I am tired, it is beautiful.

Something I’m learning
as a woman
who is devoted to living
at the pace of love
is that when I am tired
i don’t always need to
justify it
with the moon
or the planetary position
or what I am or am not eating
or my output
or empathic tendencies
or mothering
or cortisol
or my recent big surge
or any other scientific
or energetic
or astrological analysis
of the workings of my life force
Sometimes I am just tired
and there is no reason
and intuitively I know
there is nothing wrong
i am vibrant and alive
and also today I am tired
and my lesson is not adding
work to the tiredness
by trying to craft a plan beyond it
my work is in
giving myself to it
letting it cook me
letting it lay me down
and reconfigure me
letting it serve me
without me then saying
‘Oooh oooh I can help too!’
no, the tiredness says
i don’t want your help
i want you to do nothing
Be tired.
Feel tired.
And only by letting yourself feel tired
not fighting it
or matcha-ing it
will the tiredness release you
into new vibrancy
it is only
by loving yourself when you are
the things you don’t want to be
will they let you go
because force
doesn’t work for the womb
and she’ll keep teaching
until we learn the golden way.
Lay, she says.
Nowhere to be.
No one to be.
Nothing to be.
PK XX