Every single sentence of this!! Gosh I love how you write with such crystal clear clarity. This was incredibly powerful and I hope it spreads far and wide for the entire online ocean to read.
Thus is why I follow you and read carefully your notes. The title did not seem like something for me but the depth of this article matters so much!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Reminders like this, we all need. Mother, or not. Remembering what matters is simple yet we easily go tangent…
“Thankless and humbling”: this is where it hit for me. We’re driven by reward and a feeling of mastery—which must then also be rewarded through recognition. It’s so hard to live an invisible life beyond our families. How in the world did people do it before tech made us crazy??
Totally!! My husband and I were talking about this today. Even substack, people are driven by leaderboards and stats. ‘Goodness is its own reward’ isn’t a thing anymore because we’ve become so used to needing to tell the world about it/prove it/be applauded for it
I have been sitting with this as a therapist…it feels out of integrity to promote therapy services on a platform that I know is harming my clients mental health. Some therapist say you need to create positive content but actually I think it’s adding to the noise and I can’t support it anymore. (Which is different then villainizing it)
“You have to care more about your actual life, than what it looks like to strangers.
It is thankless, humbling like motherhood often is.” You hit on so many important things many of us wrestle. This stood out to me the most. I think the biggest angst we experience is when we start to elevate and pine for the virtual life over our real one. When I think of my children, do I want them to remember looking up to get my attention and I always have this little screen in my hands? What am I teaching them?
Peta. Your writing has been equal parts captivating and convicting once again. ❤️ so glad I found you before you become more illusive on social media 😂😅🫶
But actually I don’t have control in my life. I have 3 kids 4 and under, one of whom has only 3 modes: eating, crying, and sleeping (in arms). I haven’t gotten more than 5 hours of broken sleep in a day since before he was born 8 weeks ago. Prior to that, I was nauseated for an entire pregnancy, and dealing with toddlers almost constantly sick from their first year of daycare. I work part time (a positive thing for me) and spend all remaining energy on basic house/life management. There is really nothing left for better and more costly pursuits than the internet. I hate my relationship with my phone but I also don’t have the capacity to replace what it gives me (entertainment, information, connection, etc) with anything better.
Sending hugs. That sounds like an incredibly difficult season. I think there are still ways to consume more healthily… perhaps swapping short form for long form. I think reading articles on Substack is better than falling into a doomscroll. So it looks like you’re on a good track there! I also thinking reading a book is a pretty simple replacement. I can also totally see what you’re saying. Sometimes we are just trying to survive the day. ♥️ I’ve been there, but I have gotten to the other side.
Every single sentence of this!! Gosh I love how you write with such crystal clear clarity. This was incredibly powerful and I hope it spreads far and wide for the entire online ocean to read.
Aww thank you Holly oxo
Thus is why I follow you and read carefully your notes. The title did not seem like something for me but the depth of this article matters so much!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Reminders like this, we all need. Mother, or not. Remembering what matters is simple yet we easily go tangent…
Thank you emilie . I’m so glad ❤️
Needed this- thank you !!
opal is my life saver. blocked all apps from 9pm to 9am every day.
I love it too xx
Bang on 🎯
“Thankless and humbling”: this is where it hit for me. We’re driven by reward and a feeling of mastery—which must then also be rewarded through recognition. It’s so hard to live an invisible life beyond our families. How in the world did people do it before tech made us crazy??
Totally!! My husband and I were talking about this today. Even substack, people are driven by leaderboards and stats. ‘Goodness is its own reward’ isn’t a thing anymore because we’ve become so used to needing to tell the world about it/prove it/be applauded for it
I wonder if it’s because we don’t consider ourselves loved simply because we exist.
I have been sitting with this as a therapist…it feels out of integrity to promote therapy services on a platform that I know is harming my clients mental health. Some therapist say you need to create positive content but actually I think it’s adding to the noise and I can’t support it anymore. (Which is different then villainizing it)
good on you for sitting with it honestly. I know it can be uncomfy. XXX
End of times! 😩
“You have to care more about your actual life, than what it looks like to strangers.
It is thankless, humbling like motherhood often is.” You hit on so many important things many of us wrestle. This stood out to me the most. I think the biggest angst we experience is when we start to elevate and pine for the virtual life over our real one. When I think of my children, do I want them to remember looking up to get my attention and I always have this little screen in my hands? What am I teaching them?
Peta. Your writing has been equal parts captivating and convicting once again. ❤️ so glad I found you before you become more illusive on social media 😂😅🫶
hahaha i wont be illusive but I need to have seasons where I can recharge thats for sure. XXX
Thank you for this 🙏🏻
But actually I don’t have control in my life. I have 3 kids 4 and under, one of whom has only 3 modes: eating, crying, and sleeping (in arms). I haven’t gotten more than 5 hours of broken sleep in a day since before he was born 8 weeks ago. Prior to that, I was nauseated for an entire pregnancy, and dealing with toddlers almost constantly sick from their first year of daycare. I work part time (a positive thing for me) and spend all remaining energy on basic house/life management. There is really nothing left for better and more costly pursuits than the internet. I hate my relationship with my phone but I also don’t have the capacity to replace what it gives me (entertainment, information, connection, etc) with anything better.
Sending hugs. That sounds like an incredibly difficult season. I think there are still ways to consume more healthily… perhaps swapping short form for long form. I think reading articles on Substack is better than falling into a doomscroll. So it looks like you’re on a good track there! I also thinking reading a book is a pretty simple replacement. I can also totally see what you’re saying. Sometimes we are just trying to survive the day. ♥️ I’ve been there, but I have gotten to the other side.
Brilliant.
Thanks for the pep talk! I love how you speak and write, honestly and to the point.
Thanks Jane xx