You have excellent taste, I know it.

You know whose essays are worth reading.

You’re always early to support those underground geniuses the masses don’t know about yet.

You know who’s saying something new and who’s reheating a thought from 2017.

You know who’s genuine and trustworthy, and who’s a total cowboy.

Your discernment is excellent. Your taste in other people’s work? Chef’s kiss. No notes.

But when it comes to your own idea?

“It’s too obvious. Surely people know this already.”

Meanwhile, you’ve just spent 40 minutes reading someone explain something you’ve known for a decade. Ouchy mama.

There it is again. That sting.

They trusted themselves to say it. And you didn’t.

The more clever and self aware you are, the more sophisticated you’ll become in the ways you sabotage yourself.

Sometimes the reasons for your stagnation sound super sensible.

Some are genuine boundaries— you’ve got little kids at home and you don’t have the capacity for all the online stuff in some seasons. This is so fair (been there).

Sometimes though, we do have the capacity. We’re using it to scroll, and to consume more of other people’s ideas…. while sitting on really good ones of our own.

Here’s what I’ve noticed about clever women who’ve built beautiful things before: we don’t stop creating because we lose our capability (although, we may believe that temporarily). We stop because we get very, very good at hiding — and we hide in our best qualities.

We hide behind our integrity. “I just don’t wanna get caught up and forget my priorities”

We hide behind our humility. “I really don’t care if people read my stuff, I just wanna write it.”

We hide behind the fact that ‘well, I don’t need the money’.

I want to remind you that money isn’t the most important part of creation for a woman.

We create because it’s part of our biological territory to do so. We create because we don’t know how not to. We create because we create life so, how do we live a life without creating beauty?

We create because it brings us alive.

We create because we love connecting with others— with detail, and stories like only women do (does your husband ever get 18 minute audios from his friends? no. It’s a woman thing).

Forget all the crap that surrounds the online element of creation and come back to the purity and honesty of your own secret desires to create.

You miss the excitement of an idea in motion — solving a real problem, finishing something, the quiet jolt of being paid for work that came from your own head.

You are allowed to love your life and still be a bit bored.

You are allowed to admit that you’re a bit of a turbo.

You’re allowed to want a thriving creative life again.

Who told you otherwise? Someone in your life? Someone on the internet? Or someone in your own head?

I want to remind you that backing yourself doesn’t mean dragging yourself back into work you no longer want. It doesn’t mean ‘getting caught up’ or an ungodly screen time. It can simply mean a more invigorated, focussed creative life….

One that makes you more alive and maybe even more present for the people you love…. because you’re acting on your ideas and not ruminating on them, second guessing them, and worrying about whether someone else will get their first.

Now the part I really want you to hear.

You’ve built before. You’ve had the idea and you’ve followed through (so stop telling yourself the lie that you’ve got no follow through). You’ve made beautiful things.

Then maybe you took a step back to be present at home. Or you changed direction and you haven’t re-entered yet.

Maybe now you second-guess every jolt of clarity because everyone seems to be zooming past you with their AI agents (and you’re still suss about AI and if you’re honest, intimidated by it), their super clear niche’s and their seemingly growing delusional confidence.

Maybe you’ve lost yours. Maybe you feel less confident.

But I want you to know something….

You haven’t lost your creativity. You’ve outgrown your old work. You’re unwilling to go back to how it was before.

What was familiar may not be what is right for this next phase.

Don’t let that keep you in tiresome stagnancy.

You’re still that girl, okay?

Being capable of building something doesn’t mean you want to build the same thing again. Life is different now. You’re no longer willing to charge towards goals that mean nothing to you, or turn your life into material for an audience. You still want to express yourself. You just don’t want everything that used to come with it.

So feel free to drop the old model or the old message or maybe even the persona that was a little more “perfect” than you are in real life.

You don’t have to churn out content while you work out what you really want to say. Don’t rush.

Let yourself entertain entirely new models and ideas — online, in person, long form, behind the scenes, fully seen, making, investing.

Like I always ask— do you really wanna make an online course or do you wanna open a cafe? Let yourself enter exciting new territory.

This next season gets to be life-giving ok?

It gets to be joyfully ambitious, without taking over your life or making you impatient for the people you love.

You get to be even more honest now, without any remaining dribbles of performance.

Let that excite you.

A decade ago, I used to ask this question from a stage in front of 14,000 people.

If you didn’t know how it should be done, how would you do it?

Start there— forget what use to work. Forget about what everyone else is doing.

Back yourself again.

Lotsa love, PK XX

NOTE: I am in the process of making new things, but if you want three hours of straight PK pep talk on this topic so you can be free and on fire again, go here. If you want something more low key but still able to jolt you into new creativity, go here.

I am writing from the spring sunshine, which is the best sunshine.

Once October hits in Aus, the silly season begins in full force. We have the AFL grand final at the end of September (our version of the Super Bowl) and then it’s just festivities all the way through the summer. My team, my home town team was in the Grand Final this year and lost in heartbreaking fashion. I don’t wanna talk about it.

October is also when I put my Christmas tree up. YES I know it’s early. But early for who? My neighbours have halloween decorations up, including one incredibly creepy Chucky doll. For me? I’d rather go straight for Christmas. The tree brings so much joy, so do Christmas carols. The lead up to Christmas, with all the community carols, Christmas events, beautiful services— is more joyful than actual hot sweaty Christmas day in my humble opinion. Although I bloody love Christmas day too. My middle name should’ve been FELIZNAVIDAD.

By December 26, I am ready to take my tree down but I feel full to the brim of a lengthy Christmas season. Some of my best friends are also Christmas mad, some hate the consumerist element of it too much and just have ultra eco recyclable trees in their house (depressing honestly). I also have some friends who don’t celebrate Christmas. It’s pagan, they say. I LISTEN AND I DON’T JUDGE.

I think I could own a Christmas shop, actually. I’d love that job.

It is our fourth Christmas in this home which I remind myself of whenever I think I don’t have it in me to be ‘grounded’. I do, oh I do. I just like new adventures every so often.

I’ve returned to my weekly Padel sessions which also bring me so much joy. I play with middle age and sometimes older ladies, many of whom were high level tennis players once. They are good, sometimes too good. Lucky for me I have young legs, a quick reaction time and a lot of bulldog in me when it comes to chasing the ball. They may be wearing a knee brace here and there but my golly they can splice a serve right to the corner of the glass and have me fighting for my life. I bloody love them. They show no mercy either.

You know what I love the most about playing with older ladies? They’re so far beyond the ‘nice girl fluffy language’ that millennials and younger gens still entertain. When we swap partners, they say ‘do you have a preference for your side Peta?’. I’ll say ‘no, I can play either.’ They’ll say ‘Good, I want the forehand.’ They don’t fill in conversations with fluff. They’ll cut a conversation off if I’m still yapping and they want to concentrate on the game. They’ve lived long enough to be so sure of themselves. But they’re perfectly lovely too. Just not over the top butt kissing lovely (this might give you a hint as to the topic of my new book).

Look, I’m a pretty confident person. I have no trouble leading people and even bossing people around if I need to (the Leo, Manifestor, eldest daughter combo is real)… but when I’m at Padel with my older lady friends, I happily sit behind their confident leadership. I love it. I never keep track of the score because I know Caz or Robyn has it covered. I do need to work on that though.

Racquet sports are vitality and longevity maxing, did you know that? This is straight facts!!

I mean even without the research I’m about to share, we already know why.

Firstly, it’s social.
Secondly, it’s (often) outdoors.
Thirdly, all ranges of movement for the fascia.

We don’t need science to back it up but let me give it to you anyway. Refs are at the bottom if you wanna nerd out some more.

The large mortality study pooled data on about 80,000 adults in England and Scotland, who were followed for 9 years on average. Compared with people who didn’t play, those who played racquet sports had a 47% lower risk of death from any cause and 56% lower risk of death from cardiovascular disease.

Another study out of Copenhagen followed about 8,500 Danish adults for up to 25 years and compared life expectancy across sports against sedentary people. The life expectancy results were:

• Tennis: +9.7 years

• Badminton: +6.2 years

• Soccer: +4.7 years

• Cycling: +3.7 years

• Swimming: +3.4 years

• Jogging: +3.2 years

• Calisthenics: +3.1 years

• Health club/gym activities: +1.5 years

On the topic of vitality maxing… I caught up with one of longest friends (since we were 5) the other day. We see each other maybe once a year and just non stop laugh about all of our hilarious, unhinged memories. I have several ride or die girlfriends. Two of them, I have known since I was 5.

Most of my closest friends are not known to my IG followers. They have rarely featured in my content, even stories. They have known me since the beginning and same goes for me/them.

There is such a difference between performative internet friendships and your ride or dies and I am blessed to have always known this.

Moving on:

Now, you probably know I paused my paid subscriptions for a bit. I do this in seasons. I’ve learned to embrace this rhythm as a natural part of my consistency. There are high seasons and regular seasons.

I turn them back on when I want to deliver a paid series again. You can read my lengthy post talking about the paid subs dynamic and my case for a ‘pay per article’ feature instead.

From now until Christmas it’s busy busy for us— two of my kids have birthdays (you bet I throw at least one party… this year it’s a pool party disco), there are a lot of activities like the home school markets where we sell our famous home made bon bons (they sell out every year!).

And I am just itching to really make headway on my 6th book.

I also took a little break from the weekly honey, because we travelled. I don’t want to deliver the honey weekly, but I will deliver it regularly.

So, here is the newest edition— things I’m loving, reading, and working on.

Things I’m loving:

Padel.

4 x strength days.

Cooking bananas in butter and adding them to my porridge.

Listening to and watching Christmas Carols with my kids.

Early morning sunlight on the verandah with my kids listening to the insanely epic Australian bird song.

My Christmas puzzles are back out.

What I’m excited about:

The sun is out. I love this time of year. I am getting super focussed on plans for next year. New book. One of my longest closest friends is coming over this arvo with her four kids for a swim. Expansion. Getting back on my Neville Goddard train. Also… CHRISTMAS SEASON SORRY I AM UNSTOPPABLE.

What I’m working on:

a) Weaning my hilarious baby girl Figgy (She told me the other day that I dance like Raygun, so). She turns three next month and it’s the right time. Not because of the Raygun comment I promise. She went 36 hours without it just now, but we had a big feed this morning to ensure no engorgement for me. I find weaning hard emotionally, I won’t lie. But I know it’s the right time. She’s doing great and so am I. I made her a weaning book back in August 2025, but turns out, we wanted to go all the way til 3. Pax went to 3 years too… Sol went to 18 months. We’re undecided on another baby but I want a little rest for my boobs in case.

b) I’m working on a talk I’m giving In Brisbane next month for RMDY. I haven’t spoken at anyones event (or my own) for so many years so I’m dusting off the ol’ slide skills.

I’m really excited to get back to it. I have been preparing for this one in my head for many months. Once I know I have a talk coming up, the message starts forming in my head long before I sit down to make some slides. If it’s a conference, like this one is, I make very simple slides and use those as notes- giving myself a solid structure but a lot of freedom to read the room, trust myself, and go off path if needed. I’d say my speaking style is rogue.

If I’m speaking say, at one of my own events, I am so happy to just rip, no notes. This is my favourite setting. I miss it.

b) New book!!

I’ve been touching in and out of this book for a while. I find that happens. I will be preparing it for many years— writing about the topic online etc— before sitting to write the book. I am fanging to do another book tour. I haven’t one once since Earth Is Hiring which was just THE BEST. I’m still in touch with Lauren in LA who orchestrated all of that too.

I am open to an agent/traditional pub for this book, but am also planning a self publish launch for late 2027 anyway because as you guys know… I don’t like the long wait that often comes with traditional publishing. I want to write it, print it, tell you about it, then in this case, tour right away. Lengthy waits are a little painful. I like my energy fresh.

What I’m reading:

The Celtic Way Of Prayer— Esther De Waal. A absolutely love reading about Celtic Christianity, and how they merge the way of Christ with the spirituality/connection with land and ritual from times long before Christ. Also, I love connecting with anything Celtic because— ancestry.

I recently read ‘I Who Have Never Known Men’— 1995 dystopian novel by Belgian author Jacqueline Harpman. It’s heavy and beautiful. But hey. We have range.

I read ‘Everyone Is Lying To You’ by Jo Piazza which was a similar trad wife culture theme to Yesteryear but I enjoyed it more. Yesteryear— the ending was so dark. I like a good ending.

I read through a bunch of romance novels from the library— I took a photo of the book shelf, uploaded to Claude and asked for recommendations. I whipped through about 4 of them in a week, including one titled ‘Romantic Comedy’, another ‘Almost Life’. All of them were good and enjoyable.

Shows I’m loving:

I don’t usually give show recommendations cos truth is I don’t sit and watch shows much— I fall asleep with my kids before 9pm usually while reading or doing a puzzle book. But when I need to do nothing productive and just CHILL… like when Erik takes the kids to the park with the dogs and I know I should do laundry but there’s a macadamia loco love in the drawer and a cosy cough with my name on it then…. I WILL INDULGE no questions asked. What I’m loving right now is Morning Wars, on Apple. Keeps me gripped. I started it on the plane.

What I love watching with the kids is Christmas movies, and also Christmas carols! We always watch them on YouTube each year, we search for Christmas carols London and watch choirs singing in those gorgeous cathedrals. I miss London!

We always watch ‘Home for Christmas’ by Hannah Waddingham on Apple too, as well as Christmas With The Bocelli’s on Youtube (highly recommend if you do fam watch time— i know many readers do no screen time at all. Hats off to ya). Andrea Bocelli was my Nanna’s favourite singer and so I love him because she did. I chose one of his songs for her funeral.

Ok that’s it for now. Have a beautiful week!

Lotsa Love,

PK XXX

Subscribe now

References:

The large mortality study: Oja et al., British Journal of Sports Medicine, 2016

The headline study: Copenhagen City Heart Study (Schnohr et al., Mayo Clinic Proceedings, 2018)

Now is the time to make sure you’re in creative and personal integrity especially while the world is telling you to do more, make more, produce more.

TLDR: How can you tidy up your online life so that it feels cleaner than ever? I share what I am doing personally to come into greater creative integrity including with the paid subscription model on Substack.

These are raw thoughts. Unpolished. The sun is shining and I’ve sat on my butt for long enough today.

If you’re reading this on Substack, you’ve probably seen hundreds of notes in the last 6 months that read something like this:

“Hi Substack! I am so happy to be here— everyone is so kind and it feels like the internet in the early days of blogging. I feel like I can delete Instagram and just go all in on this platform now. This place is for the girlies who love long form and who want their attention spans back.”

Now, I’ve been on Substack for 5 years this coming January so I am fully within my rights to play village elder and also devils advocate. I was on Substack before there were notes— when most people’s publications were titled ‘Cloe’s substack’ and were more akin to an unfiltered personal diary than an instagram-and-podcast-esque fully strategised marketing channel.

Let me be clear— I’m not whinging, I am commentating. I am observing. I am writing what I see and then I will offer you what I believe to be some good insights as to how to remain in integrity as the world gets louder.

We are allowed to comment on the state of these platforms, to articulate what we see and feel. In fact, this is the most natural inclination for many of us (me included). I am a bigger picture person. I see things from a rooftop. I am in no way your ‘step-by-step’ girl. I feel unexplainable frustration arise in me when people ask me ‘what’s the recipe?’ whenever I post a basic meal like chicken noodle soup.

Please. Please don’t ever ask me for a step-by-step. I am not your gal for that.

I am your girl for astute observations from where I sit. For commentary from a rooftop view. For reminding you what quiet integrity looks and feels like in a noisy world.

It’s a natural thing for Substack to feel a little ‘ugh’ as it starts to blow up. It’s not a bad thing to feel a little disappointed when your favourite place becomes popular and you don’t really wanna go anymore. This is how I felt when the world discovered Bali. Bali is just over three hours from my home town by flight. When the Kardashians started posting about it I, like many other Aussies who have loved (and respected!) Bali for many years wanted to say ‘omg go away. Stop ruining things.’

Substack is changing.

Just like Instagram is changing.

The paid subscription model is changing things for many creatives but it’s also changing things for consumers (i’m gonna write about my struggles with it down below).

Also? We are changing. Especially those who are of my vintage— turning 40 in a couple of years and have been online since online was a thing.

It’s all worth talking about.

I have wanted to burn it all down many times. I’m actually quite proud that I haven’t. I mean, I did delete Facebook with over 50,000 followers back in 2018 and I do regret not downloading some old party pics first.

But I have maintained a consistent online presence, sharing my expanding body of work for now 15 years.

I’ve taken breaks. Some one month, some three months, some closer to a year. I’ve remained committed to my creative life, while also letting it change shape around my growing family.

One thing I can say that I have done well over that time— is I have done things my own way. I have self published my own books. I have taken breaks and paused my paid subscriptions. I have tried always to centre my own integrity and never trends or public expectation.

This is what I want to write about today— making sure you’re in personal and creative integrity with all this *flaps arms around social media*.

Yes, it does feel noisier. Anyone who wants a global platform can have one. What an amazing thing, that anyone can have a far reaching voice. Anyone can put the work in to create their own creative success and not wait to be ‘discovered’ by an agent or scout anymore.

We have to include the huge goodness of social media when we talk about its dark side too.

Really, the boom of social media has become a great leveller. I love that part. I love seeing hilarious people blow up and change their lives, starting out filming funny family skits at home. I love these stories of everyday talented people with no ‘networks’ creating their own success— no longer needing to wait for some big dog to come along and choose them.

Substack is doing this for writers and creators— especially authors. Don’t wanna dance around on IG or Tik Tok? Do it your way with an old school blog or newsletter. Yes, publishers still obsess over ‘how big your platform is’ but many authors I feel are realising that they don’t need a publisher anymore. Again— the days of needing to be ‘discovered’ and ‘chosen’ by the big dogs are over.

It’s easy to sit and moan about how loud is it online. But the truth is, it’s loud because we’re logged in too often. It becomes very quiet when you have the right discipline, and you’re not spending hours a day on platforms where billions of people broadcast their opinions and advice at once.

If you want it to be quieter? Log off. You get to decide whether you walk into the massive broadcast station and sit down for hours, or whether you come, broadcast and then go back to the forrest.

Sometimes, we can’t get a handle on our own behaviours and discipline, so we resort to the extreme— I just need to delete everything.

This works, so long as you don’t want to have a place to share your words, or your work. And let’s be honest— it is a beautiful thing to be able to share your ideas, your art, your experiences with like minded people around the world.

What we need to arrive at as creators in this landscape is something beyond this tantrum like “I’m deleting everything because it’s so loud and distracting and none of it is my fault.”

We need to arrive at full agency.

We need to arrive at a renewed adult integrity beyond blaming the algorithm and the additive nature of these apps.

We know what we’re dealing with. We know they’re monster-ish in their grips. But we’re autonomous human beings made by God so….

So, what are you going to do about it?

Is it time to delete IG for good? Or is it time to delete the app, log in once a week and share a weekly round up? Or is it time to clear out your algo and approach it with all new energy?

Is it time to start a Substack?

Is it right for YOU (regardless of what others are doing) to have the paid subscriptions on for you or is it better to have it all be free and simple, and you can offer your paid work in other ways? Or not at all if you don’t need to? Or start an in person club instead?

Is there an internal wrestle or something a little out of place? If so, when will this internal wrestle about social media end for you? When will you draw a line in the sand and say ‘hey. I am now really happy with how my online life, my work fits around what matters the most to me. I am fully in integrity. Nothing is out of place. I’m there.”

Let’s make it today.

Because what I observe is that most people are truly under some kinda spell— truly addicted— but pretending they’re not. I’ve been there. It’s a really tough pill to swallow. Especially when you’re a pretty disciplined person usually.

I want you to know that if you are addicted to your phone— you’re not faulty. The apps are designed for addiction. BUT…. You also don’t have to remain addicted. You get to be one of the people that looks back on these years without the regret of phone addiction.

I also want you to explore for yourself where you want to come into a more clean integrity personally.

My words are always going to ask the question: Ok so when does it get made right?

I have said it about 400 times. The tragedy of our generation will be that we our kids grew up and remember seeing their parents head down in some completely irrelevant online drama.

But it’s not just the consumption trap we need to be free of. It’s also the way we become try hards with regards to our sharing and our creating.

Sometimes we are ‘me too’ creatives. We are not creating from the originality of our soul. We know by the way it feels.

I want you to remember this— you do not have to do it how anyone else is doing it.

You do not need to wait for it to be ‘back in’ for you to post one photo and not a carousel.

You do not need to have paid subscriptions on your Substack just cos your favourite creator does.

You do not need to do digital products if the cafe/bookstore is what you are really chomping to do.

Your creative life does not need to revolve around your phone. Your social media is not the totality of your creativity. You can build something in the flesh.

Do we need to post at a volume that is ungodly?

Do we need to be ‘consistent’ in the same way people without kids are?

Do we need to know even 1/100th of the information we know about other people?

My question underneath it all is this:

What is the most high integrity place for me and my work?

What is the right rhythm? The right platforms? What do I want to share and what’s off the table?

What communication needs to happen and with whom so I can freshen this whole thing up and be in total integrity?

You can burn it all down.

You don’t need social media at all.

But if you want to have a little corner of the Internet where you share your work and words and connect with others in a way that truly suits you and what matters to you? Then create it exactly as you want it.

Don’t let tech overlords, or any of the psychos who create these addictive platforms hold you hostage and make you believe that you need to make your creativity fit THEIR models.

Because what ends up happening is that you not only make your creativity obedient to their models of addiction…. You make your entire life obedient to it.

Discipline with social media and addictive tech platforms is the work of our generation. Make no mistake.

Let’s be the few people who look back on these years with no regrets. We are made in the image of God. We are more powerful than these tech lords.

Ok in this next part I’m going to share:

— how the paid subscription model on Substack can affect creators, and also their audience.
— what I’m doing specifically to stay in integrity as the social media landscape feels noisy (on IG and substack specifically).

You probably know that I’ve gone back and forth on the paid subscriptions for the entire 5 years I’ve been here. I have paused them on and off three times and I am about to pause them again.

Each time, I’ve written to my audience telling them something along the lines of this:

— I need some time offline, and I’m not willing to keep my readers paying during that time.

— Some writers are happy to keep their readers paying even though they write 2-6 times a year. I’m not one of those people.

— I feel trapped by the paid subscription, like I need to write at a certain volume and consistency rather than the naturalness of my own creative inspiration (and yet I seem to have some kind of amnesia with this fact repeatedly).

— There are weeks when it’s particularly busy at home and I can’t sit to write, and when the paid subscription is on, I put a lot of pressure on myself to never miss a week.

— I hold myself to very high standards and when the paid subscription is on, I make those standards about frequency and volume rather than true creative integrity.

These are the sort of sentiments I’ve shared with my readers over the last few years. It’s still something I wrestle with today.

I wrote recently on notes that Substack needs a pay-per-view option. These were the exact words.

Substack needs a pay-per-view option. The monthly paid subscription doesn’t suit all creators or subscribers and in some cases it encourages volume over quality. I’ve paused mine three times over the last 5 years because naturally, I need seasons offline and I’m not willing to keep my readers paying during that time.

I 100% believe that having the ability to be paid for articles, and videos etc without needing to create whole digital products and do full launches, is amazing.

Personally, I hate ‘launching’. This is why barely any of you know about my third book. I posted about it twice.

I love that you can be paid as you go. You can be paid for the effort it takes to write a Substack piece, which in my case, takes hours. Sometimes weeks depending on the topic.

But I feel like the pay-per-view option would be a better option than a monthly subscription for both readers and writers. Here’s why.

(Please apply this to ANY model— not just Substack).

For creators:

— Not everyone has a consistent creative engine. Hi! Me! Some of us need weeks and months away to gather ourselves and prepare for the next ‘season’ of creative work.

— With a time bound subscription, focus can become about regularity and volume and less about quality. People feel they need to ‘churn’ out articles to maintain a certain frequency rather than take their time to put together truly well written pieces. Rather than be about writing as an art, it becomes about social media. You know? Could the world’s best classical music have been made if they made themselves put something out every single week?

— It is inconvenient to pause paid subscriptions between seasons. It can make creators feel that they’re faulty, when really the model just doesn’t fit.

— You can decide per article what you want to pay wall… You can have a diverse range of topics and not lump all of your readers under one paying option. This gives your readers more freedom.

— You can write at a rhythm that suits you. You are paid per piece, not per month.

— Monthly subscriptions imply monthly work. It nudges your efforts more toward volume and regularity than true quality. Some pieces take weeks, genuinely.

— Social media platforms are all about keeping people on. They care more about this than quality content. But is this what WE care about??

For readers:

— You might want to read someones words on one particular topic but not on others. One reader told me recently that she loves reading my stuff on social media but isnot interested in the motherhood stuff. I get it!!

— You can spread your ‘budget’ for writers around way more artists because you can fine tune what you’re actually interested in. Think about it, as more creators turn on their paid subscriptions, people only have a certain amount of $$ they’re willing to spend each month and so they have to choose to invest in a few writers rather than be able to support/learn from/go deeper with a wider variety.

Some other things worth noting and that may help you with your own process of deciding on models/platforms:

a) Sometimes it’s not about the money it’s about the dynamic.

I turn my paid subs on not because I’ve got financial goals on the platform (even though, there is NOTHING wrong with having financial goals linked to your writing here). I personally do it because of the dynamic. I sometimes grow tired of the way we share things of such rich depth, substance and effort just freely. The value gets lost.

We become accustomed to chewing through content with no exchange. People read intimate details of others lives without even commenting, if you think about it. People comment without accountability and without context. There’s a growing culture of entitlement. Things feel under-valued. People just willy nilly eat up everyones content without any real exchange. You know?

But then after a few months of them on, I start to feel the internal squeeze. Like I’ve had a very active period of going deep with my readers and then I need a breather. I can’t be ‘on’ like that all year round personally.

b) Leaving Substack ‘free for all’ does not mean you are undervaluing your work, it means you know yourself and also you back yourself.

It’s also much better if you want NO obligation to post at a certain cadence, and if you know that you like to take frequent breaks offline.

c) Subscriptions in themselves can feel like prison for many creatives.

I had a very successful mentorship membership back in 2015 called The Supercharged. I went live and mentored in there almost everyday (everyday!!). It worked amazingly, until I had children.

In this season of my life as my mum, my home life is the subscription model. That is what I am in complete commitment to. My creative life needs more flexibility and this does NOT mean that it lacks consistency.

That model would not work for me anymore, because I need the flexibility of being able to work my creative life around my children. As my children grow up and become more independent, things may change.

This is one thing I’ve noticed is that it can create stress in me / my home if I make myself sit down to write for example, when we’re on holiday or when we’ve just gotten home from overseas and are adjusting to the time, or when the kids are under the weather.

Sometimes I forget all this. I start to feel immortal and on a roll and think ‘yes! This rhythm is gonna last forever, turn the paid subs let’s go deep!’.

Then soon enough after a very active season, the need to recharge becomes apparent. And I can either ignore it or I can write honestly about it (even though it makes me a squirm a little to do so).

I want to note too I am in the blessed situation where my back is not up against the wall financially, so I can allow more flexibility with my creative work. If I was a single mum, and needing to hustle, I would do things differently. Let that be clear ok??

What I’m doing personally for my own integrity in this arena:

There is an in person vision I have been wanting to build for over 6 years now. That is the thing that thumps inside my chest. That is the thing I’m most afraid to do. That is the thing that I will regret not doing.

I have to ask myself whether I will have the capacity for a new venture if I am still entwined so much in online dynamics.

What I’m working through is asking myself— where am I avoiding taking a leap, because the safety of my online life keeps pulling me back?

Where am I believing the story that my creative life lives only on the internet?

Where am I clinging to the familiar for fear of the unfamiliar?

I absolutely love writing to you. I love sharing little bits on IG too. But for it to be sustainable (like it has been for 15 years!), i need to do it my way. I need the freedom to tap out for a moment, and also go bonkers and share a lot when it’s there too. I need creative freedom as part of my creative discipline.

I forget this, when I start to tell myself things like ‘well, if you don’t have paid subs on then you don’t value your work’.

You might tell yourself this too. That if you’re not monetising like others are, that means you don’t value yourself. This could be true, but it could also be a BIG FAT LIE.

I value my work a lot. I value it so much that I let it stay free and pure and unstrangled by this undercurrent of ‘well, you better post!!’. My work isn’t bound by trends. It is sovereign.

Sometimes, the best way to honour your work is to not monetise it like others do.

I know writers who are having the time of their lives migrating their entire online lives to Substack and earning incredible money. It is easy to think ‘dam I should be trying harder to do that too’.

This is the trap. Our creative paths are completely unique.

I know others who have a completely free subscription, but they are having SO much more fun, and hey, if they want to offer a product, they have a wonderful, no pressure relationship with their readers and can do that any time.

(I prefer writing on Honeycomb when it’s completely free also).

You are not living the same life as the others who are selling a certain model. Stay true to your own creative integrity.

Money made in a model that is strangling you creatively ain’t worth it. Have the faith to move towards what you know you’re here to do— not what others are selling as the gold standard.

(By the way I hope me showing you the BTS to my process helps?? Because this isn’t just about Substack- it’s about everything).

Some models work amazingly for others but not for you. For instance, books! People always say to me ‘why don’t you have an agent’ etc. I tell them— I could NOT for the life of me do traditional publishing and wait 18 months after finishing the book for it to come out. No way!!

I move too fast. I want to talk about the book immediately. 18 months later? It’s too long of a wait for me. So, traditional publishing, although offering more exposure etc… has not been a route for me. If there was a way in the future they could reduce the time it took between finishing a book and publishing, I’d think about it.

The end of a season, the start of a new one.

We’ve just had a season on Honeycomb with of a lot of activity, a lot of energy, and a very focussed message— Get your fire back. Push reset on your brand. Say what you mean. Have fun again.

It’s been regular, it’s been high energy and it’s been a lot of fun.

This is what I do. I bring big energy, I share it. Then I need to recharge. I seem to forget this again and again though.

Now? Paid subscriptions are now paused again. I won’t stop writing, I’ll just go back to the natural rhythm of Honeycomb.

Paid subscribers— You don’t need to do anything. You will simply stop being charged. You will also maintain access to the entire paid archive.

I look over my 200+ long form entries here and I see consistency. Not consistent like others, consistent like me.

There is always a sweet spot. You just have to find it and you have to be willing to try things, to admit when something doesn’t work, and to stay committed more to the gifts of your soul than to trends or popular models.

Subscription models work amazingly for some, not for others.

It’s just up to us to decide, in this vast world of online platforms and new creator models, how to maintain creative integrity especially when it is noisy.

This goes for social media, books, cafes— all of it.

Lotsa love

PK XX

If you don’t need it? Don’t read it or just completely ignore it. Free will is a wonderful thing.

You know that trend on Instagram when people say ‘everyone talks about their recent wins so here are my flops’. You know those?

I have seen several of them with the same ‘flop’.

“My screen time is 12 hours a day.”

Half the day everyday.

I mean, I know this is very extreme and probably not normal but it warrants a conversation.

I’m not calling anyone out personally. We’re grown adults— do with your phone as you wish.

But I will for sure call it our culturally. This whole “I want to be more present and less addicted to my phone but I just can’t do it!”

This. This is what needs addressing.

We are the generation of mothers raising the next generation of children, artists, leaders, builders. Are we cool with this mass phone addiction situation?

Or are we just going to keep talking about how ‘I wish I could just turn the phone off and enjoy my kids and get chickens and read more and do jigsaw puzzles with them’…..

While never actually doing it?

How long does the phone addiction go on before the kids are grown up, out of the house and you’re looking back on these formative years wondering why the hell you couldn’t get a grip on it sooner?

If your kids mirror your phone behaviours when they’re 17, would you be ok with it?

Would you be ok with them asking Claude about every single decision?

Would you be ok with them crashing out over someone else’s holiday?

Would you be ok with them diluting their intuition to almost nothing because the phone and its contents have become their guru?

Would you be ok having to wait seven full ‘just wait a minute!’s before they looked up from their phone and answered your question?

Would you be ok with their dependence? Their inability to sit still? They shrunken attention span?

Would you be ok with them making the phone their idol like you do?

Would you be ok with them giving more attention to their device than the people they love the most?

Would you be ok with social media/phone usage harming their mental health and affecting their relationships and yet they don’t have the resolve to do something about it?

Would you be ok with them consuming short form content as a habit instead of reading novels and enjoying proper art?

Would you be ok with them not knowing who they are and what they want because it’s becoming so clouded by the algorithm?

Would you be ok with them having a fully hunched posture and poor neck lymph drainage because they sit slumped 70% of the day?

Would you be ok with them not accessing much original thought because their minds are just regurgitating whatever charged up information is on their feeds?

Would you be ok with your kids living in a full on phone addiction?

If the answer to any of these is ‘no’…. Then you’ve got to make sure your personal answer to these questions is ‘no’ too.

Yes. Social media and phones are always going to be apart of our lives. Yes, we oughta teach our children how to use them well, mindfully and how to use them as tools and not become enslaved by them.

But in order to show them a healthy relationship we have to have one.

I know there are a lot of mothers out there who love their social media presence, the way they can express and make money, but also long for a life where they can just zip themselves and their families up and live an ultra present, peaceful life beyond it all.

I know there are mothers who have plans to build to a certain level and then turn it all off and go off grid.

I know there are mothers who feel trapped by it.

I am not saying you need to chuck your phone in the bin, get a dumb phone, and live as if it all doesn’t exist.

I’m saying that you must, must must must, find a relationship with it all that genuinely sits right within your soul. You must be able to say that you have a grip on it. That you are in integrity with what you value. That you are not waiting for ‘one day’ but that you are sorting it today.

If you are a full on addict, seek help.

Delete the apps for a little.

OR just engage so much more fully with your real life, address the real sh*t going on for you, so that you are not numbing/escaping through your phone.

When you are right within yourself, within your life, you will not reach for it like you do now.

Get to that place.

Not tomorrow.

Not the next day.

Today.

Decide what phone relationship you are good with.

Decide what relationship with yourself, your mind, with creativity, originality, with time and presence and people… you are good with.

Because screen time isn’t just about distracted time— it affects everything. Our ability to be with life, to be with ourselves, to think original thoughts, to be bearably bored, to listen, to enjoy moments without anxiously wondering how to share them, to know what you want VS what you think will look cool on your feed.

Decide what is in integrity for you to model for your kids.

Maybe it’s 10 mins a day 3 x a day.

Maybe it’s emails etc only on laptop/desktop.

Maybe it’s not touching it at all except for certain hours.

Maybe it’s more streamlined work, more help, or just finding the discipline not to spend hours scrolling reels when you haven’t spent that long with those you love.

I don’t have the answers for you— I am still finding them for myself.

But what I do know is that we cannot let this enormous, additive screen time become normalised. We cannot wish for our children to live peacefully, knowing their own minds, in such with their true desires, beliefs and creative genius…. Meanwhile becoming robotic with it all ourselves.

What matters even more, is that we are not letting our phone usage make us worse mums and wives. Less regulated. More impatient. Feeling like nothing is ever right and everything is always wrong and that our husbands should be more like this and our homes should look more instagrammable…..

I read Yesteryear while on holidays recently. DAM the ending. I won’t spoilt it. But it was heartbreaking and infuriating.

(If you haven’t read it, it’s about a conservative christian turned Trad wife and it draws from some popular examples in the influencer space).

One thing I wish the writer would have done differently, is make the main character more relatable to the everyday mother who is letting the phone steal too much of these precious days— too much of her energy— too much of her patience.

I imagine readers would look at the main character Natalie and think to themselves “well, she is so extreme, I am nothing like her”…. seeing her as faraway, not close enough to warrant drawing caution from.

But so many mothers, even without enormous followers, are completely entrapped by the online game. They’re desperate to be like someone else. They yell at their kids if they walk in a shot. They’re image mattering more than life between the 4 walls.

Yes, expressing online can be life changing in wonderful ways. It can be healthy, and balanced, and beautiful.

But we have to make it so.

And the hardest part of having a truly balanced life? It cannot be performed. You have to care more about living it than telling the world about it. You have to care more about how it feels than about how it looks. You have to care more that your family knows, than your audience does.

You have to care more about your actual life, than what it looks like to strangers.

It is thankless, humbling like motherhood often is.

Integrity isn’t praised a lot. That’s the whole point. It’s not praised because it’s meant to be its own reward. When your head hits the pillow each night and you can say that despite being totally imperfect, you nudged closer to a life that is fully aligned with your values.

Our kids are growing too fast.

“I’ll get a grip on it one day soon” is not soon enough.

The years are going faster.

There is too much life to be lived.

Take time to ask yourself where you’re being caught up in stuff that doesn’t matter to you, where you are dropping the ball with what does.

Ask yourself what your ‘sweet spot looks like and get yourself there.

Ask yourself which parts of your life are not your own— maybe you wanna live somewhere because instagram made it look cool.

If there were no one to showcase it all to, what would you choose differently?

You can push reset at any time.

It’s not your fault that the online world is noisy and that big tech companies manipulate your attention.

But it is 100% your responsibility with how you interact with it.

Social media is not an escape room.

You have full control of it all.

It can be a great addition to the life you’re building, but make sure it stays in its rightful place.

Do it even if nobody knows it.

Do it if nobody claps.

Do it without needing to be important or significant.

Do it without making it a program.

Do it for your own sense of integrity and because your home is completely shaped by you.

Do it so that in 5 years you can look back and say ‘no regrets’.

This is the peace we’re after.

Lotsa love, PK XX

This was one of the best holidays we’ve ever taken as a family— and considering the gallivanting we’ve done, that’s saying something.

The two family nature hotels, the food, the timing — it was all just, chef’s kiss. We spent SO much time outdoors and it was action packed but relaxing at once. We are so not a ‘lay by the pool’ kind of holiday family. We typically cut those kinds of holidays short and fly home because we’re so bored.

The flight home was rough— midday long hauls always are. But having a rough day time long haul means everyone is super tired upon arrival and adjusts better to the time change.

I have noted that many readers want the low down on the trip and specifically, more on travelling with children. That post is in the queue.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic of my last post on how social media has become like only fans but for private information. I shared a teeny snippet of the post on IG and it struck a nerve.

People are tired of knowing too much about other people.

People are tired of feeling they have to jump through hoops, cirque du Soleil styles in order to have their work seen.

People are tired of how addicted they’ve become to Instagram, and then jumping to Substack and becoming addicted to leaderboards and stats there too.

People are tired on a level that tells us there is something very un-human about the para-social nature of social media relationships.

As always, I want to write things to you that free you…. That nudge you even closer to peaceful creative integrity amidst all the noise…. That make you think a little differently.

I’m not on here to be yet another whiner. You know already that I believe that we are all grown adults with full agency. Nobody is holding a pew pew to our heads and demanding we have an online life— anyone who says otherwise is not seeing the picture fully.

I want to write things that give you your power back. That stop the looping agony and victim stories inside you.

Nobody needs to be on social media. It’s a very disempowering belief to have “I want to be off it but I’m trapped’.

You’re not trapped by the apps on your phone. You’re only trapped by your beliefs about how you need to interact with them.

You’ve absorbed too many bits of advice, too many takes, watched too many people do it too many ways and so you overthink everything about it.

The app is not trapping you— you are.

I wrote this yesterday on notes:

Social media is only noisy if you stay too long. Post and ghost my friends, post and ghost. Don’t post and lurk, forgetting that there is a whole door there you can walk out of into the beauty of your life. It’s an app on your phone, not an escape room.

I share a lot on this topic of making sure your online activity/presence is life giving for a deeper reason than you may think.

My eldest is turning 10 next year. 10. Do you know how fast that went? When I am looking at dumb ass videos online and she’s asked me three times for my attention (rare, but it happens), she calls me out.

She is soon to be a pre-teen. She, as all of our kids will, will one day, have her own relationship with her phone, with the online world, with her work, with her boundaries.

She is watching not only my phone usage, but my nervous system, my self control, my ability to live the values I preach.

I have had an online presence her entire life and I have had times where the intensity of it has swallowed my peace— I allowed it to.

This is why I constantly revisit this topic of straightening up our relationship with our online world.

Because our kids are watching. Because not everyones opinion matters the same. Because it can be life giving or it can be life sucking and you get to decide.

I write about it because I too need to hear it.

As mothers, we can’t afford to have our peace stolen by dumb stuff online, by people who truly should not be granted access to our time (impossible to try and be available to everyone regardless of how charitable you try to be). The people in our homes shouldn’t be getting second best energy.

If not disciplined, online life can really affect real life but it doesn’t have to.

And life is short.

We can’t be stuck with our heads on a screen while our life literally passes us by.

We can’t be more preoccupied with taking photos of every single moment than being there for the moment (something I learned again on my recent trip. Logged off all the apps and chucked my phone away for a while).

We’ve got to know the difference between giving energy to our body of work, and getting sucked into trying to maintain a certain image. They are very different and I know you can feel it.

After last weeks post I was thinking about this idea of performance.

While having a massage on holiday that was not deep enough for me so naturally I laid there just in deep thought rather than enjoyment but hey… it’s the luck of the draw (hotel massages always suck, by the way. My Taiwanese guy Dave at home is the best). I started thinking about this…

Are we all performing online?

Like, all of us?

Here’s what I want to give you today. It’s some raw Pk fire with the purpose of more peace and freedom for you, as always.

Some points I want to hit are:

— Are we all performing a little?

— Is performing a little just the nature of having a curated online presence?

— Are people becoming more fake and performative because we have become less tolerant of actual truth and direct honesty? YES.

— Do you really wanna go viral? Probably not. Most people want connection and to be seen instead, but their strategy is all about going viral.

— Don’t trade originality and peace for the allure of virality.

AND MORE. Raw fire. Ok let’s go.

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This illustration is a custom piece by Emily Karamihas exclusively for the Body Luxury book.

I’m writing this while flying home to Australia after two months travelling with my husband and three young kids.

We spent two weeks in Japan, two weeks in Florida, two weeks in Tennessee, and two weeks in Lake Tahoe. We stopped in LA for a few days as usual but that was just so we could get maximum sun to adjust our circadian rhythms. Oh and also, so I could bomb $700 on a Erewhon delivery including my favourite Ophora Water.

Being able to load up on the boujee wellness-girl- goodies was a welcome treat after two weeks in Japan where we fully embraced the deliciousness that is Japanese food. We didn’t scour the streets for health food stores, ask the waiters whether the meat was grass fed, grass finished beef, make sure the vegetables were organically grown vegetables, or desperately try to avoid plastics.

The most important nutrient for us was enjoyment, connection and the aliveness of new experience.

For me, not much brings me alive as much as walking into a new cafe or bookstore. This is an energy boost that not even an hour in a hyperbaric chamber can mimic.

Travel has a way of simplifying wellness, doesn’t it? We might have a supreme set up at home— sauna, red light, vibration plate, whole house water filter— but we don’t take it with us. We could but do we want to?

As someone who is for sure a creature of comfort and with a very impressive wellness set up at home, I love how travel strips us of our dependencies and makes us see wellness through a simplified lens.

It shows us that wellness is actually much simpler than we thought. It shows us where we have made an idol of our perfected wellness regime. It shows us whether we truly have faith in our body, our vitality, our resilience or we if we believe we will only feel good after an very expensive 11 step morning routine.

A few years ago, I wrote this:

Wellness minimalism is the real flex.

The flex used to be ‘look at all my fancy supplements and modalities and how knowledgeable I am to use them’… but as you mature out of that false reliance, you learn that your vitality isn’t mostly because of your high maintenance regime-- it’s how you’re using your mind and your words, how you resolve conflicts, how you’re using your God given gifts, how you narrow in on the work and people in front of you to love. You can be dropped in a country town with no boujee natural store or organic farmers market and know that you’ll be good. The more vital and free you become, the less reliant you become too. It all becomes simpler. It becomes about faith, not anxiety dressed up as wellness.

(Disclaimer: Now let be clear, I’m talking here about people who are relatively well, not people who are moving through physical conflicts who in fact do need a very delicate environment in order to heal).

Travel gives us a masterclass in wellness minimalism.

On this trip, I packed a small red light and a warm plug in light so that I could dim the lights for my kids in the many locations we travelled to. It didn’t always work out. But it was a small little thing that I felt made a big difference.

I packed a small amount of supplements, but for most of the trip I didn’t use them.

I packed those emergency crunchy gal things like Activated Charcoal and a full homeopathic first aid kit.

Instead of using any lymph device, I jumped up and down and did ‘the big 6’ lymph points whenever I remembered.

We did our best with their water situation, buying in glass bottles where we could but not freaking out where we couldn’t. There was no worrying about the quality of the full cream milk when ordering a coffee.

At certain airbnbs, I bought stainless steel cookware for our time there because we were in each one for two weeks so it felt like an appropriate investment when cooking for three kids.

I bought epsom salts, bicarb and bentonite clay for restorative baths for us all.

We got sunlight, we enjoyed lots of different food, I worked out a little differently to my normal routine but let that be ok.

I went and took a couple of ‘hot’ classes so I could get a smaller dose of the sauna I’d usually get at home but I didn’t plan our trip around it, especially with kids.

We got adjusted by a chiro towards the end of our trip because Lake Tahoe is like a second home for us and we have family members who are chiropractors.

None of this felt like a big wellness effort, but a natural and effortless adjustment to the standards I already embody— no stress. No paranoia. Simple standards to support our systems without being neurotic.

I know now which things move the needle, and which are superfluous, wellness consumerism add-ons because oh boy have I fallen for too many of those!

Needle movers:

Sunlight.

Honesty.

Lymph.

Warmth/sweat.

Movement.

Good food.

Good times.

Joy and creative expression.

The most important thing was there was no worry, no neurotic avoidance of fun and joy because of fear of a little plastic or seed oils or where the bed sheets were bought.

I know after years of being a wellness fanatic, that stress + paranoia is the worst toxin of all and that relaxing and enjoying can go further than obsessing over every thing.

I believe many millennial wellness girlies swing the pendulum so far one way and then are brought back to a more life giving balance.

Time abroad has been one of the most balancing, life giving gifts for my wellness philosophy.

I have travelled extensively with my young family. We’ve lived in four countries. Five years ago, we bought and renovated a 60 acre organic farm in Northern Italy (never been sprayed, ever!). We restored it based on building biology principles so it became a gorgeous classic Piedmontese X Non toxic haven.

On our many trips and time spent in Italy, it slowly changed me. It softened the very pedantic wellness girlie in me and helped me mature into a women who could enjoy life, beauty, and understand wellness through the lens of older Italian women.

I lived how the Italian women lived. They didn’t know what infrared was. They sill had overhead lights and didn’t have special warm lightbulbs to turn on after the sun went down.

Their approach to wellness was simple— cook real food with local ingredients, eat with family daily, walk a lot, maintain long term friendships and meet each morning at the Gelateria for a croissant and cappuccino, maintain traditions, eat slowly, ensure aesthetic beauty is part of your diet too and most importantly? Enjoy. They weren’t flipping the labels of the Nutella in their Crai Supermarkets checking for seed oils because it didn’t matter. Their foundations were so solid, unchanging, life giving— they didn’t have to be neurotic about ‘wellness’.

I love optimising. I love vitality maxing. If there’s a crunchy convo happening, I’m right in there.

I love living as close to nature as possible.

But over the years through much personal experimentation, study and life experience— I started asking myself the question— is excessive wellness consumerism really us living close to nature?

If I had so much faith in nature, in God’s good design for the human body, but was this reflecting in my life?

Did I really believe that I could be vital and vibrant and resilient without a neurotically perfect wellness set up?

Was the wellness world making people as dependent as Big Pharma did?

My gosh, had we all ditched Big Pharma, only to replace it with Big Wellness?

Over the last few years though, I started to realise that my devotion to the perfect wellness regime wasn’t always just me having high standards. Some of it was my hypervigilance and eldest daughter perfectionism finding a convenient place to hide. I wanted everything to be just right.

A wellness journey that was meant to give more freedom, was actually making me more rigid. Maintaining it was creating a whole other poison— stress.

What has happened to the modern wellness minded woman? We have become mass wellness consumers. Wellness companies only make money if we are always wanting the next best thing. And we do. We learn so much about what red light, or astaxanthin does for us, and so little about how God truly designed out bodies…about how our minds are the most importent wellness instrument we have… about sunlight and how insanely powerful it is for all of our bodily systems… about how our symptoms are all linked to a conflict in our psyche, and how important faith is for vitality.

When we are wellness consumers, living as if our vitality depends on always having the next popular thing, we are not as free as we think.

We forget that the whole point of health is life— to be more free to live and give to the people and things we love.

Many of us get stuck in the part where we are relentless optimising and we forget to live.

To the reader, I want to say this:

Sometimes, wellness obsession doesn’t make you more free, it puts you on high alert. You are always scanning to ensure your environment is one in which you can thrive, that you have the last gadgets and know about the newest threats… having more knowledge does not always mean more freedom.

Millennial wellness girlies proudly ditched Big Pharma but traded it for Big Wellness. You believe you need every new gadget and supplement that comes out. Having the perfect conditions has become your idol. You worship the wellness industry as if it gave you the remarkable, self healing body. You forget about the love and intelligence that sustained you while you were in the womb and that wakes you up every single day.

You forgot that you loved dancing to EDM.

You forgot that you loved reading fiction and not just endless guides to more perfection.

You forgot that your mind will do more for you than your unhinged routine ever will.

You forgot that you are safe to actually live.

You forgot that the whole point of the wellness journey is to live life more fully.

Vitality means being able to give yourself fully to who and what you love.

The health journey wasn’t meant to be another way you prove yourself to be a good girl— always proving, never living.

Do what brings you alive. Put on a playlist from your glory rave days and watch it give you more energy than a PEMF mat ever could.

The point of the wellness industry is meant to be ALIVENESS, not dependency.

Over the years I taught and wrote about my evolving wellness philosophy and I called it Body Luxury— a new way of being, where wellness girlies finally mature and relax, where woman meets vitality meets God.

When we mature out of wellness consumerism, we don’t throw away all of our beloved practices and products, we just don’t become mindless consumers of everything that’s on offer. We don’t buy things out of fear, or because we think we’ll crumble without them.

Find your own sweet spot, where wellness minimalism meets the joy of experiencing all of the new, cool discoveries in the wellness world.

Don’t forget that the point of our wellness journey is more life, not less.

If you want more Body Luxury in your life, and you want it in gorgeous, luxury print form….. you can buy the most beautiful coffee table book in the world titled Body Luxury here.

Pk XXX

Pictured below is me and the most beautiful book ever at Hanks, Franklin Tennessee earlier this year.

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You may notice this piece of writing feels a bit different than usual. It’s because I’m in full holiday mode with the kids and Erik and out of my routine writing rhythm.

We’ve adjusted to the time change, thanks to long and active days outside and our sunrise walks.

I am the PR girl for the sun. Every morning back home I walk around the house with my morning chant of ‘kids, morning sun!!’

The sun just does so much for us. If you get the sun right, you can live a truly minimalist life when it comes to wellness. No faffy wellness routines needed.

This morning on our way back from our walk, we came across an old Italian man— he was getting the morning sun on his morning walk, while praying the rosary. His ‘buongiorno’ smelled like his morning ciggy.

We’re back to that sweet rhythm of knowing what time it is because of the church bells. I enjoy croissants and cappuccinos for breakfast without the voice in my ear of ‘protein. More protein.’

Ahh, this is what I’ve missed.

There is an aura about Italy that can barely be explained.

We haven’t been back to Italy for 3 years. This feels blasphemous for me and perhaps why I felt such an urge to book a trip with two weeks notice. Someone is renting our home in Northern Italy and so it also feels strange that we can’t go and stay there.

But we are loving being back in Italy. It feels so much like home.

I booked this trip on two weeks’ notice. You know those moments where it’s just full YOLO? We’ve been talking about the Dolomites for ages and so, why not?

I live for these moments because they collapse rigid, overly logical thinking and allow… life.

Rogue, wild, adventurous, exciting, beautiful life.

Booking a spontaneous trip to the Dolomites for my family was an excellent use of free will.

I honestly think we forget about free will. Even the most ‘free thinkers’ forget about their free will many times throughout the days, weeks, months and years.

We forget that we can just do things. We can change things. We can stop giving energy to things, or we can start.

The original gift God gave us was life, as human beings, with free will.

Sometimes we need to jolt ourselves alive by using it how we really wanna use it. Not waiting for a letter in the mailbox to validate every desire we have. Not measuring our entire life by someone else’s ideas of correct/incorrect.

We packed hand luggage for this trip, and I remembered back to a time when we used to pack for overseas and I’d have half a suitcase just full of wellness things. Over the years, as I have relaxed, and embodied what I call Body Luxury, I’ve become more of a wellness minimalist— less faff, more of the simple vitality maxing as designed by God— sun, movement, faith, good use of the mind and imagination.

The most important ‘wellness thing’ you can pack in your suitcase is this: perceiving yourself as someone who is vital and resilient and doesn’t need pristine conditions in order to thrive.

You can read all about it in my book here.

I’m going to write a whole post about the Dolomites for you when i get home— because it is really heaven when you want a family centred, nature based experience. Let me know if you’d be keen for this (or anything related to family centred travel).

Here’s your chance to ask your questions on the entire family-centered-travel before I do!

I will wait until our trip to be done before I share details etc too, naturally.

Which is the perfect segue to what I’m about to riff on, with the intention (always) of inviting us all into more freeing, calming, peaceful creative integrity.

Staying private while being authentic online is a dance many of us know.

Social media is becoming like Only Fans, only people are prostituting personal information, their most vulnerable moments, most tender beliefs in order to get views and engagement.

People assume they need to share their most controversial views and share very personal details of their inner world in order to be ‘authentic’…

But when does this become undignified, desperate and even dangerous to have thousands of strangers knowing and commenting on things that were not meant to leave your intimate world?

I have been on Instagram for 15 years, shortly. YIKES. I’ve been building a ‘brand’ for 13-14 of those years.

I have grown very slowly and organically— especially by today’s measures! I have had lengthy Instagram breaks, especially around the births of my children.

I married an amazing man who was the face of an enormous company back then (of which i was also apart)— which meant that I was highly scrutinised for many years.

Sometimes, my posts were reported to people within the company because my rogue Aussie voice was sometimes a bit … rogue. (I was young, ok?!)

I have endured online pile-ons from people in my home town and general pile ons that come from speaking about controversial things like, the covid Vax right when it was all going down. I don’t need to get into it all—all this just to say— I have had to learn the art of both having an honest and meaningful voice online while protecting what is sacred to me.

I have refined my voice over the years, stopped using swear words online thanks to maturation and the Holy Spirit (for the most part at least— Aussies have a much higher tolerance for colourful language than Americans do. We don’t find all of the same words offensive and this is a legitimate culture difference. TRUST ME I KNOW).

But I’ve had to find my own way, establish my own boundaries, and be clear on what I’m willing to share/not willing to share.

I’ve also learned a lot about the dynamic of, say, when your art becomes monetized like with the paid subscription here on Substack— and how this model is amazing for some, but absolutely not the best for everyone.

Sometimes when we go ‘paid’, it ushers us from sharing high quality content, to high volume content. Both are perfectly fine models according to your goals… but we’ve got to be clear inside about what we’re actually doing and why.

I’m going to riff on this here .

Also, I’m going to share:

— boundaries I have regarding who and what I share

— thoughts I have around the current state of social media

— how to make sure authenticity is not a performance

— how to keep your corner of the internet original and life giving

— how to not become a prostitute of your most personal information for validation, and how this is similar to OnlyFans, just emotional (yes, it is)

— some questions to help you decide whether it’s time to get off IG or stay on because I know many wrestle with it

Ok let’s go.

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Yes, I know— kids, cousins, grandparents, family, lifelong friends.

That’s exactly why we keep coming back.

Even though I know we’re not all meant to build our lives around the place we come from. We only need to look back at our ancestors and their migration patterns to see the naturalness of it, and also the necessity of it sometimes. I’m an Aussie married to an American— migration was always on both of our bingo cards.

I mean, it’s a luxurious part of Australia. The weather is better than anywhere else in the world— no exaggeration. It is sunny most everyday— winters are very mild, but enough of a change that you get a break from the long, hot, dry summers. I love the long, mediterranean style summers. Hot yes, but dry hot. I lived in Arizona when I first moved to the states and that’s a whole other level of hot. Everyone always goes on about the dangerous animals in Aus but when i lived in Arizona, we had to check our toilet paper and bed sheets for scorpions.

It’s isolated geographically in this little corner of Australia, which has it’s pros and cons. Close to Asia, far from everywhere else. It’s very clean, mostly. The entire city runs along the coast. The beaches are insanely beautiful— more beautiful than anywhere I’d argue. There are parks everywhere.

My mum herself has always described our home town as ‘an amazing place to raise kids, just not my vibe’.

This place is the home of friends I have had for most of my life and of course, it is home to my family of origin. My mum, my dad, my two sisters, my niece and nephew. My brother lives abroad.

It’s where my mother grew up, where my nanna grew up and where her mother grew up. My great grandfather helped build this city with his bare hands.

It’s also home to so many of my memories— good memories, and tough ones. I drive by certain spots and feel sweet, happy nostalgia and I drive by other spots and feel instantly down— like my body remembers a time when I was in the grips of anxiety.

This place, my birth home, it feels comfortable, familiar, easy, nice and safe.

It will always be home in the sense of origins.

But it’s not expansive.

It feels like a place of duty, responsibility and heritage…

but not growth.

After school, I went straight into university in my home town. It was my dream uni because it had one of the best programs for sports/exercise science in the world. It was even in the top 100 universities globally. Unlike in America, it’s quite common for kids in Aus to go to university at home.

I did take a gap year though, but it wasn’t until after my undergraduate degree. I went to Melbourne for a year and then came home to do my honours research.

I then left home again a few years later to move to the USA — to be with my now husband.

Since then as a family we have lived on both coasts of Australia, the USA, London and also Italy for several summers (we bought and renovated a Piedmontese farmhouse in 2021— on 60 acres of ‘never-been-sprayed’ land. We touched it up according to building biology standards, making it a designer X non toxic home. Unrelated, but I just love talking about that house. Renters are in it and I miss it so much).

We tend to come home to this part of Australia, my origin home, when we have a baby— there is such a naturalness to the pull to want to be around family in those precious young years and I am so happy that it’s what we’ve done.

Some days though I become frustrated because I feel such tension within me — between this longing to be away again in an environment/dynamic better suited to us, and the desire to be around family.

But we have chosen exactly this life.

We have chosen this rhythm. We have chosen to spread our wings and live abroad. We have chosen to come home to the nest and cocoon in seasons where we need comfort, familiarity and support.

I wouldn’t change any of it looking back.

But what I wrestle with inside is this— do I want to live here, or do I feel I need to live here?

What is desire Vs what is duty?

We are all happy, and live a beautiful family centered life. But I also know it’s time for me to reach a new stage of maturation— to unwind even more from my self imposed ‘eldest daughter’ duty and step into an even more aligned design for my beautiful little fam.

Astrologists will tell you that my loop-de-loops are to be expected. Between my leo sun, gemini rising and my cancer moon there are no surprises with my migration patterns.

The leo sun wants to be seen, which to be honest is not always straightforward in your home town.

The gemini rising wants novelty and is endlessly curious (not a flaw, by the way!).

The cancer moon is very connected to home, loyal, and emotional in this way.

Look, I am no astrologer and I don’t need anyone to tell me of the tension inside— i know it intimately.

I know that sometimes when we’re living away, I feel anxious about something happening back at home. What if I’m not there? What if I can’t help? There is an eldest daughter dutifulness that has lead a lot of my life.

And at some point I had to stop letting the scared little girl inside lead my life.

I have learned that you can only expand to the degree that your most vulnerable part inside can feel safe. You can have all the resources in the world to live an expansive life, but if there is a little girl inside who is still terrified of what will happen if she leaves her family, you will always lassoo back to your safe zone.

That is, of course, unless you can hug that little girl, look her in the eyes, and tell her that everything is ok. It’s not all her job anymore. You’re a woman now, and you have beautiful children of your own.

Sometimes we have to go back and get her, rescue her from the position she’s in— she’s still sitting there in my childhood bedroom, 8 years old, she’s hugging her knees, worried, weight of the world on her shoulders.

I’m 38 now, but this scared little girl is the part that’s not always ready to come along to the new thing.

We can only expand to the degree our most scared and vulnerable part can feel safe.

I know that there are many modern day mothers wrestling with this— where should I live? Is it enough to live where I was raised? Am I myself here? What matters the most when raising children? Is it to be around their extended family, or is it that the central family unit is thriving even if it means moving away? I am sure we could sit with a cuppa and chat about this for hours. I sure could! I have lived it for 9 years— ever since I was pregnant with my first baby in the USA and we were deciding whether to have her on my home soil.

Sometimes I hear in my head the voices of certain people— whether it’s a random quote I saw online, or a conversation I had with the local Orthodox Priest. I hear things like “Just be grateful where you are” and “The most important thing for kids is growing up with the love of their grandparents”.

But it’s not those voices that are the loudest in me.

I don’t live dictated by the voices of others.

I do, however live dictated by the parts of me that are not yet matured.

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I’ve got a movement recommendation for you + a great book rec.

Then I’ve gotta get onto writing the piece for this week.

A quick note before we get into it— for the next few weeks, I’m going to be posting once weekly instead of twice as we will be travelling overseas as a family. I’ll prioritise the pieces for paid subs during this time.

My hands/wrists need a little break from the keyboard too- hot dam! I’ve realised that the bike incident only exacerbated an already underlying thing— BOTH of my hands/wrists have been incredibly tender the last couple of weeks. Originally I thought— ok, it’s just an overuse thing. I’ve been writing a lot (which is an awkward position for the wrists to be in for hours) lifting weights, and then all of mum life.

But then, after digging in, I realised that my wrists/hands were both in a healing phase— the resolution of a conflict. And yep— without getting into the nitty gritty of the specific conflict, it all made so much sense. The bike incident was funny timing because it made me pay closer attention to something that was already going on. It slowed me so that i’d actually pay attention, rather than push through.

Life is amazing like that.

So, let’s get into this week’s weekly honey without further adieu so I can get writing my piece for the week and then put these wrists to work packing for myself and the kids (hand luggage only! Yes! It’s the goal! ) for our trip ahead. Erik packs himself obviously.

What I’m loving:

Bowspring.

I resisted bowspring for many years (I clearly wasn’t ready to face my posture and all of the emotions underneath it). Also, I used to really resist slow movements. I wanted sweaty, productive movements only. My fellow turbo ladies know what I mean. Sometimes, we’re just not there.

Bow is a method of movement that has been circling me for many years— I suppose because my algorithm is full of women who seek truth, integrity and freedom. I’ve had IG followers ask me ‘whether I’d started bowspring yet’ for a while. I suppose they know where the yellow brick road leads ;)

This movement method is very niche right now but will blow up in the next few years— as will anything to do with the fascia.

The Bowspring method/algorithm contradicts a lot of mainstream advice (eg, the advice to tuck your hips) so traditional fitness coaches hate to see it coming.

I remember many, many years ago after my exercise physiology/ biomechanics days, learning somewhere in my rogue personal research about how African women stand correctly— It might have been sparked around the time we were working closely with The Unstoppable Foundation to build schools in Kenya… The beautiful Kenyans in their traditional dress (Maasai!) sent me and Erik a video celebrating the birth of our first child Sol. They held up a blanket that had been blessed with milk and they then had that blanket sent to us for her. It was so very special.

Anyway I digress.

African women stand differently— I’d say they stand properly. Their tummies are allowed to fall forward with their bums out.

Western women however are taught constantly to tuck their bums, and are trained across various movement methods with the goal of always having a ‘flat stomach’. Many are scared to death of having an anterior pelvic tilt.

But this advice of ‘tucked pelvis’ has caused a lot of issues with the western women’s posture— one of them? Pelvic floor issues.

But deeper than that? It affects her posture in the world.

I remember all those years ago observing the posture of African women thinking to myself:

African women stand like they know who they are. Western women shrink like they don’t.

Yeh it’s always that deep with me. Always ;)

In essence, Bowspring re-patterns your fascia and corrects misalignments that have taken root since we were very little. I’m not sure how into fascia you are, but if you’re not already? Get into it. Strength training etc is important for us yes yes yes but we all know that our issues are in the tissues (I remember certain massages I’ve had in my hips that had me wailing like a baby! Not due to the pain, but because of all the emotion trapped there).

Tending to your fascia will change your life— not just physically, but your whole life. Emotions will come unstuck, you will learn how to HOLD yourself, to stand tall, to stop outsourcing your agency to others.

It’s also very helpful for sleep — not just for you but for your babes.

There are a lot of good fascia teachers about (feel free to comment them in the comments!) but today I’m sharing specifically about Bowspring.

Some resources for Bowspring:

— The Open Posture Doc on IG (she has an entire workout program now)
— Amanda Cepeda has a very basic introduction on her site here
— Kori Meloy, Molly Peralta and Michele Chatham have offering that include Bow.

What I’m reading (but also a recommendation):

Ok I have read SEVEN books on Mt Everest in the last few weeks. I am a backseat savant now— which means I’d do great at a trivia night but have literally never worn crampons.

I know all the stories and all the stats, am in total awe of the moutaineering world and yet I have zero desire to step foot on Everest after all that I’ve read, especially now it’s become such an industry. I am about ready to lay this fixation down now guys. This is probably the last time I’ll mention it.

So, today I want to give a recommendation from my bookshelf. It’s a book I read a couple of years ago that I LOVED.

Never Enough: From Barista to Billionaire. By Andrew Wilkinson.

It is a business masterclass (truly!) as well as a sobering reminder that the relentless pursuit of more, is hollow. For those who have had success, and feel pressured to keep earning big money despite the fact that you are just NOT motivated by that anymore? You’ll love this book. It highlights that yes, the endless pursuit for more more more is hollow and that you’ve got to find a deeper, richer motivation. Even if you have not built the monetary success you want yet? This book is still a great read and it might help straighten things out for you.

What I’m excited about:

Upcoming trip with my family! Also…. The hub I have been talking about (for 5 years)? We are making moves. More on that later. I am mindful not to spill all publicly because I have a lot of private conversations to have first.

What I’m writing:

Today I’m writing about growing up from family of origin dynamics and living the life that is actually yours. I will specifically be going hard for eldest daughters— is it time to stop over identifying with that title and becoming a thriving mother now? Is it time to stop worshipping the burden? Is it time to draw a line in the sand and become who you truly are and not the little girl who still feels she needs to earn every bit of goodness, every bit of love, including God’s? We’re going there.

The unglamorous bit:

Real life— The last week has been a big week of emotional processing and I’ve needed to slow way down. Not fun, but essential, especially when you’ve lived a life being very good at numbing certain emotions that have felt too big to feel.

Ok!

Deep line to end on there ;)

Paid subs, be on the look out for a new piece later this week.

Lotsa love,

PK oxo

Before I go on, I’ve linked these older posts for context. You don’t need to click now, but for those interested in more of my journey they might be interesting that’s all.

Does God give hints about the true nature of healing and disease in The Bible? From 2024. One of my favourite ones ever.

My imperfect faith and why many are yearning for God ( My views have changed since this piece but I still think it’s good context as to my curious and honest process).

Ok let’s dig into this beast of a topic!!

If you are like me and you have been both in new age and Christian circles, you will have heard these words:

“Manifesting is demonic.”

You will probably have heard things like “yoga is demonic” too.

You may even know someone who thinks two coffees a day is demonic, or any music other than worship music is demonic. I get messages frequently telling me that homeopathy is demonic.

Strange, because I have witnessed straight up miracles with homeopathy— people who have healed years of buried trauma and illness no other form of medicine came close to improving. In many cases, it was the answer to their prayers.

I saw an article recently about yoga saving a woman’s life from anorexia. I haven’t read it all but sharing it here.

There is a lot in this world that is demonic— I mean, Hollywood, S** trafficking, to barely scratch the surface. There is real, nasty, abhorrent evil in this world. Don’t we bloody know it.

Which is why it’s lazy to throw the word ‘demonic’ around like it’s harmless.

Some people are so heavy handed with their use of the term 'demonic' for anything vaguely mystical. It has become tiresome. It loses its charge. Just like when people overuse words like racist and bigot — those words used to carry incredibly heavy weight, now people use them with every second breath and so they lose their power when used properly.

People have become lazy with their words and narrow with their minds.

People who are a little between worlds— who maybe believe in Jesus Christ but also believe in the energetic nature of the universe (neither of which are in competition), may have an underlying little conflict when it comes to this chat.

When you really see beyond all indoctrination, and allow yourself to go beyond the confines of religious dogma, you arrive at a very natural place— you see how the world around us was designed and how are are to fully participate with it.

We have decades of evidence that belief changes outcomes, and nobody argues about it in these contexts.

Listen before I go on, I KNOW that my readers have spent YEARS understanding these concepts so please know I’m not sharing this so as to school you. I know you are not new to this (you will love the specifics though once we get into them later in this post!!).

I’m sharing this little intro here because I just know there are readers who are secretly conflicted in this area.

Take the placebo effect. Someone is given a sugar pill, told it’s medicine, and their body responds — pain decreases, symptoms improve, sometimes significantly. Not because the pill did anything though— because their belief did something. They expected it. Nobody calls that demonic because it’s one of the most well-documented phenomena in medicine.

Or take an athlete before the Olympics. They visualise their race in great detail, followed by them standing on the podium. They do this so that their mind and body and entire energetic being (cos that’s what we are!) are rehearsing and fully expecting that result to happen. It’s an old technique used by many of the greats. Nobody calls that witchcraft. We call it training.

Think about the self-fulfilling prophecy. My mum used to say this all the time when we were kids— ‘don’t say that, you’ll make it a self fulfilling prophecy!’. If you keep repeating stories about yourself, or about the world, and they become your unwavering convictions— You’re going to see more and more of them.

This is why when poor people win the lotto, they usually go back to being poor. Why? They had the money, but not the identity to hold it. “We’re poor people who got lucky” is the honest perception. And so life then bends to that perception. It’s why people who have rock solid perceptions of themselves as wealthy, could lose it all tomorrow and rebuild no problem.

So when I pray for something and I actually let myself feel what it would be like if it were already true — that’s not a spooky ritual. It’s the same mechanism. I’m just calling it what it is: prayer, participated in fully, with my whole self, not just my words.

We all know that the universe we live in is marvellous beyond comprehension. Nature itself bamboozles us so much with it’s intelligence that it’s hard to argue with the idea of a loving Creator (at least for me).

So when we do this lazy lumping— like ‘all conscious creation is just witchcraft’… it’s just that— lazy.

Consciously aligning your thoughts with what you want, making sure your beliefs are in integrity with the life you’re most called to, ensuring your expectations and habits match up with where you wanna go— I wouldn’t even call this woo woo (and I’m a first class science gal my pals).

Our imaginations are a gift from God that we oughta use well.

We are using them all the time. Sometimes, we’re making up bizarre stories about other people, or picturing worst case scenario in full high definition pixels. If you believe in using your imagination to worry? You better believe in your imagination to create beauty, goodness, vitality. Using our imaginations only to create drama is lazy.

When you imagine something with enough oomph, with enough consistency and with enough emotional power and conviction? You will experience it in your reality.

Is this not a form of prayer? Using a gift God gave you for benefit rather than drama?

This is a basic creative mechanism, GIFTED to us by God. Let me emphasise that word— GIFTED to us by God.

So where I stand? is rather than live as if we are puppets, waiting to be moved around like chess piece, we actually use our God given faculties to:

Exercise your free will to be fully coherent inside with the life you say you want and the life you MUST participate in creating.

Align your thoughts and expectations with beautiful outcomes.

Consciously choose to feel in your body the naturalness of what it is you want.

I’m not going to give a full backstory of my faith journey— you can comb back through my Substack if you’re interested and you’ll be able to trace the journey— from my days of very open minded spirituality, to Christ, to the muddled politicised christianity, then PHEW…. onto to the true freedom of Jesus beyond all the propaganda.

ALRIGHT now LETS GO.

Today I’m going to write about:

a) Full raw riff on what I believe is the sweet spot between honouring our creator and also REACHING OUT AND GRABBING WHAT WE WANT BY THE KAHUNAS OK BECAUSE THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS WITHIN OK? Yes. All caps.

b) How to pray as a participant, not as a beggar with empty words and no real faith.

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On the weekend, I went riding with my youngest, Figgy on the back of our 3 seater electric bike. When I stood to wait to cross the road, the heavy bike tipped. It really is such a HEAVY bike— Three seats with a solid toddler on the back end. I caught the entire bike with my left hand to cushion the fall for figgy (which I did, hallelujiah, she was totally fine).

But ouchy for my left hand and wrist.

I’ve broken this wrist before, when I was 13 playing netball. I was taken to the first aid tent where they assessed me and told me it couldn’t be broken because I could move it. Later that night, it was hurting bad, so mum took me in and as I suspected, it was broken in two places. I remember my brother saying to me as we left for the hospital— “It better be broken with all the whinging you’ve been doing!”. I was glad to return to the house with a cast and validation.

But then, after 5 weeks in a full arm cast, the doctor took it off, only to tell me they’d set it wrong. So, lucky me had to have double the cast time. My wrist has always felt a teeny but munted after that— I can’t pull my fingers back as far as my right one. But, it’s never stopped me doing anything.

My husband made me an ice bath to dunk it in, which was SO painful my gosh. My pain threshold is so high. I barely made a peep during my three home births. But when it comes to cold? I am a total wimp.

I am actually a little suss on ice treatment because if the body is trying to send blood to the injured area, why are we trying to do the opposite with ice?

Anyway all that to say my typing pace is slower but I have a ripper of a post lined up for Thursday and I am chomping to finish it…. So onwards we go.

Something I’ve been thinking about a lot this week (aside from Mt Everest because how come I’m so obsessed?) is what it really means to be on fire again.

So many millennials are in a ‘pivot’ right now. I call it a pivot, but is it really? Is it that we took the long road home and now we’re finally pulling into the driveway?

Are you noticing it too? As millennials approach 40, they (we!) are making really good, life giving changes to not just their ‘work’ but their whole lives, including where they live and how they live.

They’re wanting to right the wrongs of the last decade with regards to where they’re out of alignment. I read something about 39 being the average age for a pivot.

It makes sense right? The 20’s are about trial and error, The 30’s, I sense are full of a lot of ‘shoulds’. We become parents (or not yet), we perhaps come back to the home town after years of living abroad, we realise that what we were working on maybe isn’t it anymore, we realise that dam, we’re almost 40, have I been cruising? Is this life really my own?

I also believe something happens as our kids grow, and we gain in our personal capacity— we have the energy to really change beyond our cozy comfort zone.

When I say that millennials are on fire again, I don’t mean that frantic, over caffeinated, impulsive, unsustainable ‘fire’ that is channelled towards our phones and our online image.

You know what I’m talking about and this is not what I mean.

When I talk about being ‘on fire again’, is this:

Making sure our lives are our own.

We want to feel on fire again, but not like in 2016.

We have children now. We’re grown. It has to be all new.

You know what I wanna feel when I say I want to feel on fire again?

That I am living focussed only on what really matters to me.

All those tentacle like distractions that held importance in other seasons? Gone.

Every night when my head hits the pillow I know I used those 24 hours in a way I’m proud of.. rarely getting dragged under by tides that are not mine.

That I can look around my life and say yes, this is mine. These are my choices. This is the life that i’ll look back on when I’m 70 and have no regrets. I want to live in an even crisper sense of personal integrity in this way.

Radical self responsibility instead of endless drama and never ending healing.

Relaxed, embodied vitality instead of performative wellness theatre.

Direct, loving and honest instead of spineless, agreeable and ‘nice’.

Precise, focussed, low screen time instead of scrolling disguised as work.

High personal agency, so we don’t resent everyone around us for not compensating

Doing the honest, hard thing instead of the safe, comforting thing.

It’s living where it is right for your family, not where it’s right on paper.

Telling the truth about what we believe now rather than performing an identity that’s done.

Lower screen time. Yes, way lower, but way more precise. More honest. More focussed. More elegant.

It means doing what I know I need to do regardless of how hard, or brave— not making every choice about safety and avoiding what I fear.

It’s simplifying— all those clothes that still remain in my wardrobe even after 15 clean outs? Never worn? Representing an identity that isn’t me anymore? Symbolic of all I am clinging to that won’t allow me to go forward? All the stuff I keep because it’s too good to donate but I can’t be bothered selling? The ‘stuck’ stuff? Time to move it on.

Leading as the mother on a whole new level, in a whole new sense of embodiment— remembering always that the children swim in the waters of the parents, especially the mother in early years and that the dynamic of the family matters more than any of the ‘good on paper’ stuff like good school, or alternative school, or hybrid homeschool coop. The family dynamic matters the most for a childs wellbeing.

Our well-being signals safety for our children. This is why so many millennial mothers are pivoting— new homes, new dynamics, new commitment to vitality, new boundaries, untangling from family drama and entering into all new sovereignty as a family….

You can live a life that looks good on paper but you will know the truth by how your home is. (More to come on this. Could go all day).

What we’re all chomping for is to be doing the pure, honest work of our souls… the natural work.. the joyful work… the meaningful work…. Not ruled by moods, or feelings but work that feels as natural as breathing. Delegating appropriately. Not doing things others way. Taking back full reigns of creative territory. Watch my class if you wanna go deep on this.

You see?

When I say that we are on fire again…

I’m not talking about becoming On FiRe and going viral and being up at 11pm smashing away at the keyboard….

I’m talking about a life that is completely your own… that is right for your family.. a creative life that supports your home, and a vital life for all within your territory.

This may mean a pivot.

It may just mean pruning.

Not just your creative life— your whole life.

Like, do you wanna scrap coaching and become a mountaineer you know?

I LIVE FOR THESE PIVOTS…. the ones where grab life by the balls and move faithfully towards what we know is the truest life.

In essence, this publication is all about ushering you towards a life— creative, home, body and a life in your mind that feels like it is your own. It is sovereign. It is excellent. It is beautiful. It is life giving for you and your children who are sustained by your wellbeing. It is not persuaded by the tides of culture or by the many temptations of life in this time. It is rich. It is holy. It is natural. It is vital. It is embodied.

I wanted to clarify that because I do not want us frantic. I want us breathing deeply. Soaking it in. As peaceful as we are invigorated.

So this weeks honey:

What I’m loving:

Walking. No phone, no audio book/podcast in my ears. I won’t be working out for a couple of weeks (because of my hand/wrist) so it’s all about that walking life now. My kids and I go for a scoot to get the morning sun, and then I had out for a morning walk. It feels really good to just simplify my movement to walking for now.

Meat stock. I put some lamb in the crockpot and it’s slow cooking in the oven. My kids have had a super good winter, but Sol is a touch under the weather/in a healing phase and so boosting them all with some meat stock. My good friend Dr Jen Floreani (she wrote ‘How to have well adjusted babies’), got me onto meat stock Vs bone broth a while back. Super rich in nutrients and less likely to create a histamine reaction.

What I’m reading:

I finished three mountain books last week, and ordered three more. I am obsessed. No new books this week, although one I want to mention that I spied on my shelf was:

Excellence Wins, by Horst Schulze.

He’s the co-founder of The Ritz Carlton . It talks about his approach to excellence and company culture. I LOVE this stuff. I finished it win 24 hours. Made me want to start a boutique nature family wellness resort, not gonna lie.

What I’m excited about:

I booked my family a last minute (two week lead time) trip across the world to be in the mountains. Any guesses where? I love these spontaneous trips. We used to do them all the time but have been way more conservative with travel in recent years. Sometimes, life calls for a YOLO moment.

My kids are excited and it’s also a 10 year wedding anniversary celebration.

Listen, I’m not lying when I say the mountains are calling me.

What I’m writing this week:

I’m half way through a piece titled: God made us creators, not beggars. Here’s what I call Visceral Prayer — it will change your life.

My readers have requested this in droves and it is such a BEAST of a topic… one piece won’t do it justice but gosh, you’re going to love this one piece. Stay tuned on Thursday Aussie time for its delivery.

The unglamorous bit:

Slowly weaning figgy as she approaches three and I find it so hard, emotionally. I feel my body is ready long before my heart is. I just value it so much, I want to nourish her this way as long as possible AND also… I do still have the capacity to do it.

Sol weaned quite easily at 18 months. Pax fed til 3 years (true booby monster!). Figgy is a bonfadie booby monster too. I am persisting despite feeling ready, and trusting that a natural wean will happen.

I wrote her a weaning book a year ago, because I felt I was ready then… but neither of us were. I’ve never had a baby self wean and I’ve also never run out of milk.

I love extended breastfeeding. I also sometimes feel conflicted with regards to when to stop, and whether I just make the call, or let it happen on it’s on time. Sometimes as a ‘natural mumma’ I feel we don’t talk about this conflict enough- we think we need to act all ‘ohhh i just love it 24/7’. I am breastfeedings BIGGEST advocate. I’ve breastfed day and night for 7.5 years total and endured a lot of mastitis during that time and I can that I both love it, AND find weaning tricky.

Alright that’s it for today! See you Thursday with a whopper.

PK XX

When I say it’s SUBTLE it’s because you probably don’t even notice it until someone points it out in a very direct way. Like a weird lady over in Australia maybe.

For those of us who have had big success early in our lives and then built a beautiful life from it, we can become really comfortable.

You know? I have felt this a lot in the last few years.

I’m comfy. I’m in the most precious days with my young kids. I can be home with them without the craziness of the online world. I have what I need.

So, do I really need to do that uncomfortable thing to grow? I mean, the comfort zone is soooooo nice and cozy and full of expensive french linen.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

When my back is not up against the wall like it once was, I create when I feel like it, when I’m in the mood, when it works around the kids, when I’m not premenstrual or in week one of my period, when people on the internet aren’t ticking me off, or only when i’m in a surge.

I am comfortable ok don’t disturb me. I have admittedly written and published 5 books in this space and done a lot of good creative work BUT….

I wouldn’t say I was really stretched creatively.

What motivation do I have to sit and write if I don’t feel like it? I’ve got three kids at home… I don’t need internet hoo haa it in this season.

BUT here is where i get honest and here is where a lot of us ‘high success turned devoted mothers who are still so creatively alive and a little bit turbo’ have to get honest with ourselves (because it will free us)….

I want to have creative goals again.

I wanna be in creative momentum again.

You might too.

I want to say this to you and to me: No matter how comfortable you are or what success you’ve had in previous seasons— you are allowed to be fuelled by new creative goals and financial goals. You are allowed to go again.

I would argue that it’s actually tricky to really feel on fire without an exciting goal that will stretch you.

You will feel on fire for a moment but then the fire will go out because there is no goal to sustain you— you stay in moody creativity. Posting with no real intention or direction.

I would argue too that when we are not locked in with GOOD drama, like our life giving creative outlet and exciting goals, we will get lost in BAD drama— gossip, scrolling, consuming.

Sometimes, we think a creative goal will make us distracted for our kids, meanwhile we’re scrolling and consuming and becoming more tired and impatient.

The right creative outlet is life giving for a mother and her home.

Take the permission you need— i know you wont get caught up in pursuits that are not life giving. You’re too self aware for that.

What I realised, was that my unwillingness to get ‘outside my comfort zone like the old days’ is NOT a match for the goals I have.

Read that again ^

This is the incongruence many of us are experiencing when we have super comfy lives AND we want to feel on fire again.

Ya feel me?

We need to find new motivators. We need to get in touch with what’s really driving us in our work now. Otherwise we WILL work in a way that’s very dependent on mood.

And mood does not produce momentum.

Especially when you’re as moody as us gals ;)

We’re also very self aware, I know you are too.

What happens too is something you may know well— If you’re anything like me, you might get on a roll creatively and then feel a little too exposed, or maybe the amount of eyes on your work overwhelms you and even threatens you…

So you hide.

You take a break.

Besides, it’s day 22 of your cycle you deserve it.

Perhaps it’s true that it’s time to take a break.

Perhaps it’s a pattern of GO and then STOP.

Look, I am not at all negating the very real way we can perceive nervous system threats in our bodies when we feel exposed or vulnerable. I have had to work through this personally too.

When I first started sharing online all those years ago I received a lot of public pile ons and at times, I felt unsafe being out in my home town. So whenever I said something controversial, and there was a pile on, I’d feel physically unsafe, not just emotionally.

I won’t claim to be able to help anyone through that wth this post but maybe noticing it is the beginning to addressing it.

There are many ways we hide, or sabotage when what we really want is to grow, gain momentum, be on fire, go somewhere new.

The more self aware we are, the sneaker and cheekier these mechanisms become.

In HD I am a manifestor which means my energy type works in surges. I have enormous energy surges and then need periods of rest and retreat (like please pretend I don’t exist on the internet at all during these moments). This is very true about myself and I felt very validated when I started to learn about my human design all those years ago. Still do!!!

I am NOT knocking HD at all- I hope that’s abundantly clear. I believe it’s a very useful insight and has changed peoples lives in beautiful ways. I have many friends who are OG’s in the space, like Jenna Zoe who I adore.

What I am saying as well is this…

Sometimes, we can use it as an excuse.

I know I have.

I have hidden behind ‘oh this surge and rest is just who I am’ as a convenient excuse to not go to that next, slightly uncomfortable place.

Truth is, when I was building my first biz in NWM, and when I was writing my first book, before I knew anything about HD, I worked consistently for years— no rests, Never taking breaks. I was so lit up and on fire and on a mission, I didn’t need to. I also did not have children so…. Turbo mode could be engaged full time without any real consequences.

I didn’t know about it so I just did my thing.

Same is true of my prior naivety around my menstrual cycle.

Before I became so attuned to my menstrual cycle and understood all of the seasons within the month, I rarely felt any dips in energy before my period began. Nothing noticeable anyway.

I have since loved learning about my menstrual cycle because, it’s marvellous. Natural. Magical. I love being cyclical. I love the changes in season we experience each month.

I started trying to schedule photo shoots etc for ovulation (obviously!!) and would be totally ok with writing less when my energy slumped (I have a home to run too).

I’d try to avoid launching anything in the premenstrual week… so that I could be light and joyful like WOOHOOOOOO and not premenstrual like HERES WHAT I MADE BI*CHES.

But also? sometimes I would use it as an excuse. ‘Ahh, it’s the week before my period… no wonder I can’t be bothered.’

It’s almost like I went from observing my menstrual cycle in all of its glorious seasons, to training my creativity to obey it.

The truth is though some of my best work has been done in the days before my period when my inhibition has gone and I am there in the spiciness of ‘I’m gonna say it and IDGAF’.

Some of my best work has been done in the first week of my period when I was soft, a little tired and tender and could say what I wanted to say without so much edge or sharpness.

Sometimes, I was expecting to be so on fire during my ovulation and so I put so much pressure on myself to get all the work done and yet… I couldn’t find the words. The words instead came around day 25 when I was expecting to be incognito and logged out of social media completely…

I mean the premenstrual week combined with a manifestors rest phase is a strong combo— I want to delete my entire existence from the internet.

While I honoured the nature of my cycle, and also the nature of my unique design (yes, I do believe it’s real)… I realised that sometimes I was leaning a littttttle too hard on them as excuses, when the reality was?

I was scared of exposure. I was scared of momentum.

It was uncomfortable to go somewhere new when I was SO COMFORTABLE where I was.

Maybe you can resonate with this— you find yourself sabotaging your momentum in sneaky ways, so subtle that you barely notice them.

Some other ways we sabotage that are subtle:

(I address these way more in my 3 hour class, Territory. That one is super good if you want to own your creative direction again and stop the to and fro in your head).

You might get really on a roll and then OOP! You start scrolling… too much scrolling. The loud and relentless cultural noises make you so internally confused that it paralyses you. You second guess what you were gonna say.

Better stop and think some more, you tell yourself.

Safer.

You might let your humility become a chokehold. When you start to gain traction, you tell yourself you’re not someone who needs any of this. You’re too good a person to have a big audience.

It’s my integrity keeping me here, you tell yourself.

You might use relentless researching and courses to keep you from actually doing the thing you know you need to do.

I’ve got more to learn first, you tell yourself.

You might tell yourself you are better mum than all of those other women who are online.

It’s because i’m a good mum, you tell yourself.

You might tell yourself you are waiting on the voice of God to give you the nod that you can go after your creative desires…. (Forgetting that God is the one who gave them to you).

I might be wrong with my direction… you tell yourself.

Whether it’s your menstrual cycle, your HD, astrology, or another sneaky little excuse that is not actually true…

If you are stop-start-stop-start with your creative life and you are NOT ok with it?

You can honour your nature, your design, your cycles and the waves of life while still going somewhere new — a new rhythm, a new discipline that allows you the momentum you actually, really want.

So let’s get into the GOODS!!!

Here’s what I am personally doing to go somewhere new in my creative success!! To stop being such a moody bish, all comfy and cozy, and to stretch again.

It’s my own behind-the-scenes coupled with straight up pep talks for you.

Ya ready??

Read more

38, born in ’88, feeling great.

I woke up this morning (writing this on my bday) to a big bunch of birthday balloons, the most gorgeous flowers, hand made cards from my kids, my husbands signature loooooong heart-felt card and some pressies!

There’s not much this gal wants in terms of pressies but my husband did nail it— he got me some snazzy tortoise shell blue blockers. Well played my guy, well played. Plus some grounding sheets, and grounding shoes and loads of loco love choccies.

My favourite thing about my birthday is how my kids hear me coming down the stairs and they run around saying ‘mums up! Mums up! She’s coming!’ Then they assemble around the balloons and gifts together and yell HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

So many of my friends have hit 40 recently or are just about to and we often talk about what we’re gonna do. The pressure to celebrate big is real. But as I always say— birthdays are about who you love, and who loves you.

They’re the day when you hear from those who love you most, and who you love most. That is the gold of birthdays— especially as you get older and you realise you have received a birthday msg from some friends for 20 years straight, no matter where in the world you’ve been.

I am so grateful for the people in my life. WELP.

In all honesty last week was a rough week for me. Sometimes it happens like this around my birthday— maybe for you too?

Yesterday my ride-or-die friends who I’ve known for 20+ friends and I went to lunch. One friend organised it all and picked me up which is such a luxury— zero mental effort on my part. We started with oysters and hot chips, and chatted and laughed in a way that those who have known each other so long can.

My mum, sisters, niece and nephew came over for dinner and all of us were together, which is only a bi-yearly thing considering my bro lives in Bali and we have our own travel too. My younger sis is also a rogue chick and often out of town.

My kids baked me a home made cake, with Erik— our family tradition.

Sol and I ran down to the beach to soak in the sun. She drew a big love heart in the sand and wrote ‘Mum is 38!’. We did a little beach sprint relay, and then I laid and sunbathed with as much skin getting the charged up UV as possible. It is actually a nudist beach, but I don’t have the guts to go full nude where everyone knows everyone. I’ll save that for Italy.

And mumma got some solo time too. Sweet, sweet solo time to walk and to write til my heart was content.

Just before I sat to write this, I went on a prayer walk.

I put my headphones in, as if I was on a direct call to God. I spoke out loud too, so the busy path of walkers would’ve thought I was on a very expressive phone call.

I was.

My long time readers love when I talk about the prayer walks and so you betcha I’m going to write a play-by-play on how I do them- stay tuned. This is probably the post I am most fanging to write.

I have unconventional views about prayer. I believe prayer is meant to be visceral. I believe that we are meant to feel our prayers and expect them, not just request them out loud while secretly believing they’re out of reach.

I believe God made us to fully participate, which means not just shout words, but to embody the words. To expect what we’re asking. To make them visceral.

If the Kingdom of God is within, which I believe it is, then our prayers have to be a full body experience— not just words that are secretly incongruent with what we believe is possible.

This is where is all comes full circle for me— prayer is reverence for our creator while also remembering that God gave us creative abilities too. It’s fusing them both.

Last week after this entry, I received loads of messages asking for me to go deeper into visceral prayer and I thought— SAY LESS. I’d love to. Let me know if you’re keen for that too (the draft has been started).

Before I get into the weekly honey for this week, I want to say thank you for being here— sincerely.

I am really back in the saddle on Substack and so excited to be growing in a very clear direction— feeling on fire again, creating a life that is as exciting and lit up as it is grounded and calm, reinventing after success, BTS of a woman who has had it all so now what? AND all the rogue side quests that will always be a fun part of Honeycomb.

SO many new paid subscribers have joined us and I am clearer than ever about what my readers are hungry for.

Feel free to comment below to let me know too.

Ok weekly honey let’s go:

What I’m loving:

Having my brother visit for my mum’s 70th birthday and how my kids counted down the days. They made his bed, put a fresh towel on it, sol made him a card and they put a chocolate eclair from the bakery (fresh) on top. Sol is such a hospitality girl. She loves making things beautiful for people.

What I’m reading:

In my rotation beside my bed right now (actually, beside Sol’s bed cos I fall asleep with her) are:

• Books about mountaineering, including ‘Into Thin Air’, ‘Beyond Possible’, and others about George Mallory, and Alex Honnold (which I cannot read without sweating buckets from palms). I made the mistake of reading the latter at night and wound myself up so much with adrenaline I didn’t sleep.
  
  After the tragic avalanche on Broad Peak late July, my entire IG algorithm was full of mountaineering posts— tributes to Nims Dai (who i’d never heard of before the accident), and the other 9 climbers who lost their lives. I found myself in only threads reading about avalanches and crampons and how they pin their tents to the side of snowy mountains in full trust that they won’t blow away?! and how they poo on the ice but it doesn’t compost cos it’s so cold? So nice they have special gel poo bags? And how sometimes people steal others oxygen like WHAT?! and the fact that there are bodies that have remained on the mountains for years, sometimes decades?! Like one guy called Green Boots? And the ravens pick eyeballs out of the bodies? And sometimes families prefer the bodies stay on the mountains because they believe is the right final resting place? It’s a whole other world.
  

  In 2023 we went to Chamonix in France. We drove from our home in Northern Italy at a last minute decision. I was about 8/9 weeks pregnant with Figgy and we got the very last of the snow season. Mum was with us, and none of us, aside from my husband had ever skii’d before. So, we went. Kids did lessons and mum and I did some rookie business. Yes, I went skiing for the first time in the first trimester but I didn’t go far enough to get into trouble. I played it safe.
  
  One day we took the gondola up to the top and the weather was awful— windy, snowy and zero visibility. As we went higher and higher, the cable car was rocking and looking down at the drop was making me SO anxious, and nauseous. My kids were sat there smiling with their rosy red cheeks and I was praying to God we would get up, get down and never have to do this again. My gosh I hate those sharply ascending cable cars/gondolas (not sure which is the right term).
  
  Anyway, during that trip, I became fascinated with mountaineering, and why people climb so high especially in the snow. Mum did too. Coming from sea level Mediterranean life in Perth, mountain life is fascinating. We bought books and were hooked, learning about the mountaineering spirit and all the little gory details about death zones etc.
  
  I prefer hiking in the sunshine.
  
  I have no desire to scale Everest at least not now. But I am so intrigued by the mountaineering world!
  
  I love witnessing the human spirit, fully alive in others.

  
  So, this last week I have been immersing myself in these books, and although many of the stories end in tragedy, there is so much to learn about the human spirit, perseverance, and also the mightiness of nature.
  
  I sometimes think dam if these guys can spend two months at altitude and climb to the literal death zone with no oxygen, then I can post on social media super honestly without fearing the comments you know?
  

• I recently read Jonathon Livingstone Seagull by Richard Bach. It heard it was one of MJ’s favourite books. I can see why. Different for sure but beautiul. It encourages the pursuit of excellence. Which, is right up my alley. I can totally see MJ reading and resonating with that book— it has a gentle spirit and a love of excellence as I believe he did.
  

• The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. I just got a fresh copy to revisit. Old one is in storage. Has been a while and i love touching back in with the classics.
  

What I’m excited about:

Those who have followed me for a while may remember the vision I had about the homeschool hubs back in 2021. I created a vision for hubs where homeschooled kids did classes of their own choosing, while their parents could write/work/workout in the same hub. Family-centred hubs. I made a website for it all (still got it) and planned for the Italy home to be hub #1, and a building I bought in the South West of Aus to be #2. I decked it out, furnished it, and hired someone to manage for me. I made a rookie error with #2 and it wasn’t zoned correctly and tbh, it was not the right spot for the model. I learned a lot about all that needs to be considered.

I parked the vision, but it’s still been very alive in me and I’m feeling the call to go for it, but somewhere new. Stay tuned.

What I’m writing this week:

For the big post later this week, I am writing about how I used my menstrual cycle and my human design as excuses to hide when I was gaining creative momentum. I’m going to share how I learned to honour my cycle while still growing in momentum calmly and excitedly and it’s for YOU if you are so insanely self aware, you SO want to grow and be on fire again, but you keep sabotaging in subtle ways.

It’ll be for paid subs! Upgrade if you’re keen.

The unglamorous bit:

Guys. The other day one of my best friends from interstate surprised us with a quick visit. She gave no notice (I love that about her- she’s such a ‘pop in’ kinda gal)…. But the thing is…. our guard dog did not expect her either. Yikes! She has come through the gate with her beautiful high energy, and our dog has not recognised her and has nipped the back of her leg. It was more a warning nip than an actual bite but it still hurts. She did it once to me when we first got her (she was a rescue and so naturally anxious).

It’s not a deep bite, it’s healing well, we treated it immediately with iodine (topically) and Ledum (homeo) immediately. But DAM I felt terrible.

It was a really funny energy week last week, but my birthday was SO wholesome and full of love and I felt all that epic energy of starting a new personal year.

See you later in the week with some signature Pk fire.

Lotsa love,

PK XX

Not on fire as in burning out, frantic, over-caffeinated fire— but the calm, excited, natural fire that comes from being on the same page as yourself and doing the work that brings you alive. The work that is the true signature of your soul.

Not the old work.
Not the ‘should’ work.
Not the copycat work.
The holy fire work.

I often think back to a time when I was so completely on fire, unstoppable, on a roll— locked in as the kids today would say.

It started in 2012, and this fire led me to building a 7 fig a year business back then when it was still a little taboo for a young person to do so.

That business went on to make 8 figures total but that’s not what I think about most when I think about being on fire.

I remember how it felt to be so locked in, so lit up, so excited, opportunities left right and centre, growing and expanding as a person fast— it was so much fun.

What it took though, was a lot of work— especially on my mind.

People hit me up often and ask me to talk about money more like I used to.

Truth is though If I were to talk about money now it would be a very different conversation- it would be more about what happens after you earn the money- investing, diversifying, decentralised assets, and how most all of my moves have been intuitive. This is such a quiet, private part of my life now that I haven’t ever felt called to make it ‘my thing’ publicly. Who knows, that may change.

There are so many teachers out there teaching about how to ‘earn’. So many. There are also some great teachers teaching about the above ^ too. I know two personally in Aus so if you want recommendations, comment on the post.

I believe that when you get really honest with yourself, start siding with yourself, resolve your internal conflicts, build capacity in your own body, and tap back into that pure innocent excitement that we ran on in 2013, that you will have a thriving financial life.

Which wormholes you want to go down after that, crypto etc, depends on your worldview.

But let’s get back to today!!

I want to give you a little slice into turbo PK energy from back in the day and yes, I’m going to share the most important things I did to:

a) be on fire

and

b) become the person who could earn good money. We’re gonna get specific.

So, let’s go!!!

Turbo 2013 PK mode incoming!!!

I used to write and talk about money all the time over a decade ago.

I was one of the few millennial voices back then bridging spirituality + money, and who advocated loudly for wealth being in the hands of good people.

It was niche back then. Taboo. Remember how weird it was to talk about money? Especially if you were a good person who cared.

I wrote about investing and circulating Vs spending and how to resolve all your inner conflict when it comes to money and who deserves it.

I taught people to write a reconciliation letter to money, to detail their most honest stories about it, to resolve the internal conflict between what they wanted and who they were.

I shared a lot of solid stuff— also a lot of innocently cringe stuff like ‘OMG I JUST HIT 7 FIGURES A YEARRRRRRRRR’ back in 2014 when it was very weird to do so. It was different days then you know guys? I stuck out like dogs balls.

It seems so vintage now looking back.

Before I could teach with any real spine about completely changing your financial life, and most importantly, your mind… I did it myself.

I wasn’t speaking just from ‘downloads’ or fantastical ideas…

I was speaking from my real, gritty, lived experience of changing the financial story for myself and my family— young.

I was speaking from my experience as the eldest daughter of a single mum of 4 — who made a promise as a child that one day I would retire my mum, pay off her mortgage and relieve her financially.

Growing up as the eldest daughter, I was privy to my mums financial stresses— much more so than my siblings were.

I knew when mum was worried that we were about to lose the house.

I was paying attention when we had to boil kettles on the stove to pour hot water into the bath cos the hot water had gone out.

I paid attention when mum sold cars so we could go on soccer trips and ended up with an old little tin square Daihatsu which resembled something from the Flintstones.

I paid attention when mum saved all year for Christmas, only to watch someone steal her shopping trolley full of Christmas food two days before Christmas.

I paid attention when she would somehow manage to get us everything we wanted for Christmas— the good shoes we always needed for our sports— a birthday party each every single year— and a really solid, love filled childhood.

I also paid attention when my mum, no matter how tight things were for us, gave to others.

She bought toys and food for the Salvation Army every year without fail. She gave to people (hugely with her time but also with food and money) in our community even when she was counting pennies herself and working 50 hour weeks.

I watched her struggle financially and I watched her give generously.

I promised myself I would not struggle financially, but that I would always give generously like she did.

I also promised myself that I would give myself the life I wanted— that I’d be able to travel the world and create a life where I could always be home with my kids.

I promised myself that I’d have a light filled home, a thermomix (this was 23 year old me speaking ok?), plentiful organic produce, and could buy new runners whenever I wanted.

I promised myself i would be able to give without flinching in any direction i wanted.

I decided this long before I became a mother and long before I met my husband.

Now, as a 38 year old woman I can look back and say with my whole chest that I kept those promises to myself.

I did in fact retire my mum from her 40 year career as a hard working high school English teacher.

I did in fact, pay off her growing mortgage so she could live her older years in peace, not worrying whether she’d lose her house.

I have flown her all around the world, business class, and given her experiences she only ever dreamed of.

I created a life where I could create whatever I wanted, no corners cut, no need for anyone to back me or edit me or tell me how it must be done.

I created a life where, regardless of who I married, I could be home with my children, travel with them, afford everything they needed and have organic groceries in my fridge.

I created a life, early on, that would ensure my kids would never need have to worry about me.

This mattered to me.

Financial independence mattered to me. I am the eldest daughter of a single mum of 4 I mean— how can it not?

It mattered to me that I could give to causes I cared about— like the documentary about Birth Time that I was the main donor for, indigenous causes, hungry children, homeless families…

I used to give 5 figures a year to my audience— splitting $250 gifts, $500 gifts and $1000 gifts to those who were either a) in a really tricky spot or b) were building something great and needed a little boost.

I invested in friends and families start up businesses privately (no equity).

This mattered to me. It mattered to me that I could help without flinching.

I am not going to be wanky and list out all the things I’ve done because that’s not what this post is about (and also I don’t prove my goodness on the internet anymore if I can help it)— we all know how much good you can do with money.

We all know that money is not the root of all evil— evil is.

But knowing that is not enough.

Why do so many people struggle to create it? Or keep it?

So many struggle to even TALK about it.

Why even now in this age where every man and their dog is teaching about money, do some people still find it’s the biggest thorn in their side?

Now as an established 38 year old woman, who has created, grown and invested AS WELL as made some mistakes too (oh I don’t forget those!)…. what do I remember about what it really took to become someone new financially, in a time where not many young people were? At least not where I was from.

In this post I’m going to share:

— The things I did every single day back then in 2012, that changed my mindset, expectation, identity and relationship with money… like, what I listened to on repeat in the CD PLAYER (YES!) of my car.

— What I did daily (never missed a day ever) back then to anchor my goals.

— My belief about ‘manifesting’ and the simple mechanisms God created for us to create in this life.

— The unconventional tactic one mentor used to help expand me financially.

— My famous question from 2014 that got 14,000 people honest about what they really wanted beyond their ‘goody goody’ goals.

— We go beyond fluffy language. I cant stand the word ‘abundance’ now after living through the 2014-2024 era sorry but I can’t.

— Most importantly you are going to feel the energy of turbo pk and how unwavering I was, and still am when it comes to the enormous creative potential God gave us.

Note NONE of this is financial advice.

This is for the purpose of taking you behind the scenes back then into what i did in the very early days of what i actually did WAY BACK IN THE DAY to become someone new at the age of 24, build to 7 figs a year before it was cool, build to 8 figs total, retire my mum, pay off her mortgage, give multiple 6 figures to others, fund many new ventures and causes, become a private/quite/intuitive/diverse investor….

Before I go on and get into the GOLD I wanna address the elephant that I know lurks in some people’s minds. I know guys, I know ;)

“But Peta, you married someone rich.”

Read more

The weekly honey is a start-of-the-week hello, little riff from me, finished off with quick fire answers to the following questions at the end:

What I’m loving
What I’m reading
What I’m excited about
What I let go of
What I’m writing this week
What I’m undecided about
The unglamorous bit

then the BEEFY post on the theme of becoming on fire again, doing your most best and honest work and having fun doing it is coming on thursday.

So, happy new week guys!

It was a big weekend for our family. I was POOPED last night.

Our weekends are typically pretty chill— considering how action packed my weekends were as a kid with 38 different sports, I have swung the other way (ish) and made sure there’s plenty of ‘nothing’ space in our weekends.

This weekend we had a birthday party at the trampoline park, the kids tae-kwon-do, a best friend’s wedding in the hills, and my second youngest sister Leigh completed a 50km trail race (also in the hills).

Logistically a juggle but a worthwhile one.

It was a special weekend. Lots to celebrate. Special moments for people close to us.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how nice it is to be ‘home’ for these special moments— how grounding it is to be surrounded by people who have known you your whole life. I’m not just talking family, but friends too.

At my friend’s wedding I chatted for an hour or two with an olddddd friend— I grew up with her brother. We went to school together, played on the same soccer team. Tragically he died when he was 18 in a car accident, along with another school friend. The twenty year anniversary of their passing was the same day as my eldest- Sol’s- 9th birthday. I think about them every year and actually, a lot more than that.

When I saw this beautiful home gal at the wedding, we spoke about those days, who lived in what street, all the friendship dynamics from back then. How she lived in the rich area and I lived in the rougher area, lol. We both know each other’s entire family and our mums would stop and chat at the local shops. You know, those kinds of historical relationships.

Despite not seeing each other in 20 years— there is a history that connects home town people. Even after spreading your wings and living life abroad, there are people at home that you share so much special history with.

Erik’s standing there as me and this friend laugh our heads off — no topics off limits— just understanding each other. He couldn’t believe how easy it was for us to connect after so long without seeing each other. Also Aussie gals can be so rogue. Pure entertainment for my american hubs.

I really value my home town people. The friends who are not social media friends in anyway. The friends I’ll celebrate my birthday with this weekend. The friends, who know my whole family, and vice versa. They know and love my kids and me, theirs. They couldn’t give a hoot what I do work wise, they have known me through every chapter and evolution— they are the ride or dies.

Coming ‘home’ feels like coming back to the womb in many ways. It’s the comfortable origin, the place of familiarity. It’s not always the place of expansion but I don’t expect it to be.

I know I won’t be ‘home’ forever.

I used to grieve this while I was here. I’d watch my kids play with their cousins and sit there with so much joy and also so much grief knowing that dam, I love this so much while also feeling my soul be like ‘you gotta spread your wings again my girl’.

After living all around the world and coming home for big stints — I have learned to soak it in rather than worry about a day that is still to come.

My brother arrives this week ahead of my mum’s 70th birthday. The kids are so excited. Figgy said ‘I’m going to give Uncle Benne the biggest hug ever but he cannot take me home! (To Bali)’

My big kids are pumped to wrestle him and to show him their new Tae Kwon Do moves.

I turn 38 this weekend, and my mum turns 70 two days later. Yes I was her lion gate bday pressie 38 years ago.

Mum is celebrating her birthday not by having a huge party (we will have a family lunch- she said she doesn’t like enough people to have a big party, LOL) but by competing in her second Hyrox competition!!

Yes. Mum is smashing a Hyrox competition 10 days after turning 70. It’s her second one. Last year she came second in her age group.

This year she is doing it with my sister Leigh (the sister who just ran a 50km trail run yesterday) and they’re hoping to place again. I have ZERO doubt that they will.

70 years old. Smashing Hyrox competitions. This is the family I come from.

My youngest sister Sian had her first MMA fight the other week— lost only slightly.

My second youngest sister Leigh finished a 50km ultra marathon trail run yesterday and is now gearing up for Hyrox in a couple of weeks.

And me? Well, I workout 4 x a week, bounce on my rebounder and walk in the sun often. My marathon is the 10 years of pregnancy/breastfeeding on demand/cosleeping alright?

Never in my life as the eldest daughter, have I felt as lazy as I do right now amongst my mum and siblings VERY EXTRA sporting events.

But gosh I love watching events like trail runs. There is something so uplifting about these community endurance events. It did made me miss cross country running. I loved those days of running in the rain through the bush in a cross country race and then a week later, finding huge tics in my head while playing netball.

I do whole heartedly recommend going to watch a community endurance event though— it is good for the soul and the human spirit. The last big one I competed in was 2016 when Erik and I did the half marathon in Eugene, Oregon. I’ll never forget how epic the support was and how fun it was just being amongst that glorious-turned-all-the-way-up human spirit.

We were there for hours yesterday so we cheered for so many people coming in and honestly if it wasn’t for us, the cheering would’ve been so average. We really made sure the runners got a good welcome home. I was nervous to leave the event cos I realised those who hadn’t finished would not get the A+ level cheering that we were providing. Who would cheer for them like we were?!

Truly though, it was really special watching my sister come in at the end of her race, tears running down her face. She text me at 40kms and said ‘battling’. I wanted so much to run up the trail and find her, give her some lollies and run beside her the rest of the way but my younger sister told me that was a terrible idea. The oldest and youngest sisters are so different. HA!

I knew (at least part of) the motivators for my sister doing this run, and how important her training is for her mental health. So watching her come in after almost 7 hours of running, in tears, her whole family and her friends cheering… man it was so special.

Not even 60 seconds after finishing the race she saw that I was wearing my Salomon trail shoes and had a laugh ‘You came prepared too doll?!’.

Even after 7 hours of running up hills on harsh terrain she still has the energy to make fun of me— I’d expect nothing less!!

I told her yes I wore them in case she or anyone else needed help on the trail and I could leg it up there, fully equipped with the right shoes. this was true. I wore them in case I needed to go up the trail.

What if someone needed snacks?
What if someone needed rescuing?

That is the soundtrack inside the mind of the eldest daughter. It’s comical and also isn’t.

I did in fact feed the volunteer ambulance workers at the event. Sorry, but why had nobody else offered them a donut from the (healthier version of a) donut truck?

OF COURSE I am going to buy them donuts.

They were chuffed. And we got chatting about how much they love working trail events compared to regular running events because everyone is so happy and chill. Nature, man. It’s one helluva drug.

Notes from the weekend in short:

— Drive the distance to support your friends and family in special moments, like completing a perhaps once-in-a-lifetime ultra marathon that you know meant a lot to them on a deep level.

— Home towns can be a place of comfort, familiarity, grounding without needing to be your expansive place. Let each place be what it is.

— Friends’ weddings. I didn’t go into this in this post but I’d like to leave a note on it anyway: We’re not just there to celebrate and dance. We’re there to witness their vows. We’re there so that when they go through hard times we can remind them of that day and what we witnessed. Too many married friends confide in people who don’t value marriage. We are witnesses, not just wedding guests.

— Eldest daughters (and those identifying lol) can do the absolute most and still never feel like they’re doing enough. If this is you, I see you. You can have high standards without having impossible ones.

Now for the Weekly honey:

What I’m loving:

Getting as much winter sun as possible on as much of my skin as possible. Should I write a whole piece about how life-giving it is for women to sun their boobs? I might have to. As someone who had chronic mastitis for a long time, I have a LOT to say about the boobs. Start with 5 mins a day, bare boobs in the sun. Obviously you don’t want to overdo it. It’s a battery charger. It changes the tissues. It can positively affect milk supply (I haven’t needed this but it’s good to know if you do!!).

Think about the most pure, powerful red light machine on your tatas but it’s the sun.

What I’m reading:

I am always in a rotation— several books beside the bed and pick one each night kinda vibe.

— I have James Herriot beside my bed always. Just love how wholesome he is, and reading about a Yorkshire vet back in the 70s. So nourishing when you want to be taken back in time. It’s a major comfort read for me (all of his books!!).

— I’ll read a few pages of Neville Goddard every few days. I read the entire volume at once last year and I really believe you can read and ponder just one a sentence at a time because it is so rich and deep.

— Just re-opened The Essene Gospel of Peace because last time I read it I was in a different place. Love seeing what I highlighted years ago!

— I just ordered: Dumbing Us Down. John Taylor Gatto.

What I’m excited about:

Our next chapter as a family. Behind the scenes we are getting clearer and clearer on what we wholeheartedly want family life to be like, especially as kids get older. You may know that I am obsessed with the topic of how environments shape us, and I have been acutely observing how our current environment shapes us and the things I do/don’t love about it. I have written about this a lot in these pages but shall we dig in again? gosh i could chin wag about this all day.

We have been very rooted the last few years and conservative with decisions after living in USA, UK, Italy and Aus.

(Yes, we still have the Italy house— it’s being rented long term).

What I let go of:

Trying to avoid disappointing others. Sometimes living in personal integrity requires that you will. For some of us who grew up incredibly attuned to others’ emotions, this can still be very hard at times.

What I’m writing this week:

I am finishing off a piece that is probably my most requested ever— What it really took to build to 8 figs (in profit) in my 20s— an insight into my money mindset back then, work ethic, habits, what moved the needle the most and the advice I would still give now at 38.

I’m giving the people what they want!!

I’m about half way done and expect to publish on Thursday Aussie time.

Note, this will be for paid subbies so if you want full access, upgrade!

Price goes up on Wednesday for good so its a great time to get in at the lower price.

Substack is a very low cost, low effort offering. A great, simple way to go deeper with your fav creators without all the faff of new apps, logins etc.

The unglamorous bit:

One of the things I’m working on is to not let my mood influence my work as much as it can. I’m going to be writing about this actually— how being too ‘moody’ with your work slows all momentum. I’m writing this FOR ME as much as I am for you. Stay tuned.

Another unglamorous bit? I’ve had a bit of ‘cooking dinner fatigue’ lately. Yes I love providing wholesome meals for my family each night but also, wow we do it every single night. You know? We have Grill’d (burgers on uber eats) once a week and I would be straight up lying to you if i didn’t say I loved that night. I love cooking, I also love a night off or two. NO APOLOGIES.

You guys interested in my regular dinners on rotation? What are yours? Inspire me!

Here’s to a week of your most honest, exciting work that is life giving for you and all who touch it. Most importantly? May your home life flourish, may your kids get lots of sunlight and may you look up on a random 3pm arvo and say ‘I’m living my dream’.

My wish for you this week is that you can say the thing that is keeping the knot in your chest. Say it imperfectly but with the honesty and purity of a waterfall.

May you get your b00bs in the sun for at least 5 mins a day.

May you post the thing you have had drafted because it is a little edgy and may you find your people when you do.

I hope this week you lovingly admit that tiny little niggly thing that’s out of integrity so you can feel even more yourself as a woman and a mumma.

This week I hope you honour your mood but don’t let it rule your entire creative life because it keeps slowing your momentum when you do.

You can be on fire again without burning down. May you find the sweetest spot ever with your dreamy creative work and your flourishing home and those in it.

most importantly, i hope you can really soak in these golden days— without the urgency of the internet taking over. Your creative life gets to be as calm as it is exciting.

Your best work doesn’t need to be frantic. It can be as fun as it is smooth.

Lotsa love,

PK XXX

It’s not social media you want to master— it’s you.

This is why you keep stop starting.

This is why you keep telling yourself that it’s cringe.

This is why you keep telling yourself that you’re morally superior to those who go for it with their expression online (Why would she share that? I would never).

You tell yourself that you’re too good to do ‘the whole social media’ thing and yet you continue to lurk online, secretly freaking YEARNING to be as carefree and expressed as they are.

People online who are saying what they believe and sharing little trivial things about their day— they inspire you, really, but because you are lacking the courage to do it too, you go to your safe hiding place….

And it sounds like this:

“They’re just getting caught up in all this online nonsense.”

“Nobody even cares what they’re saying.”

“I mean, are they ever with their kids if they’re making all this content?”

“I’m just not going to do that whole social media thing- it’s cringe.”

‘That’s so cringe’ is the cave where millennial creatives go to hide from their potential.

The cringe cave. It’s a hiding spot. I know you know. I know it too, SO WELL! Too well. I think I may have left some furniture in there?

We all have our hiding strategies. Some of us have very sophisticated ones because we’re so clever and aware— we need to me smarter in order to trick ourselves, lie to ourselves, and stay small, stuck and stagnant.

You are yearning to be more creatively expressed (you’re not alone).

You are yearning to be able to say what you REALLY mean.

You want so bad to be able to articulate what you actually believe.

You want your screen time to be fulfilling and life giving, not soul sucking.

You want to be paid but not the old, clunky way.

You want to be on fire again.

You want to say what you wanna say without cutting all the good bits out to please the 67 voices in your head that psych you out before even hit post.

Here is what is going to free you:

It is NOT social media that you are yearning to master.

It is YOU.

YOU.

It is NOT social media that you are busting to be great at.

It is YOU.

It is NOT social media fame that you are hungry for.

It is to be seen for who you are without any of the performative crap. THAT FREE OH I KNOW YOU KNOW (insert flame emoji x 5).

What you are yearning for is to master YOUR creative process , to live SO HONESTLY and creatively ALIVE…. To be courageous with your words and to BACK YOURSELF and TRUST YOURSELF and to feel…

On fire again.

It is not social media you want to master, it is you.

You do not care about being an algorithm queen, you care about being the kind of free where you riff on camera or write a long article and you hit POST and get on with your life and don’t check comments 80 times because you BACK YOURSELF.

You said what you said and you stand by it. Even if there are 50 comments of criticism and 50 comments of praise you STILL stand by it.

Constant over auditing? You don’t do that anymore.

You want to live and speak with such unflinching honesty.

You want to stop over-explaining in the comments or editing your long posts down to a tempered neutrality like it was written for a boring mainstream newspaper.

You want to BACK YOURSELF. Like, really back yourself. No longer falling over into pieces whenever someone pushes back on your ideas or when your metrics suck or when you feel too niche.

You want to stand behind what you believe, and be totally ok with the fact that yep, you’ll probably change your mind and that this is GOOD- not the end of the world.

You want to spend more energy on the honesty, energy, aliveness, precision and integrity of YOUR WORK and YOUR LIFE and YOUR EXPRESSION…. And 99% less on trying to control every single person who comes along and reads and it and what they think of you.

Social media is not the mountain you are desperate to climb… the mountain is you.

You want to stop letting those 7 predictable voices in your head stop you before you post… Every single time they are so loud “You sure you wanna say that? Deb’s gonna think you’re talking about her. People are gonna think you’re out of touch…..”

Those voices that have kept all of your best work in drafts? They’re on mute now. Either that or you just tell em to shut up.

You want to be so in touch with your inner world that you know what you think,

and you know what you believe,

and you know what matters to you,

and you know what you want to say,

and you know how to say it.

You back yourself to say it.

You trust yourself again.

Girl oh girl this is what you want the most.

To trust yourself again.

You look to all of the other voices online and THIS is what you are jealous of. They trust themselves. And you used to. And because that is so ouchy to face, instead you go back to the same excuse….

“But social media is so cringe.”

Girlfriend. Social media is just the host. Let it be just that.

What you want is a richer, more alive, more UNBOTHERED creative life that is the work of your SOUL.

You want it to be so life giving that you are the BEST MUM YOU HAVE EVER BEEN because your limited screen time is spent on CREATING ENERGY and not PISSING IT DOWN THE DRAIN!

You are not dancing around your best work anymore, you are doing it. Your screen time can go down, and your joy and presence goes WAY up.

You keep stop starting because it is easier to blame social media, than to keep pursuing the freedom that your soul is desperate for you to know.

No, you don’t care about mastering social media.

You care about mastering the work of your soul.

You care about mastering your voice.

You care about backing yourself.

You care about creative integrity in a performative world.

Social media?? It is just the place where you get to share it. It’s also the place you get to witness it in others.

You feeling more free now?

I hope so.

You want more of this but better?

Stay around.

Here in these pages of Honeycomb, I share memoir style, unfiltered about my own creative reinvention as someone who has been on IG for 14 years and Substack for 4.5 .

I also share as a mumma of 3 who built to 8 figures in my 20’s (so, ages ago. I’m almost 38 now). I reoriented my life around my babies and my home as soon as I became a mum and have NO regrets— I live a family centred life and I write from this context always. So, when I say we’re becoming ‘on fire again’ I mean it differently than many do online— we’re building capacity within ourselves as women, we’re focussed on what is life giving and turning from what is not, we’re family oriented and mumma is ALIVE. Read this post if you haven’t yet.

We are entering a new era here and it’s going to be exciting, above all else. We have lost touch with what EXCITES US. I mean tell me WHAT DO YOU WANT TO MAKE? Excitement is your evidence!!

The piece I’m working on next week is something my readers have been requesting for years— What it really took for me to build to 8 figs in profit in my 20’s. I am going to take you back into what I did DAILY to get my mind where it needed to be to build wealth so young, coming from a family where I was the eldest daughter of a single mum of 4 who grew up in the Aussie burbs and had a garage as my bedroom ;)

Yep, I’m talking the stuff I shared in my first book, Earth Is Hiring but from the wisdom of me now, looking back as a 38 year old. I’m gonna share, looking back after a decade+, what moved the needle for me the most.

Here is your invitation real quick:

1. Stay or become a free subscriber and get 1 x post a week… a weekly roundup that I’m calling ‘weekly honey’. You can also access a lot of the 200+ post archive. Not all though.
   

2. Become a paid subscriber, and get ALL OF IT. 2 x posts a week + the whole archive including the old favs from way back. The second post each week will always go more bonkers with the sole purpose of freeing you creatively, restoring the unflinching honesty in your voice, and is also a behind the scenes into my own process. This week, the paid piece was this one on pushing reset on your brand and having so much fun again.

If you want someone to be breathing fresh air into your creative life, and for it to be super low effort on your end (you can literally just receive via email), then jump in.

Paid subs are just $8USD a month and $80USD a year until next week on Wednesday.

Then they go to $11USD a month and $90 USD a year next week .

I’ve got loads more to write before my youngest wakes from her nap so i’ll leave it there for now.

I am so thankful to have you here and my hope is that you live in the creative aliveness and freeing honesty you are craving. We can go there together (I’m in this too).

Reply to me or comment below — I read them!

LOTSA LOVE,

PK XXX

I have been on Instagram for 14 years, Substack for 4.5 yrs.

I deleted my FB with over 55,000 followers back in 2018 because I could nottttt be bothered with another platform. I do wish I had’ve saved my photos from my party days though. They’re all gone. Probably for the best.

Yes, when you click on my Instagram account info it says I joined in 2011 AND I have exactly the same handle as back then. at petajean_ . How very vintage of me.

I mean, I get in my head sometimes for not being ‘consistent’ like the local generators on social media. But the truth? I have been incredibly consistent with sharing my voice on social media. Sure, I’ve taken breaks but who cares? If there’s one thing I have stuck to for the long game, it’s been sharing online. It has been creating, evolving and expressing. I have a brand with real longevity.

I have often fantasised about drawing a big fat line across my instagram and being like NEW SEASON GUYS NEW SEASON IGNORE EVERYTHING BEFORE HERE.

Still, I’ve also fantasised about burning it down and building again without the (perceived) heavy weight of my audiences expectations. I have had people follow me since the beginning and I LOVE THIS but there is a niggling part of me that feels obligated to satisfy their expectations of me in 2011, me in 2013, me in 2015, me in 2017, me in 2022, me in 2025.

Do you know what I mean?

I have no problem changing my mind publicly— I’ve done it many times. My audience has watched me go from science girl to super woo woo, to network marketing pioneer building a 7 figure, onto 8 figure business in her 20’s….

to moving to the states to be with my husband and getting married in maui…

Publisher of 5 books beginning with Earth Is Hiring that I toured for globally with my eldest baby on my chest (so fun).

to home birthing natural mumma of three loves of my life (still her)…

world traveller living in four different countries and the emotional journey of returning to my home town several times… (you can actually go back in my archive and read about all that). This included living in London near Ricky Gervais and seeing him play with my dogs almost everyday trying so dam hard not to embarrass myself as a fan girl. I played it cool most of the time, not all.

BSc(Hons) science gal turned super crunchy, to then writing a whole book about Body Luxury- life beyond wellness obsession.

Gal who spoke up about the jabs, and chest feeding, and other things that shouldn’t have been controversial but were. Strange times.

Finding Jesus on my search for truth and freedom, but then turning hard right towards conservatism and blurring my faith with politics for a while there as cultural conversations made my inner world a bit loud…. and then PHEW popping out the other side into a faith beyond performance, beyond labels, beyond politics and into the great remembering— what Jesus really came here to tell us, to free us from…

I have hosted events, written books, taught programs (then archived them all), secretly donated, secretly angel invested, secretly wrestled with whether to do this dam social media thing at all.

After all, I can afford to switch it all off, so why don’t I?

Because I so value creative expression. I value freedom of expression. I value free speech. I value the sharing of ideas and the free market. I value humanity and seeing ourselves in each others raw expressions. I value hilarious people and their funny videos. I value the sharing of important messages that change the way others think for the better. I value the power of everyday people sharing information with each other beyond the grips of the elites.

I value these things so much and so I have stayed. I have stayed on social media.

But staying on social media is not the same thing as having fun on it, as loving it again, as using it in a way that breathes life into you and your home and your family.

We get to love it, we get to have fun with it, we get to use it in a way that breathes life into our art, our expression, our audience, and the people who are most important to us— in our home.

So right now I am entering a new season of expression. I’m intentionally going to a new place, sharing from a new energy. I am doing the subtle, behind the scenes work on updating my self concept, so that the energy I bring to my pages and my audience is naturally new and refreshed.

It needs to be, after 14 years. We need intentional periods of reinvention so that we don’t feel like dried up saltine crackers every time we approach the keyboard, slogging out a post out of obligation.

Nup. We don’t need to do that. There is a new well of aliveness and excitement that we get to tap into.

I am in my intentional reinvention now…

I am sharing it with you in these new and refreshed pages.

Here, I am going to share some of the gold from my own experience, that will free little bits of stagnancy and subtle dishonesty within you.

These 5 nuggets will help to restart the engine of your brand, find your fire again, have fun again, and perhaps totally change direction without needing to change your handle, put a fat line through your grid or burn it all to the ground. It’s tempting, but not necessary ;)

Number 1 or 4 will hit the hardest I’m guessing. You’ll have to let me know!

There is also a fun activity at the bottom too that I personally did yesterday!

Your new energy will have nothing to do with being a goody-goody. Your new brand is unflinchingly honest, alive and life giving for all who touch it.

Keep in mind, this is going to be an ONGOING conversation on my Substack so continue following. This will not be the last post on the topic.

Read more

Yesterday I took my eldest daughter Sol to a 9th birthday party at the roller skating rink. It was the SAME roller rink I used to skate to when I was a kid. When I say it was the same I cannot emphasise, it enough.

It still had the retro 70’s carpeted wall. The arcade games I swear had some prizes from 1998 that still hadn’t been won. I’m fairly sure the skates were the same ones we hired back then. I’m pretty sure there receptionist has been there since I was 8 years old but wait for it… this is my favourite part….

They still do not have card facilities! Cash only, or bank transfer, even if you’re buying food.

I love it. Whether they’re doing a little under the table cash operation or whether they’re just truly stuck in time I don’t care. It brought back the MEMS.

I popped some blades on, skates for Sol, and off we went. But wait you guys it gets better— As we were skating, childlike and having the best time guess what song came on?

‘I want it that way’ by The Backstreet Boys.. I KNOW STOP.

The nostalgia almost threw me to the floor. It was so beautiful and also a little painful. Man, time goes so fast.

The party was for Sloan, a friend of Sol’s since birth because Sloan is the eldest daughter of two of my best buds.

Mary, Sloan’s mum and I used to party together until 6am at questionable establishments (I’m talking, 2006/2007) and then both go into work in the same shopping complex at 8am the same day. You did this too right? I worked at Subway as a sandwich artiste’ and she worked in the bike shop.

She’d come in for lunch and I’d make her a filthy sub (because if only you knew what goes into those things), and we’d console each other just with our glaze, unable to unpack the night before because of the lunch rush. I was working my hungover little toosh off in the production line.

Mary then joined me in my first business (Isa!), along with her husband Danny and they’re two of the most solid, salt of the earth people I know. Just wanted to add that little shoutout into my story.

Anyway, after the party Sol and I stopped to get a hot choccy for her and a decaf (definitely decaf!! It was 2pm!! ) mocha for me. I’d already had my coffee in the morning and I am still a breastfeeding mumma so… I do not do afternoon full strength coffee ok?

For the hot beverage enthusiasts like me let me stop real quick and tell you what I’m on right now:

Morning either before my workout with breakfast or after: A double shot + cacao, maple, gelatin and organic milk.

In the arvo about 1:30/2pm I’ll have either: the same but decaf, the same but just cacao, or a decaf at a local cafe that I walk to with my babes. I’m totally off matcha now by the way.

So, I parked the car outside the cafe and Sol jumped out to order at the window for us. I asked her after if she FOR SURE said decaf because an afternoon double shot would spell a nightmare for me and probably Figgy sleep wise. She did (of course she did. Rarely misses a beat my girl, just like me).

But just because I was SO TERRIFIED of a double shot in the afternoon, I also shouted out the window to the cafe girl ‘HEAVY ON THE DECAF OK?’ and then gave a little ‘hehe’ and a wink.

Let’s cut to the chase. It was not decaf.

But ya girl didn’t know that until I’d had the WHOLE THING.

I didn’t get to sleep until about 3am. I tried listening to ebooks to put me to sleep but they actually revved me up and gave me too many ideas. I tried listening to dumb podcasts but the ones I chose were not dumb enough. I had melatonin free gummies with GABA etc in them. I swapped beds a few times.

All that to say that I am so under slept this morning but I know dam well from 9 years of compromised sleep during motherhood that the language of the mind matters a lot on these days.

And, I have an undercurrent of energy in me that doesn’t seem to care about my mood, or my sleep, or whether the girl at the cafe did me dirty yesterday…..

It’s the energy of a promise.

I promised myself recently that I was going to go somewhere new in my creative work. That I would feel on fire again. Not just in spurts but a new consistent hum of the promise.

Still, always, with my home in the centre. Kids coming first. We live a family centred life and will do so forever.

But also? My third baby is soon to turn three (still on the boob yes), and mumma wants to grow personally and in new ways again.

When I say “on fire,” I don’t mean over-caffeinated, chaotic, impulsive.

I don’t mean it the way I felt back in 2013, building my first big movement and business before having a family.

I don’t mean caught up in expired goals and expired identities.

I don’t mean doing what everyone else is doing.

I don’t mean setting fake goals from anxiety, or from fear of becoming irrelevant.

I don’t mean trying to go back in time to an old version of me.

I definitely don’t mean chasing pursuits that don’t matter — the kind that leave me more distracted, more aloof at home.

None of that. Absolutely none of that.

When I say on fire again, what I mean is this:

Honesty that surprises me.

More fun than 2016.

No deleting bits that might get me in trouble.

I believe as we approach 40, we need to 10x our honesty and 10x our time outside and those are the peptides we need.

I’m going to be taking you behind the scenes of what I am doing, like, hiring a new advisor, yep.

I’m going to write about the almost 40 renaissance — what happens when we cannot perform any part of our lives anymore, how we can be 1000x more honest than we’re being, and how to be creatively unaudited.

I’m going to write about the ‘successful woman turned devoted mother who wants to feel on fire again but new’… and the behind the scenes of this in my own life.

I am going to write the thoughts that should not be blasted to 100,000 people on Instagram.

I’m going to write about identity upgrades and the parts of Neville Goddard’s work that make me gasp with remembrance and the conspiracies I keep unloading onto my husband and my personal favourite will still be a feature… how geographical locations shape us.

We will be side questing. There will be range.

These pages are going to excite you again.

I have been writing on Substack for 4.5 years now— since January 2022.

This next season of Honeycomb is all about GOING THERE. The place you are secretly dying to go, but not letting yourself.

Breaking out of the stagnancy, the comfort that has become a little painful, saying the most HONEST thing, noticing the very clever ways you hide and shrink….

Most importantly?

I’m going to have fun like I originally did here and you will too.

I’ve been writing on Substack for 4.5 years. Every couple of years calls for a new energy and season.

So with this new season, here is your heads up— The paid subscription (All posts. Unfiltered. No pay wall. Full archive) will be going up to $11USD a month and $99USD a year as of next week… So if you want to go somewhere excitedly new creatively or if you just enjoy my words as part of your limited screen time— now is the best to become a paid subscriber. $8USD a month or $80USD a year for the next week.

Subscribe now

Remember: You get every entry, no paywalls, access to the ENTIRE archive dating back to 2022 (over 200 posts, all unlocked). You can comment on every post, ask questions, and submit topics for me to write on. I read them.

For someone who didn’t sleep last night, and considering I am on day 27 of my cycle, I am feeling good. That’s the other thing I’m going to write about— making sure your knowledge of your cycle, your human design, astrology etc aren’t overriding your ability to CHOOSE.

I’d love to hear from you also— where are you at?

I had a beautiful email from a long time, paid subby last night who’s kids are very young. She was saying that she wants to feel ‘on fire’ again but has laid down all of her work to be devoted to her home in this season. I responded and reminded her that she is in the perfect place. To be exactly there. To not leave that precious, precious season and take on someone else’s goals. It is all about capacity, timing and seasons.

I never ever regret laying down many of my creative goals during the most precious years with my kids (which, are still so precious now).

But I have also learned a lot about capacity, how to increase it, and what takes from it.

We will talk about this too.

Lotsa Love,

PK

xxx

I remember a day a couple of years ago at my kids tennis class.

I was speaking to some mums I’d never met, and after about 30 minutes of chatting, one said “Wait, are you Peta Kelly? I love your Substack.”

I winced a little inside. I do this every time someone in my home town tells me they follow my work. Still! It’s that strange ‘hometown phenomenon’.

Like the time I was in the grocery store, arms full because hey, I don’t need no basket, and a woman stopped me to tell me she loved my work (so lovely, and I was grateful).

As I was going through the checkout, she was behind me. After checking out my $450ish dollar shop— cos you can’t exit a boujee organic store for less than that these days— I realised they didn’t accept AMEX. I knew this, dammit! So I did what I usually do when a store doesn’t accept AMEX— I fish around for another card.

So, I’m standing there fishing around in my bag for another card, realising that, dam, my backup card is at home because some hacker frauded it. I had about $400 cash on me— not enough— and so I had to call my husband and have him send a photo of another card so I could input it manually into the EFTPOS machine.

Oh what a faff I was causing, holding up the whole line. It wasn’t just any line though— it was a line including SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWED MY WORK. Here I was holding up the line WITH HER IN IT! Some rogue part of me wondered if she was secretly wondering whether I’d suddenly gone bankrupt and couldn’t afford my groceries and was trying to do a runner, lol. How could I assure her that I was financially thriving ? I mean, should i pay for the entire line’s groceries? Would she make up a story about my AMEX debarcle and take it to the dirty forums?

It’s this weird hometown thing man.

I have many stories of beautiful followers stopping me in public. I typically will stop and have a chat if I can. I also get a lot of side eyes and depending on my mood, I’ll side eye back just to make it more awkward hehe.

But gosh— there is something about people in my hometown reading and watching the work which, on some level I never thought would reach them.

I have lived all over the world and I love living in far away places where nobody knows me— I feel so much more free in my voice and honestly? In myself. When I return to my home town in Australia for seasons, I feel like a square peg in a round hole— I feel a sense of history and familiarity, comfort and home, but also a little bit of a misfit.

I built my first big business in my home town over a decade ago— packing out rooms weekly. I did the first leg of my first book tour here in 2018— which was beautiful. People from my high school rocked up and it was such a nice surprise! Of course, my family has always supported my events all around the globe. My favourite legs of the book tour were the aussie ones— regardless of where I have lived, they will always be my people.

What is it with us and the hometown thing? Why do so many of us wince when someone we know, or who live in our area, says they follow our work?

I’ve thought a lot about social media dynamics a lot over the years— I’ve written about it a lot too.

Is social media really social? Or has it become more business/work?

It’s changed so much since the days when we would post innocent photos of our breakfast with an Xpro filter to our 450 followers (all of which we knew).

Now, people use their social media accounts less to reach people they know, and more to reach people they don’t.

Acknowledging this really matters.

Unless you have a private Instagram or Facebook account, used only to share photos and updates with friends and family— your social media is not for friends and family.

This could be the freedom you need internally before you can become more precise in your message, your expression and your reach— maybe your social media is not for your friends and family at all.

Maybe acknowledging this, and unblurring it for yourself will free your voice.

Maybe it will save some relationships too. I’m not being dramatic when I say that.

I can count on two hands, the amount of stories I have heard over the last month of friends of mine with decent sized audiences, saying that they’ve lost friends because ‘they thought my posts were all about them’ or ‘they thought I was thinking I’m better than them’.

There is also this message doing the rounds which I fundamentally disagree with (see this IG reel for what I said about it), that suggests that REAL friends like, comment and gas you up on your social media posts. Those who don’t? They’re fake and jealous.

I suggest you watch the reel I filmed for my thoughts on this but I’ll recap here.

I disagree.

I personally don’t host my friendships and closest relationships on social media.

My close relationships exist in real life. For my close long distance relationships, we use long whatsapp or telegram messages, and we will schedule facetime chats. We send each other photos of our kids, and lengthy updates personally. We don’t communicate via instagram.

Sure, we might say things like “i saw your posts and i love the direction you’re going in!’ or ‘hey I loved this post you did, so true’. We will support each other, check in with each others stuff, but it’s never a performance.

I don’t check whether my friends are in my comments or liking my stories.

They have a life. I don’t believe the world revolves around me.

Many of my closest friends and I don’t have a social media relationship at all. I can think of three of my closest friends off the top of my head that I have ZERO social media relationship with. We only exist to each other in the context of our real friendship. These people know my whole family, including my mum and I know their family too.

My closest people know my family. My closest people, I know would drop anything for me in times of trouble and you bet dam well I’d do it for them too. If a friend needs me? i am there. I’ll tell my husband and kids I have to go for a quick walk, X needs to talk, something has gone down.

My closest people know me— through my many lives, many evolutions, and vice versa. We text each other for our kids birthdays, send gifts, pop bread inside the house (we know the codes) after a trip away, get our kids together for hours on end, catch up last minute with no fanfare whatsoever, give each other the honest truth, are there for each other in hard and good times. We have long standing jokes. We’ve been there through real life shit.

Real relationships. I do not need them to be gassing me up in my posts.

But I know they’re not tearing me down behind the scenes either.

You know? Just cos friends aren’t liking and commenting, doesn’t mean they’re not cheering you on— real life supporters.

Social media has made everything a fake performance.

I’m sure you’ve seen that many ‘friendships’ on social media are performative— people want to see who they are close to for social power.

You so know what I’m talking about.

There is a difference between social media friendships— people who you know via socials but who you wouldn’t call on the phone when shit hits the fan. The self help world does this especially. People want power via proximity. They wanna be tagged with certain folk.

It’s NOT the same as the village.

You have to be able to get real here.

My mum, I think likes most posts I make. sisters and my brother only comment on my posts if its a bday or anniversary. Even then, not always. But guess where is the first place I run to when I need to vent? My husband first, but also my family whatsapp.

Or to my mum when she comes over. Or to a friend on a long audio.

Sometimes we will share each others stuff, or comment but again— not as a performance because we are in contact in real life. My two younger sisters are not my target audience. We live very different lives. We support each other but again, not as a public performance. My brother and I have long chats about deep topics but these don’t take place on social media.

They are not the people I am trying to reach. But that doesn’t mean they’re not supportive, and vice versa.

(We do send each other reels though. lol)

I do not care whether my closest people like or comment on my posts. I know that it does not mean they are jealous or fake.

I also know the difference between my real and actual village, and social media relationships. They’re not the same.

Sure, I have met true friends via Instagram.

But Instagram is NOT where I host my closest relationships.

It’s where I host my work, my expression, my message. It’s where I reach people I do not know in an intimate sense.

Many people have to unblur this for themselves.

My social media is for my expression, my work, and my creations.

I do not write or express on social media for the purpose of reaching or helping the people in my immediate circle. My relationships exist off this platform.

We need to draw boundaries around it for ourselves. It is very hard to be fully expressed when you’re worrying about the opinions of people you’re not even writing for.

Sometimes we just need to draw a line for ourselves and say, “My social media is not for my friends, is not for my family. It’s for my work, it’s for my expression, and it is not a place that I house or serve or nourish my most intimate relationships.”

There is another phenomenon that I have heard so, so many stories about lately (I have also experienced it myself)— is people thinking your posts are written about them.

I have read posts and felt triggered, or a resonance, or punched in the gut by them. I know though, that they were not written for me personally. I know i am not the sole inspiration for other people’s posts. I trust my friends to come to me directly if they have a message for me and not to passively write about me.

But this is the thing with social media— we can write posts which are direct (in my case they always are!), and when we have both a social media relationship AND a real life relationship with someone, it opens up the door for them to say ‘omg is that about me?’

For instance I have friends who are going through huge identity upgrades right now— earning great money, rising above victimhood, changing their bodies after years of excuses. They speak to their audience from this place— they speak to the person who wants to change like they did.

Friends of theirs think they’re talking to them personally.

They’re not.

They’re talking to the people they’re trying to help. It is their business.

We’ve seen it happen also with politics. You can have an incredibly solid relationship with someone in real life, but then you see their social media posts and decide you can’t be their friend?

It happens.

It’s sad.

I have actually had friends who I have specifically unfollowed because their social media posts were so…. derogatory about certain demographics without meaning to be. They were caught up in the hype of certain big global moments. I knew that when we were together, we were great. We could have open honest convos about our different beliefs. I would rather this, than have a social media relationship with someone. So, I stopped following them online so I could maintain a real relationship with them where we actually talk about things.

I have friends who purposely don’t follow friends and vice versa. They have hard boundaries between their social media and their personal lives and ya know what? I get it!

I don’t have such staunch lines. I check in with friends stuff, but never as a performance. I don’t make it a priority in my life to be across their social media work. It’s not where our relationship exists. I comment and like when I see something and if I particularly love it, but again, not as a performance. Our relationships are not measured by our IG engagement. Do I need to walk into their workplace and pretend they need my presence there? no. I do care about being an active friend though.

You’ve got to draw whatever lines you need. But with social media in 2026? You sure need some lines.

it’s getting weird out there. Decide whether your socials are for socialising, or for a message/mission. If it’s both, expect a little blurriness.

I want to really hammer this home too because I know it’ll free you:

If you are using your social media for your work, your expression, your message— you need to stop writing for the girls in your hometown, or your cousins, or your high school friends.

No, this is not inauthentic.

Social media— substack, Instagram all of it— will never capture the totality of who you are.

Authenticity itself is a performance now. People believe they have to reveal every crevice of their life to be ‘real’. No. You can be both private and authentic. Authenticity has layers. Not everyone who follows me online is gonna know what a funny b**** I am in real life ok? Cos online most of the time I just deliver butt whoopings. it’s my signature style. But its not ALL of who I am.

It is ok for your social media presence to serve your work and your mission, and not your intimate relationships.

I am blessed that my closest people can read and appreciate my work and many of them love it and follow it genuinely. Some of them don’t give a shit about it, and I love them for it.

I believe there is some spiritual warfare going on where relationships are ending because of the fake and performative nonsense in the online world.

Come to it new.

Unblur it for yourself.

Tell your friends and family if you need to, that your social media presence is not meant for them but that your real life relationship is.

Free your voice, by writing with more precision without factoring in what all of your home town people will think— you’re not writing for them.

It is impossible to reach who you want to reach if you’re writing for people you are not meant to reach.

It is impossible to even be authentically expressed if you have the wrong people in your head when you’re writing.

If you want to grow a sizeable audience, take this piece of advice— stop writing for your family and friends. It’s not for them.

Nurture those relationships separately, and if they love your work anyway? Great!

Think about it… do you need your closest people coming to your workplace and approving what you do? No. That would be inappropriate. This is my WORK mate, Ill call you later.

We have to untangle it for ourselves.

You must, if you want a clean voice, and tidy boundaries.

You can find my books and classes here at petakelly.com. if you’re up for a big reboot, I suggest either TERRITORY my most recent class or HONEST— 118 pages about creative integrity in a performative world.

Lotsa love,

PK

The comment sections are more mature, considered, less emotional like the chaotic comment sections of Instagram.

One reason is because posts are longer here— things are shared with more context. You have to really choose to click on someones article and read it all the way to the bottom before commenting. On Instagram, you can stumble upon someone’s 92 second reel or 5 slide carousel and feel entitled to make moral judgements in the comments.

The truth about social media, particularly short form like Instagram, is that all posts lack context. All of them. Unless you know someone intimately, have known them their entire lives, and have followed their work from the beginning of time, you don’t have all the context.

This is why it feels so ughhh sometimes to post on Instagram, and read the comment sections.

How are people taking things so out of context?

How are people thinking this entire post revolves around them, even when I’ve never met them?

How are people making these assumptions that are, totally wrong?

It seems bizarre really, that so much of modern day communication happens on these platforms.

It is quite literally impossible to be completely understood by strangers on the internet— to never be misjudged, to never be projected on.

The fact that we try, is what drives us mad.

Making peace with these three facts is necessary as both a creator and consumer on social media:

1. Everything lacks context. This should make you less triggered as a consumer and it should allow more freedom as a creator.

2. Nothing is about you. If it resonates, cool. If it doesn’t, don’t expect the creator to change what they said to suit you. This entitlement dynamic drives me NUTS.

3. Someones else’s expression is not your prescription. Unless someone is your mentor, coach, doctor or someone you have actually hired to give you plain advice— they are not prescribing anything to you, no matter how sharp or direct their language. They are posting into the social media broadcast and had NO IDEA of exactly who would read it. This should free you both as a creator and consumer.

As a creator, this should allow you to remember that no, you don’t need to hold people’s hands every time you post. Grown ass adults need to get better at discerning, at scrolling on, at not taking everything so dam personally.

I have been posting online for FIFTEEN YEARS.

I deleted my facebook at 60,000 followers in 2018 and I have slowly grown my Instagram to 112k followers. This is a snails pace compared to how fast people move now and you know what? I’m ok with it. If I wanna grow fast, I’ll employ the grow fast tactics. But what matters most to be on socials is that I can say what I mean. Sometimes I believe we will only grow as fast as our nervous systems will allow and honestly? It took me years to stop wincing when someone misjudged me in the comments. Especially 5-7 years ago when the woke police upped their patrols.

Everyone (including me) says that your freedom with expression really begins when you stop caring so much what everyone thinks.

That goal seems so elusive really doesn’t it. ‘Stop caring what others think’.

It’s normal and natural for us to want to be liked.

It’s normal and natural for us to care what our immediate circle, our village cares about us. We have accountability to those in our real life.

But how many people can we ACTUALLY, truly care about when it comes to their perception of us?

Really sit with this.

Can you care about 100,000 people’s opinions of you?

How do you do that? Do you have to become neutral in everything you say? Tone everything down? Even then, you still wouldn’t be liked?

What happens, is after being online long enough, you learn first hand that it is literally impossible to care about what more than a handful of people think of you.

Impossible.

I mean you can, but you have to trade your freedom, your integrity, your peace… to name a few.

I have grown in my ability to ‘care less about how I’m perceived’, because I have been in the arena so long, I have been forced to.

I could no longer afford to.

I could not afford another afternoon of nausea while I tried to play with my kids, stewing over a misjudged comment from someone I had never met in my life.

I could not afford the hideous pain of trying to say what I meant while taking my signature edge off it.

I could not afford to trade the full freedom of my integrity for the shallow reward of having Marie in Austin give me her approval.

Most people just have not reached this point yet.

This is my message for you today.

The reason you still feel sick in your stomach when a stranger online misjudges you?

The reason you still care more about what others think than you’d like to?

You haven’t reached the point yet.

The one where you have to choose — between your aliveness, integrity, expression, freedom and peace, or trying to manage how you’re being perceived.

The point where you have to draw a line under it.

I used to think I “didn’t care” how I was perceived online. Meanwhile, my stomach would drop every time someone misjudged me or took something out of context.

I’d explain. Give context. Add disclaimers. It became impossible to say anything with any real, sharp truth. It was exhausting.

Every person who’s put themselves out there long enough — misunderstood, misjudged, projected on — reaches a point where they simply cannot care anymore. Hear me clearly: they cannot.

Most people who truly don’t care anymore don’t flinch, don’t check, don’t explain. But hear me on this— they earned it.

They put in the reps. They were spewed all over. They had weeks they didn’t eat because the physical threat of being misjudged consumed them. They paid the price.

More than this, they realised how impossible it is to be in integrity, in their freedom of expression— and try to be liked by people who don’t know them.

It has taken a long time of sharing my work and my voice, of being in the public eye in many different contexts, for me to truly learn something: it’s not about not wanting to care. It’s about not being able to.

As a mum with little kids at home, I have the capacity to use my voice and create. I don’t however, have the capacity to micromanage people’s perceptions, give lifelong context, hold someone’s hand through a post, or tend to every stranger’s insecurity, demand, or projection. I don’t have capacity to make sure everyone knows I’m a good person.

I reached a point where I’ve had to learn, through pure fire, what’s my side of the bed — and what’s not.

I’ve made peace with the fact that everything on social media lacks context. That everyone thinks everything is about them. That people are committed to their story about the world, about themselves, and sometimes about you.

You don’t get to “not caring” just because you want to. You get there by deciding you literally cannot have freedom at the same time as caring. You start to see how the human mind actually works — and that you’ve been on a hamster wheel, wishing everyone would see only your good parts, without their own ideas and worldview attached. You realise it’s delusional to think you can express yourself publicly, or do anything of real value, without being misunderstood in some way.

The greatest creators stop caring whether they’re liked the moment they can’t afford to keep caring. Their work, their message, their integrity depend on drawing that line. So does their health.

You still overthink how you’re perceived because the stakes aren’t high enough yet. Once they are, you’ll understand: their perception isn’t my job. My expression is. You’ll also understand, first hand, through so much experience, that it is literally impossible to control how you’re perceived by people who do not truly know you. This will free you.

You realise what actually matters to you — integrity, expression, freedom, peace, using your God-given gifts well. And that you can have none of those things and have people blowing smoke up your bum twenty-four hours a day. Not both.

All big change happens at the point of enough.

After fifteen years, I’m there.

Some of you just haven’t gotten there yet. The more you put yourself out there, the faster you will.

Be clear on what you value— integrity, freedom, expression, your gifts, your message, what you really care about in this world. When this matters more to you than being understood? Then you will find the peace you’re looking for.

Love, PK.

XX

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