, no seed oils, no glyphosate, you know— how it really should be but isn’t. They had a beautiful note on the menu that said ‘we are always organic. Hopefully at a profit. At a loss if we need to be, but always organic.’ I appreciate this integrity, and you can taste it. It’s a clear position and it’s a rare one in the restaurant space.
An older man there was alone at the bar reading a book on mystical christianity. I was going to ask him about it because— right up my alley ya know, and because I’ve only bought 12 books in the 6 weeks we’ve been travelling so far so what’s another one? But then my youngest started running towards a little baby (because she is baby obsessed and yes that makes me want another but Figgy is still on the boob day and night so… not right now).
I really love Tennessee. It’s my new favourite American state. The area we have our airbnb is like a 90’s American suburb you’d have seen on the movies growing up. Families out on their porch til after dark, and at least 8 families in the neighbourhood homeschool so in the afternoons after the work is done it’s all fun and games outside. The other day, my three kids stood with about 8 others on the front of the neighbours house and joyfully tried to get all the cars that passed to toot their horn. Then they’d cheer when they did and add another score to their tally. Yesterday they made a good ol’ fashioned lemonade stand. Everyone who drove by stopped to buy one.
Wholesome. Beautiful. Innocent childhood.
We’ve made real and good friends in the two weeks we’ve been here already and it’s been so very easy. You know when you just fit?
People are sweet. The kind of sweet that is a little uncomfortable for an Aussie because although we are good and kind, we are a little rough. The neighbours here still neighbour. I won’t lie we have incredible neighbours back home too but I feel like this time in Tennessee has been so good for my soul. It’s given me a short and sweet masterclass in southern hospitality. It’s deepened in me the importance of family culture, faith, values and a sturdy moral centre.
Our family is at a definite point of decision making— It’s not just Australia Vs America. It’s so much more.
Our old way, our old dynamic, our old identity isn’t fitting anymore.
We’re being called to new expression, new creations, and new rhythms.
And we’re in that uncomfortable place of the in between, as bloody cheesy and instagramish as that sounds.
My favourite strategy for these moments is to think and talk and think and talk and think and talk my way to clarity.
The thing I love most about leaving home and going travelling, whether it’s a week, months or stints living away- is that you can see and hear things differently. You get ideas and perspectives you don’t get when you’re In the same environment and routine everyday. It freshens you. You see things in other cultures that may spark business ideas or may remind you of parts of you that you’ve sorta lost or to open your mind to something you were closed to, or to really clarify what’s really important.
I loathe the saying ‘wherever you go, there you are.’ No ma’am (I say ma’am now).
Wherever you go, there is a version of you, you probably couldn’t access in the monotony of your everyday. It’s a part of you that was popped alive by a new land, a new person, a new culture, a new perspective.
You are different when you aren’t walking among those who remember you like you were when you were 19, or who still judge you for who you were when you were 23.
I have long spoken about the importance of circulating energy. If you’re stuck, move. Change your routine. Go to a new coffee shop to write. Put on a nicer outfit. Workout at the gym instead of in your garage. Book 3 days somewhere new.
Women especially are creatures of variety and curiosity. We need it.
You may know, I’ve lived in my native Australia, also USA, England and Italy (we renovated a Piedmontese farmhouse on a 60 acre organic farm, and made it a non tox luxury haven. See here).
Most recently we left Australia for an extended trip with our kids, of course, starting with Japan. Japan is a country I’d suggest everyone put on their lists. The order, beauty, and social cohesion is radicalising in the best way. We stayed in Tokyo, then went skiing in Hakuba then came back to Tokyo. Japan really needs it’s own post but in short I’ll just say— We will definitely be returning.
Then we stopped by LA as an entry point into USA, saw some friends, ducked and weaved some colourful characters on the street, bought guns, had some good coffee and ventured on our merry way to Jupiter, Florida for a couple of weeks.
Our time in Jupiter was fun. I hadn’t spent much time in Florida other than a few very quick stints in Miami here and there. On the second or third night, our youngest, Figgy (2), locked herself in the bathroom of our airbnb and turned the tap on. It was 9:30pm (we were still getting adjusted to the time so a late night for the kids). I tried to open the door and realised it was locked and calmly tried to tell her how to open it. I wasn’t calm for long once I realised she wouldn’t be able to.
We then took turns talking to her, still trying to instruct her, while racing around trying to find a skewer, or a knife, anything that could get the door open. I had my husband call 9/11 and get a fire fighter over to open it because it was escalating. She was calm for about 5 minutes saying ‘mummy I need you to open it for me’. After that, she started to panic and was crying ‘mummy open the door I want the booby’. A tap was on, and we could hear running water, but we didn’t know which one. Between her crying and the tap, she couldn’t hear us at this stage. In my opinion my husband was TOO calm on the phone to 911. I was trying to get him to be more urgent because I’m used to, in Australia, it sometimes taking a while for emergency services to show up. He knew though that they’d be there almost immediately, and they were.
Within two minutes or less, there was a huge police officer (like in the movies), in our airbnb. I was not calm by this stage because my baby was calling out to me and I couldn’t get to her.
Sol, my eldest was mirroring my energy and telling the big cop to kick the door in. He told her he couldn’t because figgy was standing right behind it. Pax was trying to close his eyes, very worried for his little sister and also having flashbacks to when he locked himself in an airbnb room also (I was able to get him out picking the lock with a knife). But another time he locked himself in his grandpas’ Aston Martin in the hot Arizona heat and Erik had to smash the window with him in it to get him out. Oh, the mems.
So, within a minute, another cop showed up, and then an ambulance and fire brigade. They wedged the door open and hallelujah. I reached in and grabbed Figgy and put her on the boob and she so cutely was waving to the 5 emergency personnel.
It was a high adrenaline situation but oh my GOSH I was so impressed by how fast the emergency response workers were there. It was like we blinked and hello!
We took the kids to the Ninja Kids park, which is something they were fanging to do.
I met with a beautiful friend, Natalia Rose in Palm beach and we walked the insanely gorgeous homes in the eerily perfect utopia that is Palm Beach Island for two hours. Someone on my IG suggested I buy a book about the scandals and lore of Palm Beach and I said hold my orange juice sis— I bought three. One thing about me is imma hyper-fixate.
I couldn’t believe how many dogs had prams /strollers. We even met dogs that had spectacles and sunglasses. I mean, you do you dawg.
I learned to DJ in Florida. Yep. Are you tracking my undiagnosed ADHD or what? (I won’t ever go for a diagnosis mind you. If there is one thing our world is right now, it’s over-diagnosed).
I had a professional come and teach me for four hours, twice, with homework in between. It’s always a stretch for an eldest daughter to start something new and not be the best right away. But I’m a fighter.
At the end of our lessons, the teacher put his shades on and during my first extended mix he raved in the kitchen in front of me. I was laughing inside thinking ‘Americans are so cool and free and cringe’ meanwhile I was concentrating so hard on getting the mix right I was barely dancing.
Typical eldest daughter— I will enjoy myself once I am GOOD at it ok? Not a moment before then.
Surprisingly, the ‘travelling with young kids’ fatigue didn’t start to creep in until late into Florida. I love travel, but I love routine and home and comfort too.
I love travel for how it enforces my Body Luxury philosophy (new post coming about that soon), Including wellness minimalism and faith as a key part of the routine. I have my non negotiables on travel but the things I lighten up on too. I’ll write about this more soon. But after a month of rogue pilates workouts, I missed my heavier lifting. My body really missed it.
Then onto Franklin Tennessee. And Easter.
We slipped right into Franklin life as it if were our home. I started going to the gym again to lift heavy and gosh it felt good. I do love having solid structure around my movement, At least, some sturdy anchors, then I can add my flavoursome stuff on top.
We met up with a friend and her daughter on the first day and we met the neighbours and we fell in love with the gorgeous homes and town and ahh. Franklin is so beautiful.
Wit this sense of home also came with a deep ache. A sense of belonging, and freedom up against the biological pull towards maternal lineage who can be apart of the children’s lives. Difficult from 30 hours plane ride away.,
I have felt a real tension. Like I am at an edge. Not just an edge of decision making but a real edge. I know I need to step forward into something new— firstly in terms of family rhythm. Sol is almost 9 now and what she wants and needs is changing too. It’s exciting and also, it’s new. We forget how quickly time goes with our kids. We forget that we only have them as babies for such a short time. Toddlers, a short time. Little kids, a short time. They then grow in independence and reveal even more of who they are, what they’re interested in and as a family, we’ve got to grow all together.
We’re all growing.
As a family we’re entering a new chapter in many ways all at once.
New family business.
New family rhythm.
But the underlying decision on our hearts when we ventured on this trip was: Do we live in the USA again? Or do we return home but with renewed purpose in Australia?
The other day I did what I believe is the hardest thing for an eldest daughter to do. I cried like I should’ve cried when I was 7. You know those sorts of cries? Nothing was wrong— nothing. Just the tension of the edge, and my relentless mental activity trying to make all the right decisions… it wore me down.
It’s meant to, isn’t it?
We burst when we are holding too much tension inside because we’re not meant to. Crying is the release. It’s how we let ourselves be cradled again in the love of God and the reminder that ‘it’s all good. You’ll make the right decision.’
^^ Beautiful Lake Tahoe the other day.
I sent an audio message to one of my mentors Martine 🌹 . She is like my Phillipino aunty. I know I can tell it to her exactly as it is and she understands them spiritually and biologically. She said to me this morning:
This edge is where multiple identities are trying to survive at once.
Dam. So true.
It feels hectic at the edge because old you, other you, new you are all there trying to breathe and you’ve got to choose a direction, a way of being that is perhaps new and a little uncomfortable.
As I started focussing on who I wanted to be in this new chapter— as a mum, a wife, a creator…
I stopped making it about location.
My husband went through his own process and we would report to each other where we were at. I would really lean on his sharp logic and non-emotional decision making skills. I mean, what even are those?
Slowly, but surely our clarity arrived.
New visions arrived.
Things started falling into place.
All things to grow into.
And now here I am at an edge— it feels like the same edge I was at when I left my Phd in 2011 as a young 20 something who thought she’d always be an academic, and went into business. That kind of edge.
More on this next time.
With love, from a snowy (yes! in April!) day in Tahoe.
PK XXX
Oh also, Sol and I have done the BEST vintage shopping here especially in Truckee. I need to do a whole post about just the jackets I found. I have been vintage shopping since I was 12 and with it’s rising popularity, you’ve gotta work harder for it now! Here’s one of them. I’m not sure I’ll get away with wearing this back in Aus because everyone will think it’s a political statement. Guys, it’s a fashion statement. Another score was a 90’s parker, tarten lined.





i'm so happy you hung out with natalia :)
i feel this deeply. i'm on the precipice of something new - not sure what yet.